My recovery diary - Last bet 18/02/2012 - Forwards and upwards

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castle2
(@castle2)
Posts: 1423
 

Morning Andy

Fantastic achievement and fully deserved nothing makes me happier than seeing others hit targets and milestones and of course living that better life without gambling in it

Not looked who u have this weekend we have the mighty Yeovil at home lol need that 1st win its now or never

Enjoy your weekend

Castle2

 
Posted : 13th September 2013 9:14 am
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
 

Hey Wilsy.

Sorry I missed your 200 day mark yesterday. It is a great feeling isn't it!! You should be so pleased with all your hard work and fantastic effort to remain gamble free.

Well done and enjoy your weekend.

Feb.

 
Posted : 13th September 2013 10:13 am
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
Topic starter
 

DAY 203

Thanks Folks and Castle, I see your boys are 1-0 up and playing against a ten man Yeovil, you should win that now.

Been up the pub to watch the Palace against Man Utd. Wasn't too disappointed really, felt we defended well and would have gone in 0-0 at half time if it wasn't for the ref giving them a pen. Now at home watching the rest of the scores come in. I enjoy this relaxed way of life.

 
Posted : 14th September 2013 3:45 pm
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
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DAY 204

Quiet day and a Toby Carvery at the end of it. All's good no urges what so ever and only think of gambling when have to update my diary.

 
Posted : 15th September 2013 9:33 pm
duncan.mac
(@duncan-mac)
Posts: 4422
 

Andy.

fella I caught up with the football earlier, I do think you gave a good account of yourselves. I think Mr hollaway is great value to the neutral!! maybe more frustrating for you.

without doubt i see this season as a low points tally top and bottom. i hope for you that the eagles are somewhere in the middle.

as to root for the underdog comes with great pleasure today.

as for the mighty pompey we actually held a lead and only had one sent off!!!

happy days my friend.

lets keep it that way.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

 
Posted : 15th September 2013 9:48 pm
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
Topic starter
 

DAY 205

Thanks Duncan, Ian Holloway certainly is a great character but I fear nowadays, I don't reckon he'll hang around much longer, I hope he does.

Another day has passed and thankfully no urges what so ever. Been round my dads tonight for dinner and to give him his birthday money and card. Basically skint now but I don't care, I'm spending it on the good things in life.

 
Posted : 16th September 2013 8:24 pm
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
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DAY 206

All is fine with me, just grinding my way through work. Leave an hour early today to go to the doctors, then a quiet night to listen/watch the football.

 
Posted : 17th September 2013 1:30 pm
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
 

Wilsy - I haven't been able to read all of your diary properly but what you have achieved is wonderful!

You've properly already written it many times - but how have you stopped? Have you done it on your own or with support?

My boyfriend is currently in residential rehab and I'm trying to learn as much as I can about recovery so we can support him when he comes home

 
Posted : 17th September 2013 5:47 pm
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
Topic starter
 

Hi Orange,

Thank you so much for your kind words.

It's a tough one as there is no answer really as t how to stop everyone is different. I first went to GA Meetings, that didn't do me any good but works for some at the beginning to get that shock treatment and to share a room with others going through the same thing. I had 10 weeks of counselling which helped for 10 weeks, then it stopped and I relapsed shortly after so unless you can have counselling forever it won't be the cure. For me it has been a mixture of changing jobs (getting away from stressed environment in sales) and accepting a lower wage, moving back home, putting blocks in place on my computer and with the bookies. Not having much money on me (Giving majority to girlfriend or paying big lumps of bills straight away) and 207 days ago I went onto Anti-depressants for the first time in 37 years. The tablets seemed to have given me a bounce in my step, that along with now gambling and having a job I enjoy. The biggest defining factor behind giving up in my opinion is 100% will power, unless someone wants to give up completely they'll never get on top. I have done well to this point but it has been one hell of a battle. I will never be cured and the urges will always be there but taking it a day at a time, I continue to beat it. I opened up to my whole family and friends as well as didn't want to do this on my own, this has helped. So to answer your question a less stressful life, anti-depressants and blocks in place with lots of will power is what's got me through.

I have got to deal with this for the rest of my life however and even though my parents put pressure on me not to gamble again, I can't guarantee I won't I can't have that life-long pressure on my shoulders, I need to take it a day at a time.

Good luck with your boyfriend, maybe offer to look after his finances. You won't fully understand his illness but you can do the best you can to listen and to allow him to open up to you. He needs to admit what he is be it a compulsive gambler or a problem gambler, there is a difference. Maybe put blocks on computer and go round together to dozens of bookies with photos and get him self-excluded. Actually go into the shops with him for support but he'll fill better for doing it and safer. x

 
Posted : 17th September 2013 6:50 pm
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
 

Wilsy,

A belated congrats on surpassing 200 days gamble free. You are doing amazingly well and deserve all the success you get. You have tackled this head on and have been determined the whole way through. A pleasure to follow your journey.

Tomso.

 
Posted : 17th September 2013 9:54 pm
duncan.mac
(@duncan-mac)
Posts: 4422
 

Andy.

Well done for sharing that post fella, my hope is it did as much for you as it did to folk reading it.

Keep up the good work my friend.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

 
Posted : 18th September 2013 10:27 am
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
Topic starter
 

DAY 208

Thanks again Duncan and Tomso for your posts, I do feel pretty good at the moment but urges have been coming back on and off. Temptation is always there but I mustn't give in. I know that I am one bet away from complete carnage.

Tired today but plugging on, the goal of 250 days being gamble free is still very much on my mind.

 
Posted : 19th September 2013 1:28 pm
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
Topic starter
 

DAY 209

Tired from a long day, just had a curry and soon going out for a beer.

Must admit had urges to gamble again this evening but not acted upon them and hoping this weekend I continue to remain resilient

 
Posted : 20th September 2013 7:42 pm
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
Topic starter
 

DAY 210

Too hungover to have any urges today, brain dead and hanging.... :-/

 
Posted : 21st September 2013 3:58 pm
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
Topic starter
 

DAY 211

Am not well today, a serious cold and sore throat. Still didn't stop me going to see the Palace but we were so poor and Swansea were so good, wish I hadn't bothered, still back in bed now taking tablets. Early night for me. No urges today.

 
Posted : 22nd September 2013 6:01 pm
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