Need serious help! My life is ruined

Nothing to do with you thinking you aren't a good person, it's the addiction. That's why addiction is so destructive! It reduces people to doing things they wouldnt do in there worse nightmare! As above, the chap saying he took his daughters money, it's the addiction. Ive managed to get myself into all kinds of financial problems. I'm sick to death of it! It's the not sleeping & worrying that effects my work the next day, then I go home & have to sleep due to lack of the night before. My missis comes home & see's me asleep at 6-7pm in the day/evening. WE / everyone is better rid of this horrible problem!

-

I just think other people who aren't going through this just look at me and think how selfish is she, how can she steal so much to gamble it all away. I don't even understand it myself! I would never have stolen before, I loved my job yet something took over and I kept taking more and more to the point where I took so much in one day just so I could get caught! I then confessed to my employer that night. I was hoping to win big and pay it all back but as everyone says, the game always wins!

It's hard as I have won big so I know it can be done! That's what draws me back! But I just can't withdraw it and be happy, I sit there until it's gone and then cry. I have looked in the mirror and Called myself so many names in anger but yet as soon as I get more money I do it again! It takes me away from day to day life and puts me in a sort of trance where I enjoy the game (until I lose) see - Now I'm justifying it? I don't know who I am anymore.

I really believe I will end up in prison and I can't leave my child 🙁 I know I should have thought about this before but i don't know what came over me! I need to do something before I crack up completely!

I have spoken to netline and I have Emailed the ARA for one to one sessions. I have closed my accounts and changed my bank account as the thought of seeing all those transactions makes me feel sick! Thousands gone an hour at a time 🙁 I don't even have money to buy anything nice for my baby now! I am a selfish person, I couldn't just be happy with what u had!

Even though my family and partner have stuck around and want to help I don't feel I can talk to them or be honest. It's hard to open up and admit what you have done. They don't know the full extent.

I can't wait until the day I get sentenced and can try and move on because until then I'm stuck with this worry and anxiety!

Gambling really does screw with are brians.

I watch a lot of true life crime programs.

And the amount of people who have killed to get there hands on money because of a gambling addiction

Is unreal.

What we have done Rach is bad but there are a lot worse then us and we can always redeam are selfs

-

It's mad isn't it that no matter how much you win you still don't claim it and walk away? How do people make a living off it? And how do others win the jackpot and then leave it? I started winning a few hundred and thought it was great! Then the bets got bigger and bigger. I should have known I had a problem as at Christmas time I won the £20k jackpot and didn't tell anyone! If I had won that on the lottery the year before the whole world would have known about it. By the time new year was here the money had gone! The courts Won't be on my side as its abuse of position and the amount I took over a long period of time. This past year has been such a blur! I worry about my mental state in future. I've read loads of stories where people go back to it years down the line. Now I have had the thrill and wins its what I want again. I used to enjoy life and be happy and value things, that's all changed. I'm miserable on edge and ashamed of myself.

I wish I knew what was going to happen to me 🙁

-

I just don't understand the process and the more I read online the more scared I get as all the stories similar to mine end up in prison! The police have it registered yet I haven't heard anything? I have admitted it all so they know i am guilty, surely they don't have to do any investigating? Also, how long does a court case usually take? I just need answers and I don't sleep at all over this. My baby is due and I'm worrying about being taken away! It's the biggest mess I have ever been in and I have no one to blame but myself!

-

I am in a similar position rach and done quite a bit of research.

How much did you take and over what period of time?

How much responsibility did you have in your job?

Any previous convictions?

What line of work is the company?

Was it a straight theft or was it concealed in any way to avoid detection?

All of these things will have a impact on your case.

I don't know the exact amount but probably around £40k over about 9 months? I was in a finance assistant position and just paid money into my account and made them out to be for other people. The account trusted me so when reconciling each month never questioned me. I was in my job for 4 years and loved it so much. This is why I don't get why I would do it? I was so desperate and it got out of hand. I haven't got any previous history of stealing or any other form of criminal record. The company is an events company but not national. I will go to prison won't I 🙁

*accountant

If you do a search of sentencing guidelines in relation to theft breach of trust you can work out your own culpability rating and what mitigating and aggravating factors you have. I think the starting point for sentencing on that amount is 2 years prison but will be reduced for early guilty plea, mitigating factors etc. You would also only serve 50% if you go to prison and your previous good character will help. I think you can also be released on licence early for good behaviour. Have a read and you can work out your own circumstances. And good luck, the hard bit is done by admitting what you have done.

Like i said Rach you need to offer to pay back the money in instalments if there is a court case

It really could be the difference between a custodial sentnce and probation.