Need to start all over!

Hi Awayout... as Smiler would say.. Abstain and maintain.

After a binge in my experince I find that I return to where i was financially within about 3 months (maybe less) and after 6 months (maybe less) I am in a position to maybe treat myself.

Whats done is done mate. Onwards my friend..onwards... S.A 🙂

Just calling in. Thanks SA .

Beautiful weather is helping a lot.

As regards debt and time the amount I lost in the last few big binges has cost me nearly 5 thousand. Which for me on a low wage will take a year at least (or a bit more) to return to where I was.

In all I think I owe just shy of 16k whereas before the recent relapses I was back to about 11k from an original gambling related debt of 25k.

What I have done has both shocked me and woken me up to the fact I am never 100% safe from gambling if I allow it in my life again..

I never want to return to binge gambling after a long period of abstinence, I never want to undo all the hard work and scrimping and saving again by gambling..

Everytime I return to gambling it just robs me dry in more ways than one. For example it is robbing me of a better future and having 'nice things', my time having to repay the debt and in gambling itself robs me of precious time.

Not wishing to sound morbid as I get older I hear more and more stories about seemingly healthy people just dropping dead, and that really makes you think do I want to still be a gambler if this should ever happen (hopefully not - touch wood)

Regards Awayout

Yo,

You sound even more determined than your last post , good for you !

All we can focus on is today , the dept will come down , all be it slowly .

In a years time , 2 years time , or 5 those good things you want to do there still be there .

If you were still gambling they would not .

Stay strong , the world is ours for the taking 🙂

Shiny xxxxxxx

This is month 65. Where I need to start my recovery for full gambling and debt recovery...

So have a count down of 65.

Your reply inspired me shiny so thanks!!

I have managed to pull the strings in so far this month after being so stupid with my money not only on gambling but other things.

Looking back at my huge gambling binge it was like a completely different person to who I am now. I still cannot believe how I managed to go back into 'gambling mode'

I will admit to feeling more bored not gambling but it is less stressful than the result of gambling.. so it is no longer logical to gamble it leads to more despair and worry over where the next few pennies are coming from.

It is a natural human instinct but I feel myself becoming a bit bitter with the amount I ahve lost and seeing other people enjoy their lives normally. I am also trying hard not to covet anything other people have

I just need to try and be happy with my lot so to speak..

Anyway it is a beautiful day so am going to do my uttermost to enjoy it.

At the moment I hate my boss who is a constant nag.. and inconsistent but I have to get on with trying to relax this weekend.

I did do a good thing this week and decluttered a bit, still a long way to go but a start!!

Here's to onwards and upwards!!!

Awayout

Hi Awayout... gambling never was logical the odds were always stacked against us.

I see your taking a leaf out of Nt's diary and starting a coutdown. Go for it matey, stick with it.. whatever works eh.

Like you say, enjoy the late summer warmth this weekend. Its free!

Onwards... S.A 🙂

Just for any onlookers this is a countdown of the months I am trying to give up gambling which will also lead me to being debt free over that number of months. So for anyone looking the number at the top relates to the number of months to go for me to reach my goal - to wipe the slate clean and be at the place I want to be!

This is the first full month of my 'countdown'

Somehow counting each day never works for me but seeing this is in bitesize months feels a lot easier for me rather than thinking of days or years.

#65 is going well, I have had the odd urges but I have not acted on them. I know it is always tougher in the early stages of giving up. It is especially difficult when there are times of boredom, often early- midday on a Saturday,, that is where the gloom can set in thinking of debt etc; and easy ways out. Gambling of course logically is not the easy way out but is still seems a tempter at time despite the financial and emotional havoc it has caused to my life...

A third through September already. I am trying to occupy myself with other things. I have the feeling as long as I get through month #65 unscathed I will be in a much better place..

Awayout

Countdown continues this is month 64. (2 month heavy gambling free), counting down to zero without addicted binge gambling should reach my goal.

I am still doing the lottery, but no bookies/online gambling.

Really should stop the lot I know...

Was on holiday a week last week and went into arcade in services which I regret, but had someone with me so did not spend more than £20

Just shows where there is an option to gamble ie; not self excluded I will always be tempted to gamble.

Nevertheless, it was a good holiday and gave me a rest from work and my home town has been a year since a proper holiday and I really enjoyed it.. Did so much

Have been budgeting hard and have managed to pay off a credit card which was beginning to build up from overspending rather than gambling which has made me feel focused again.. and feel like I have acheived something..

Still a long way to go but month #65 was largely successful

Awayout

Hi Awayout... I can understand continuing to play the lottery cos it brings that hope (albeit very remote) of a big win of a life changing amount of money. BUT are you able to stick to a £1 a week or whatever amount of money you set yourself??

For me I choose not to gambling on anything. When am tempted with the lottery... I just think I could buy a couple of juicy apples with that.. do ya know what i mean??

As for slots, arcades, bookies, casino's, online etc.. they are just the devils lair. Popping into a motorway services arcade is playing with the devil my friend... stay well clear. All the best.. S.A

Thought I had better call in to diary room.

I think I agree no gambling is the right direction. Problem is is my job involves selling lottery products everyday and this surrounds me with gambling I wish I was not immersed in it. Hence I am looking for another job.

Basically, I am constantly reminded of the lottery. In one way it can put me off playing as I see the sheer amount of desperation in people (like myself) looking for that one big win. Also the huge amount of people that lose ££££s every week. I even think if only they gave me that money they are wasting instead!!

However the flip side of the coin is that I see the occasional big win. For example last week a lady had a four figure prize and before I knew it I was buying a similar item in another shop..

I know that person spends a huge amount everyweek..so probably is still a big fat loser and an addict to boot..

You are right all these places including where I work are devil's lairs. I feel though I need to own up if I do a little bit of lottery here and there.

But I must think would I be sensible if I did win a few thousand? Especially given that I have spent many times that on gambling in general and on the lottery over the years...

It's a mugs game comes to mind!!

After my last big compulsive gambling binge in May - July it really is obvious I cannot afford to gamble in more ways than one. I bumped into a friend from years ago and he asked me the question whether I was loaded because I was living at home with parents. I decided to come clean and mention I had got in 'a spot of bother due to gambling' but I was fighting it. He looked a little shocked to say the least.. I also told him I was in debt rather than loaded, I had to swallow humble pie a bit as he was doing so much better than me as regarding career/relationships.

I am being more open and honest about my problem but there are still those who look down on you and talk to you with contempt if you mention gambling. As if it is more a weakness of human nature than a real addiciton/problem...

Awayout

I have a bit of time off and not loads of cash to be doing things. That can be dangerous.

Have been thinking about a flutter on the lottery which I know if I am going to stop gambling is not a good idea.

I have been staying off the 'big boy' type gambling online/bookies. But the lottery does seem to offer a remote hope for little outlay of a big win, but of course a £1 wasted on the lottery could be going on getting my debt down.. and before you know it you have spent 100s on the lottery which I most definitely have since it started.

Will try to stay off. I know it will be tough even for that £1 flutter, but it the long term it will be better to have a better mentality..

Don't seem to be able to focus today in a rare occasion of a day off. Might be the change in weather autumnal mood etc; maybe even a touch of depression about my situation.

I know things would get much worse if I go back to gambling though

Awayout

*nb for anyone reading, Month 64 is the number of months I am counting down staying off the dangerous types of heavy gambling that have got me into so much trouble over the years! Not the actual months I have stayed off the heavy gambling. Though I want to acheive this. By which time I should also be debt free and can make a fresh start in my life. It already feels like a fresh start staying out of the bookies and arcades on the highstreet and online.

November 2012 is Month 63 I am counting down, really proud that I have stayed off all heavy forms of gambling.

However, messed up yet again wasting money on spending on other things. I guess this is a reaction to having free money and feeling I need to do something with it, but not planning useful things to spend it on like a holiday goal for example.

The money should be going on getting the debt down.

I know the debt will gradually go down if I continue stopping the gambling and working and scrimping and saving rather than wasting any 'spare money' I have. God I hate being poor. I am know I am lucky to have food and a roof over my head but there never seems enough...

Now I am stopping the gambling again I see the energy in other people around me striving to acheive things and doing so, and it is an inspiration for me to change things.

Onwards and Upwards

Awayout

Hi Awayout... well done for staying off the heavy forms of gambling. I don't like being poor either but its my reality. Time to get back on the job search, find a job that pays a bit more. I too am looking for that energy to drive me forward to a better place. keep posting friend... S.A 🙂

Month 63. Still doing well all blocks in place.

The only 'good' thing about my big gambling blow out over a couple months this year May-July 2012 is that I now know I can never trust myself in the bookies/arcade/online ever!

One small bet in those places always leads me to bigger and bigger losses. All the good work I had done giving up and paying back some of the debt slowly was undone, and now I find myself back to where I was at the start of the year in terms of debt. At least things are no worse.. but things could of been a whole lot better without the gambling.

I would like to give it all up, but I still find myself tempted by the ludicrously small chance of a win of a few thousand on the lottery. I know it is stupid as each pound could help with the debt. I just find myself unable to stop and pulled in by the lottery each week as many people are.

The main thing is I am not going in the betting shops/arcades or betting online which has always led to disaster.

I dread the thought of my 4 figure overdraft being called in as I have no money to pay it. So I need to sort myself out.

There are other jobs on the horizon so I thing better pay is likely to help matters.

Awayout

Month 63, countdown.

Still doing well on the gambling front. Still wasting money on other things that could be going on debt repayment.

I am coming to realise that each £1 is precious, and can be used against the 'evil' of the debt that the evil of the gambling industry and gambling addiction has caused. To be honest when I was at the worst times in my life, I was gambling and it made me feel there was a insiduous evil in my veins and it has been so hard to get rid of.

The trouble with this addiction is that problem gamblers are allowed to continue to gamble even when they are sometimes self excluded or should be seen as problem gamblers. The industry is making a mockery of the illness by not giving more funding. Apparently they give just 0.1% of the profits each year, just a drop in the ocean. Especially when you consider the hundreds of thousands of people taht are becoming addicted to FOBT machines etc in bookmakers, and becoming problem gamblers.

Anyway feeling quite upbeat about Month 63 in my countdown. I am beginning to look for better jobs which I was hardly bothering to think about a couple of years ago. I am beginning to see sense and the reality of my situation and what happened to me, and where I am going.

Yes. I had a major hiccup with a couple of relapses this year but I still think I am heading in the right direction.

Feeling positive today

Awayout

Yo,

I think you are right , in respect of the direction .

Forwards never back as a very wise member of this site often says .

Keep on keeping only friend

Shiny xxxxx