new beginning

How will you change exactly ie what are you going to do differently? Don't say "stop gambling", I mean, what are you going to DO to break the triangle?

Honesty is vital for everyone else in recovery, why are you different?

Suggest you change your user name, it has negative implications. You're not about to be Toad of Toad Hall as long as you gamble. And even if you stop, why do you want to be Toad of Toad Hall? Read SirGambleNot's last post.

Can we now hear of some real progress please?

CW

Hello CW,

I already have a rather large barrier up. My good wife looks after my finances.

I have been honest on my diary so I am proud of that. Yes I have an ego and I do believe I'm a good person. The truth about it is I loved racing and the buzz. I saw it as entertainment. Entertainment costs money. But i fell out of love with gambling when i got in debt. So i am on here to change.

I am happy with my username and it has nothing to do with Toad of Toad of Toad Hall.

I am trying to make progress. Sorry if you find it negative. I find this site very helpfull. I am a positive person.

Good luck all on your recovery,
The optimistic Toad

Hi again toad

The rather large barrier you have in place is not working you needed to put other blocks in place don't carry cash or bank cards exclude from the places you keep going back to.

It works if we work at it

All of the back patting has been done so I would like to ask you to think about a few things.

When suggestions have been made that you self exclude - what is there to consider? (You said you would consider self excluding and after yesterday's slip you are obviously still only considering it)

What specifically will you do differently today?

Since September we have all been giving advice of methods to help you, what have you actually done, is your diary being written as a journal for you or do you want it to be a forum for advice to be sought? Advice is only of use I you decide to do something with it.

I feel for you toad but find it very frustrating that you seem to do the same thing every day and come back to tell us about it! You still refer to the "buzz" that gambling gave (gives) you. You also seem to try to deflect in your posts by using humour (what the hell are Gampeeps?) we can all have a laugh toad but recovery is a serious business and I think it's time for your diary to reflect that!

Break the triangle and remove the opportunity, give yourself a chance mate.

All the best.

Mrs. Toad doesn't deserve a medal, she deserves a husband who is actively working towards recovery. She has said she will leave you if you continue to gamble which indicates to me that she is very unhappy with the situation. Yet, as others have rightly pointed out, you carry on without barriers continuing to do the same things over and over. Covering your tracks so that you don't get caught doesn't make it ok. You can't win because you can't stop...you've proved this to yourself many times. Given that you keep repeating the same behaviours maybe you need to start asking yourself why?

LifeBegins x

Hello Gampeeps,

This Toad is hopping mad. Taking a few days away.

Angry Toad.

Frog it. I wasn't going to comment as it kind of seems pointless but here goes. If you want to gamble, gamble, I personally have no problem with that. But if you have a genuine desire to stop for your own wellbeing it's time to put some proper effort in. Attend GA, start being honest, put effective barriers on place to help you get started on the way or continue being the man you've always been. If gambling makes you happy carry on knock yourself out. If it doesn't there is an abundance of help available out there for you

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Agree entirely with dayatatime, this forum is an excellent place to come and get support. Everyone here will help you but can't do it for you. If you think being away for a while will help then do it, but when you come back start by telling us what you are going to do and how you want us to help you! If you decide to keep gambling then all the best for the future but when you want to stop then please come back.

Toad, be assured that gambling doesn't make you a bad person and equally, stopping won't change a bad person into a good one!

Take care.

Am confused by your definition of honesty. You're honest with the forum about lying to your wife? And that's positive?

Not good enough.

CW

Hi Cynical wife,

You certainly live up to your name that's for sure.

It's my personal journey so i record lies. I have come a long way. I am proud of what I have achieved in life. I just need to cut gambling out

You need to be more trusting in life CW. Come on we all know you can do better.

Toad

Sorry, don't understand why exactly I need to be more trusting?Please can you clarify?

CW

Hi Toad , I'm not gonna go back over old ground anymore but f,Fsake decide what you want from life ? , then make a plan and stick to it and not one bit of Rocket science involved !.

Having said that , I still wish you well buddy and will support you when you need it !.

Take care !

Alan

Toad,

You gambled today - again - and lied to your wife about it. Your barrier isn't working, nor do you want it to and thus far you refuse to change anything. You apparently believe that honestly telling the forum about your dishonesty to her resolves your lies. It doesn't.

Focus on these matters, as others have invited you to, and stop looking for smokescreens such as my cynicism.

CW

Hi Toad...

Oh man! Look what's going on..sad for you..sad for your wife and sad for other folks on here.

As many of us knows and i think that's where you are at now is complete denial of your actions. You're in the mist and no words will change that.
My last post on my diary carries exactly the same message...the message hidden behind it - frustration with yourself, deep negativity, feeling out of control, lost and angry at yourself. These feelings we preceive in different aspect - jokes, "positivity", arrogance...this is just a cover of true feelings - fear of being out of control and not knowing what to do to get things right.

I'm not angry with you, i want to help you. Please step back and have a think. You are clearly putting your marriage on the line also :-/...do you think it will pan out better if she finds out your lies herself? Luck has run out long ago Toad...take control back in ur hands - accept the defeat and be honest.

All the best...I'm with you all the way - stay in recovery.

Sandra x

Toad,

For what it's worth, I wish you well. Others who have bothered to post here have all said the same.

But for your own sake, rethink.

CW