new beginning

Morning Cynical wife,

Thankyou for your advice. I have to get some photographs this week.

I read your diary CW and i'm glad your husband is doing better. I hope things stay good for both of you.

Big row with the wife on friday night as I wanted to manage my money. So i was told to chose between later or leave. So the next day I stayed.

It's called tough love.

But I do get it. And I know I am not ready to manage large sums of cash.

So today I will not gamble. Stop backing horses. Stop feeding fobts. Stop backing greyhounds.

Never stop believing.

Toad.

So Toad, despite the argument you still haven't physically made the effort to get photos and self exclude today? Also you state that you are not ready to handle large sums of cash - last week you went to the bookies with £10 so I assume you class a large sum as less than that?

If you have a phone (or anyone at work does) take a picture of yourself and email it to you! Print it off an spend this lunchtime in the bookies .... Self excluding. There is absolutely no reason why you wouldn't do this straight away, . . unless of course you don't want to?

Come on toad make the effort and make it easier on yourself!

Hello Sbisstopping,

The truth is I have £80 with me today which I don't need.

I do have to buy lunch.

Am I ready to self exclude where I work. Truthfully no. I want to have the willpower to not go in. And if i do go in I can do small bet.

Maybe I will never quit gambling. I really don't know.

I am finding it hard to quit.

Toad

That is the pull of addiction Toad! I suspect if she had turned the finances over you would have been begging her to take them back this evening! My mum has been in your position for years...Wants me to have her cards after a big loss, then if she can't manipulate me into giving them back, reports them missing or takes money out of her account anyway. I can't divorce my mother!

I am also unnerved by the need to get photos 'this week'! How much do you have on you today? £5 is enough to get proper ones done but as above, they will accept photocopies/prints! I did what you are doing for years...Everyday I promised myself I was going to stop but as soon as I had money again there I was stood back in front of a machine (usually after a long drive to find one I wasn't excluded from) throwing more away!

Only you can make this stop - ODAAT

Grrrr, I must have been posting whilst you were writing! Finally a bit of honesty from you Toad...You are not ready to quit! You don't want to be able to quit on willpower alone, aside from knowing that you can't, the only thing you're interesting in quitting @ the moment is losing! Well I wont be planning on wasting anymore time on this diary for a while!

Don't kid yourself that your wife is looking after your finances either, she is just doing damage limitation & I for one really feel for her, I hope she is getting support from somewhere! Don't do this to her, don't do it to yourself...Listen to the advice you have been given before you lose everything!

Hi Toad, I refer back to my posts in September - I don't think you are ready to stop. Might be worth you reading back through your diary and reviewing some of your own posts, nothing has changed! It's over to you Toad.

Whatever you decide to do I wish you well.

Regards

Hello Sbissstopping,

I disagree. I have come a long way. It is up to Toad. Life is just beginning.

Optimistic Toad.

I hope you don't have children listening to you having a temper tantrum at your wife. That was a turning point for me - absolutely not acceptable.

You seem to want to be free to gamble from the comfort of your home and marriage. You'll probably get away with it for a while but read some more of the f&f posts; initially we try to help but eventually patience runs out.

It's a real shame all round.

CW

Hello CW,

We don't have kids. It would be nice to have more positive comments lately. I feel disappointed as some people are very negative with Toad.

In addition I don't do online gambling in the comfort of my home. I am not a member of an online gambling site.

Let's get factual !!

I will get there slowly.

Toad believes

Toad,

The positive comments are reserved for fellow forum members who do their utmost to seek recovery.

Carry on as you are and sooner or later you'll have no home or marriage to go back to after you're done at the bookies.

CW

Toad, your last post confirms my thinking that this is all one big joke to you. You still refer to Toad in the third person - is he an alter-ego?

You cannot play at recovery and I find your flippant attitude very disrespectful to others on this forum.

Happy to advise that I won't be posting any more "unpositive" comments, in fact, you will be pleased to know that I wont be posting any more comments on your diary at all.

Still wishing you well.

Ok bud keep Posting and u will keep reading. You can't beat thus with will power I personally have tried the positive posts putting my arm round you so to speak but that doesn't work so what you call negative posts i would call the hard honest truth and that's not working.

I consider helping others as part of my recovery and I don't want to give up on you but I can only tell you the same thing so many times.

Until I see the Same commitment I prepared to give you I don't think I can help you anymore all the advice you need is in your diary already.

It cuts me up having to say that all the best and I hope you can see the light and that £80 makes it home

KTF but I'm starting lose mine a bit

Hai Toad...

Your a top man.
Your wonderful.
Your tackling this addiction, just how we all should be..

Now how's that for positivity? Or wouldn't it be more beneficial to hear it as it is?

The thing is Toad, we all know the voice in our addictive head lies. It easy to say this time next Tuesday, we're going to give up for good. It's understanding it's just a crock of S***e telling yourself this..

Will power alone doesn't work, I soo wish it did.....Honesty and understanding this sly addiction does, time to reintegrate back into the human race.

Wishing you well

Gampeeps,

What is this? National gang up on toad Day???

Give me a break.
Toad

Hi Toad,

£80 for lunch??!! :-0 wow, are you having 3 course meal 5 times a day? :-)))
Even if all of this cash won't make home, i hope a lovely bouquet of flowers will reach your wife & again tommorow...and just maybe for a week ahead. What about that! (Spare fiver for those photos, it will give you huge relief!)

I'm not a positive person so sorry but cannot uplift your spirits and can't lie i can see you progressing just yet :-(...but im the same, so ya know how you feel.
You can do it, of course you can, but need a little more determination and actual actions to get there...now this applies to me also :-)..ya see, found something in common here.

Really hope your missus is ok. Why not to have 1 to 1 tonight and explain her how your feel? Worth a go & just maybe that stone will become a little lighter to carry!

Stay safe - make right choices..every lil counts.

S x