new beginning

So you gambled today? Thought you were off work?

re Post 908, tomorrow never comes.

Paul , look fella ! We all really shouldn't be on your back all the time like this but can you not see for one minute how frustrated it makes everyone who cares and supports you feel,it's the fact that you really make no effort to put in place the simple things that would keep you safe ? I still sometimes wonder if you do this for fun just to get a reaction or you genuinely want to stop what your doing ? Your post's seem to make no sense at all sometimes and are even quite contradictory at others .

Please just start sorting yourself out my friend and do what makes you happy , to gamble or not ?.

Hi Alan and all,

Thanks for your posts. I am definately self excluding tomorrow.

Toad.

Toad

You said you don't have time to read your dairy but you have time to kill so go into a bookies and gamble!

You said that tomorrow you will self exclude from the final bookies but you have gambled in 2 different ones yesterday alone.

Just put us out of our misery Toad, tell us the truth as all your posts are getting jumbled and nothing matches up. its ok if you want to keep on gambling but just admit it and we can all move on. If you are ready to stop then it requires commitment and effort - if you feel so much desire at you cant walk past a bookies with 30p in your pocket then maybe you need to seek more support than you wil get here alone.

Still wishing you well...

Hello Deano,

Thankyou your post was positive and interesting. I know i have more progress to make.

Thanks again Deano.
Toad

Well said sbisstopping. The truth, spoken in times of deceit, is a revolutionary act. Kind regards, Fred.

Hi all,

Alwaysontime you should start a diary. I'm sure you could express your opinions more.

Anyway.

We move into our new house 15th july. What a great opportunity to put my gambling life behind me.
I have some practice to do before then. I won't gamble after 15th July.

I need gampeeps advice. Should i shread the 5 years bank statements i have with online gambling on it? Or keep them to remind me of the horrors of gambling.

Discuss.....

Anyway.

I'm hopping downstairs for a coffee. Croaking out.

Toad.

The concern isn't when you move into the house, Paul. It's when and how you will be forced to move out of it.

I'd suggest that you and your wife have a thorough read of the bank statements together and then consider together what shredding them will achieve.

CW

So just clarify - are you now saying that you will stop on 15th July but in the meantime you will "practice" - what do you mean by "practice" Toad? To me it sounds like you have just given yourself permission to gamble up until you move?

Also, I am not sure what a Gampeep is but agree with CW - ask your wife what she wants to do with them.

Hi cynical wife and sbisstopping,

They are my single bank account statements so there is no reason for me to show them to my wife. ( again)

Gampeeps was short for Gamcare peoples. Basically people who use gamcare.

I meant practice abstaining from gambling.

I forgot my photos for self exclusion although i just have £5 with me. I make no excuses that is pretty dire of me as today was the day i promised to self exclude.
I accept any criticism for that.

On a positive note i won't be having alcohol till xmas. Looking after my health more.

Can i just add. I have noticed a common theme with gampeeps including myself. I have drawn up a list of narratives after reading peoples comments on my diary. These people are :-

Impatient
Have a short fuse
Angry
Pushy
Negative

I know people are only trying to help but i believe their gambling experience creates these traits in their personality. I'm not saying all people, just some.

That is toads sermon for the day.
Back on the lilly pad
Toad.

You are right toad. After 8 months of offering you support and advice, my patience has now run out. As I have such a short fuse, i am angry at myself by being drawn in and wasting my time on someone who really doesn't want to stop and just consistently cries for help with no intention of helping themself.

I will be totally honest. Another trait of a CG is the desire to win - from early I your diary I believed that you were just here to have fun and I rather hoped that by now I would "win" by being proven right. I really hoped that you would admit that you don't really want to stop but just like the attention - then I would move on. The good news is that I haven't gambled for over a year and I am sat here laughing at myself - I don't need to win any more. I will therefore move on and leave you to your diary of deceit and inconsistency and your future of gambling. I just feel so sorry for your poor wife - if only she knew.....

Time for me to have a "new beginning".

Hey toad...
You really do make things hard for yourself my love...but that's probally because your not ready to fight this addiction yet...I arrived on this site 147 days ago on the bones of my b**t...I read...I asked...I listened...I broke the triangle...I got blocks in place to keep me safe. ...but most of all I worked dam hard day and night to fight this addiction. ...and I still do....and I always will....why ?. ..because I WANT TO !
I truley hope that one day you to will feel the joy I now do....take care ..x

Thanks Loxxie,

Sbisstopping don't feel sorry for my wife. I find that insulting. She is lucky to have me and yes i am lucky to have her.

We have come through tough times and stood by each other.

She has patience! I don't want to get personal so good luck on your journey sbisstopping. Thankyou for your advice and support.

We can all beat this.

Let's hop over the bookies hurdles.

Hop over lifes problems

Hop and be happy

Let's hop.

Toad.

Morning Paul , Can I just say how dissapointed I am with your last post , I actually posted to another diarist last night justifying why I felt I needed to keep offering support to you and spoke of not wanting to give up on people and that maybe some day they would " Get it " !. I then come on this morning in the hope of you maybe seeing a bit of sense but instead am greeted with you once again making lame excuses why the time is still not right for you to self exclude or even give up gambling ,on top of which you add insult to injury by compiling a list of what poor old Paul/Toad or whatever you are this week , criticising what you feel are other peoples faults when they kindly spend there time posting to you .

Maybe if you looked to yourself and stopped hiding behind the mask of Toad , you would man up and take responsibilities for your own actions ?

I can't keep offering support to someone that clearly has no use for it , so will leave it there and draw a line under the whole sorry episode , I wish you well and hope that one day you find what you seek ?

Ps , two more words for your list .

1 , Peed off !

2, Mug !.