new beginning

gambler.toad,

I won't start a diary, simply because I no longer have the compulsion to bet every day. I don't care who won which race, who trained it, rode it, or the odds of reward. I didn't arrive here off the back of a major financial disaster, I simply grew tired of gambling, after almost forty five years, and feel that by signing in here, and reading other gamblers stories, it would help remind me of the hurt and misery my 'hobby' continues to cause. I don't mean this voyeuristically, as I have been afflicted with the same compulsion as every other contributor on here. The compulsion may return but, as things stand, I am in control of things. You are using this forum for your own motives, and it's as clear as crystal to me and, from what I've read, to other recent contributors, what those are; you're fooling no one except yourself. From what I've gleaned from this thread, you'll rationalise this - if you have the time to read it - to the extent that the fault won't lay with you at all, and that everything will be fine tomorrow, the day after, the 15th of July (you omitted to mention to which year this date applied), or whatever the next moveable deadline may be. As I see things, you're a self promoting, attention seeking, time waster; a lost cause badly in need of a lesson in humility. I won't be reading this thread again, so there's no need to respond; though I strongly suspect you shall. Kind regards, Fred.

My husband also jumped through hoops to manipulate me into not enquiringly about his financial position. He also insisted on his privacy to hide the gambling. One of the tools he used was anger to make me back off.

In our new honesty based relationship, finances are held in my name but there are no secrets. Much better and a basis for long term security.

Your wife is going to get a horrible shock.

CW

Sorry for being pedantic but on your profile page it says you haven't gambled for 262 days which is obviously c***P right?

Hi Phil_72

What do you think? Do the maths.

Give me strength.

On that note. Toad will draw from his inner strength. I believe in myself. I want to thank the positive Gampeeps. The rest can go into the bookies with the other vipers.

Have a good day.
Toad.

The "other vipers" are those who are making serious attempts to stop and doing something about it instead of having a pop.

If you want to stop then try properly. If you cant take criticism dont post

If not this forum is not for you.

I did the maths which is why I asked the question. It seems to me that the "positive Gampeeps" are simply saying what you want to hear and the people being honest and trying to be helpful are negative in your view.

I don't know about the other "vipers" but I have no desire to go into a bookies today thank you very much.

Hi Balvaird,

This forum is for me. I belong here. It has been my home the last few months.

The staff at gamcare are excellent.

Some of the users are helpful and offer support whilst others can be abusive.

I am not on here to offend. This is my diary and it has helped me to a better place. Yes i have not completed my mission. I will though.

I bring positivity to the forum and hope for people badly addicted like i used to be. I don't spend a fraction of the time gambling like i used to. I know there is more work to do and that is why am here.

The vipers know who they are. I am safe on my lily pad. The vipers can stay in their nests or baskets.
I won't take abuse lying down. Toad has fire in his belly.

I am stronger. Like the boy that was bullied i came back fighting.

Toad.

Use the fire to stop gambling then. Not to make daily excuses

Having looked at the last few pages it doesn't seem to me that people have been abusive to you at all. I just sense a lot of frustration at the things you post and the lack of appreciation for the advice you have received.

Phil,

re: above post.
I refer to your post #930

You have a short memory.

Don't waste your time on my diary just focus on your own.

My voice is sore today. I have been croaking too much. I have got a real rib-bitting today so i shall hop away for the day.

Toad.

PS I am an amphibian not I am fibbing

I will focus on my own which is about not gambling one day at a time and not about making ridiculous comments like I ate my lunch in the bookies because it was warm.

Hey Guy's Somebody once said to me " You can't argue with stupid " admitedly they were probably talking about me but over time thankfully I learn't to change ! .

" God , grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change ,

Courage to change the things I can,

And Wisdom to know the difference ".

Does that make me a Viper ?

Hi Folks,

Not good news on the IVF front. Unlikely things may progress. It puts it all into perspective.

Toad.

Sorry to read that toad. ..
Although "unlikely to proceed "could be down to several reasons...anyway...it's still a negative in your eyes....how about turning it into a posative and say " maybe it's not the right time in our lifes at the moment "...some things always happen for a reason ! x

Hello Loxie,

Thankyou for your kind words. I had a wee bit of time to think about things on the way home on the bus.

I have arrived home and i feel quite nervous.

I was on anti depressants for 6 months and beta blockers for a year. I have diazapam for an emergency. I liked a bet and i drank too much.

The turning point came on Tuesday. I had stopped my anti depressants. I was throwing up all day Tuesday. What have i decided :-

Quitting drink 6 months as my liver result came back borderline and it scared me.

Quit anti depressants.

Quit beta blockers.

I have also decided to take a break from my Gamcare diary.
I realise it hasn't been great and I want to come back after a break and try again. Of course on my break i don't aim to gamble.

Things in life can get a bit tough. I am feeling a bit stressed.

Toad is just jumping off his lilly pad and he will be back. I'm just swimming to a new lilly pad further down stream. I dream of a better day and I just want me and wife to be happy aswell as family and friends.

Right now i need to get myself feeling well. This week i've been sick, nausea and a light head.

The air is fresher down stream. I see the lily pad in the distance. I'm swimming now. The water is luke warm and I should reach the new lily pad on 15th July 2016.

i wish you all the best luck in your recovery. If anything my diary illustrates how tough i have found this addiction is to beat.

Bye for now. SEE YOU ALL 15.07.16

Toad.