new beginning

Hi toad
Come on man have a word with yourself. It's good you didn't take the 500, but has it really got to the stage of being congratulated for not stealing money from your wife? You're better than that.

You can be whoever you want to be. Might take commitment but you can do it.

Best wishes
Louis

Hello Cardhue,

I did have a word with myself and seen sense. I haven't resorted to theft but i was being honest i was tempted to gamble.

My wife come home tonight and i told her I had gambling urges and to hide the money. I don't trust myself but i did not steal.

I hope i don't sound like a bad person. I am a good person with a weakness.

Toad

Louis wasn't saying you were a bad person. He was saying the post was pretty f***k ed up expecting praise for not stealing from your wife again

​

Hi toad
Absolutely, you sound like a good person- who's struggling (don't think 'weakness' helps).
That's why I bothered. I know from experience, when in addiction our behaviour becomes detached from our values. When you stop gambling, you get perspective again. That's what I'm trying to give you.
That's great you took those positive steps.
Have a great xmas
Louis

Thankyou cardhue,

Sorry i just a bit sensitive about gambling. But hey i need to do the right thing and go down the right path in life.

Toad

Toad, are you still using the same bookies? I appreciate you have limited access to cash but what other barriers are up? I thought you were self excluded?

You're gonna feel sensitive & sad & frustrated, that's all part of the losses but it wasn't that long ago you wanted to handle your own finances! You need to try stuff that is going to help you abstain, not enable you to get in more mess! The money you had in savings has gone, the only way to get it back is to work hard & don't give any more away, if you don't draw a line & fast, the positive balance you had will become a negative one & believe me, that hurts like hell!

It's going to take a lot of hard work on your behalf but you must have learned something in counselling & there is advice all over this site...You must keep trying different things because the downward spiral won't stop itself!

Why don't you focus your attention & give yourself the best present ever...Recovery! It is possible - ODAAT

Hello folks,

I slipped today. But i won £130. I know i shouldn't feel happy but i do. Get some cash back of the bookies.

But i need to stop. I will try again.

Toad

Hi toad , have you really one £130 ?, or is it just more money to fuel the addiction ?.

Nothing changes if you don't change it ! , Same shiiiit , different day my friend ?.

Toad, toad, toad. What do you want - a medal???

Come on now. You have been given fab support and encouragement to stop gambling over the last few months but hey you are still doing it.

How about some posts about your barriers, your plans for not gambling, how you are going to change your life around from being a gambling addict.

I have 're- read through your diary. You can do it. Not sure if you really want to. Alan's post above is spot on.

You might not like what I am saying or how I am saying it but it's the truth.

Maybe 2016 will work for you Toad.

Show us all you can do it.

Best wishes

Lets be honest toad you've not won you've just been loaned back a bit of what you have lost the last time and the time before that you slipped.

I admire your determination and honesty I have read back though your diary and you have been given some great support and advise but seem to have taken very little onboard.

Look I don't mean to be harsh but reading your diary I'm as frustrated as you.

Enjoy you win with your wife and make it the last one

Toad, something tells me through reading your last 3 posts, that you are still playing at this horrendous self destructing addiction.

Yes my friend you won 130 back, but how much did you deposit to get 130. and you know deep down, if you are not committed to your recovery, it will all go back in and some more. When I won, and withdrew, I was on hot bricks wanting to play it back in 🙁

and only on very rare occasions did I manage to have the withdrawal processed, but even then I could not wait for it go into my bank account so I could deposit again????

It's very hard to win some money back and keep it.(that's why we are CGs and that is why we can't gamble)

Keep very strong now, time to abstain and maintain,

Suzanne xx

Hi Alan, balvaird,oldhamktf and I wished,

I want to thank everyone for their harsh but constructive comments. I do appreciate this site and i am being honest. But as of tomorrow I am quitting. I see a counselor on 4th january 16. This counseling has been ongoing since 2013.

There are issues here with my gambling. I am not being honest with myself and my wife.

I will work on this again. I count myself lucky as i am nearly out of debt. I owe £100. I was in debt for 13 years.

Now if i don't stop i will owe 18k like i used to owe. I used to lie awake at night worrying. Do i need to gamble? No i don't. My counseler told me i'm a nice guy who has everything and no need to gamble. I agree but i have this weakness.

I need to get to the bank tomorrow and lodge this cash. As we all know when we get a buzz from winning we want that feeling again. I know that myself.

I was going to take control of my finances in january but i'm not sure if i should. Not having access to wages and rental income from a property means i won't do my plums in. I need this barrier.

Anyway i have waffled on. Tomorrow is day 1. I want to thank you all for good advice i am listening. I just need to take action now.

All the best folks in your recovery,

Toad at the crossroads yet again.

Toad,

Run away if you must, but from whom? The forum, maybe, but not from yourself.

You know that you can do better.

CW

Hi toad,

I do hope you are not quitting the forum, it really is a great tool, to help us along, we all need all the support we can get, whether we are day 1 or 10001, recovery is an ongoing process,

Sending you strong and positive thoughts, to abstain and maintain 🙂

Suzanne xxx

Hi toad, early on in your diary you were talking about "walking away winning" and I challenged whether you were ready to stop. It appears to me that you still face the same challenges which suggests you have yet to put effective barriers in place and fully commit to abstinence! I don't like to be reminded of this "buzz you get from winning" but do hope you use this forum to help you through the challenges. As you state, you are at another set of crossroads and all the forum posts in the world can advise on which route to take but remember, only you can actually decide which way to turn!. Choose wisely my friend!