New Beginning.

Sir Stephen this things happens for a reason . There’s always a positive outcome from a negative event . You’ve always been a helpful and caring man for all of us ! We’re all here to support you . What’s done is done , I’m sure you’re stronger this time .

Sars

You’ve had one blip in 6 months.

Now, I don’t know you personally, but I’m going to take a punt (a non gambling one...) on this being a marked improvement on the previous 6 months?

It’s big progress, Stephen.

You’re heading in the right direction. Most wouldn’t have come back so soon but you’ve proved what a determined little fighter you are and you’ve come back scrapping. That shows great strength and character.

You know gambling is a disaster waiting to happen and you’ve done the right thing in coming back.

Well done.

Let’s finish off the year strongly and enjoy a gamble free Christmas.

Moorey

Thankyou Christer, Breakfree, Sars & Moorey. I appreciate your support and good advice. I count myself fortunate to be back amongst friends in the diaries.

I am now more determined than ever to stop gambling. I have a vivid picture of myself looking ludicrous as I fed money into them machines and than my pathetic departure from the betting shop with my head down cursing myself. I'm not putting myself through that ever again....Onwards & Upwards.

My song choice today is. Another One Bites The Dust by Queen.

Hi Stephen,

Firstly, full kudos for being honest and upfront about your relapse. Secondly, you have recognised, immediately, that you've got to go straight back onto the wagon, that there's no other way. And thirdly, it's fantastic to read how you've responded to this. You've beat yourself up a bit, and I don't think that's a bad thing, actually (some may disagree...). But I think It shows you care.

Whilst you're starting the Challenge back on Day 0 I won't show the days, Stephen, and will just keep an 'invisible' count as, and I'm sure you will, climb back up the ranks.

If a fall's going to happen - and sometimes it does - it's how we respond that matters.

So... no need to beat yourself up anymore. Time to dust yourself down, head held high, with two fingers stoutly raised to the gambling devil as you stride away, you're back, joining us in the gambling-free world.

Welcome back, Stephen! It's a pleasure, a real joy, to have you back with us!

Hi Stephen.

I’m a long time reader of the recovery diaries. Can also spot a potential relapse about to happen.

It’s usually written in the tone of the persons posts, even if they don’t know it yet. Sounds weird I know.

In 99 percent of relapses first thing to go is their day count. To me that signifies a relapse has either happened or in motion.

I know you looked at your day count as a hindrance, but what it signified was growth.

Unfortunately addiction isn’t something you can just move on from and forget ever happened. Recovery Needs to be a constant.

Addiction can and will remain dormant. Give it an inch it will take a mile.

You don’t see people at ga or like who’ve been there 20 years constantly because it’s a fun place to be. It’s because they need to constantly work the program to stay ahead of the game.

You’ve been like a breath of fresh air since you joined the forum Stephen and you helped a lot of people along the way. And I can see this relapse has hitten you hard , so try to find the positive in the negative. You went 6 months. You now have a goal, 6 months and beyond.

Chin up Stephen ,

Hi Stephen. You are a brave man and have taken this relapse firmly on the chin. Like you say - it was a moment that you can't really explain. But what's done is done. However it's NOT like starting all over again. You have gained wisdom, knowledge and have defence mechanisms in place.

When my friend got injured whilst training to run a half marathon he became despondent as he considered his training program to be off course. I commented that actually all the months of hard work he'd already put in could be deemed as 'banked'. You cannot simply disregard the changes which have been made!

Looking forward with optimism as I'm sure you will, it may be constructive to analyse why you gambled and consider self-exclusion. All the best mate.

Only just read your post Stephen. Sending you a great big hug.
Never give up. So proud of your achievements so far and I know they'll continue into the future xx

Hi Stephen,

well done for posting about your lapse and well done for dusting yourself off and moving on.

Lapses are part of the journey, it just comes down to how you deal with them. And it appears you ahve been doing the right thing - step back, talk about it, reflect and learn.

Keep up the excellent work.

All the best,

Eva

Forum Admin

When you was a bit down and said you wanted to stop counting days I wondered if that was the Gambling Mind whispering to you. I personally will always count the days as everyday I want to stick my fingers up to Gambling by counting numbers in a good way and not by a section a zero or lucky numbers, my numbers indicate another day of telling gambling to f**k off out of my life you swamp leech. It hooked you but you shook it off and I know you'll realize when you see that hook again not too bite.

‭Shut the door Stephen...

MOSES: 0800 294 2060‬

Sorry to hear you broke out mate but good to see you right back in the ranks where you belong! Addiction has taken enough now...Time to leave it in your past & get back to living again - ODAAT

Thankyou Mixer, Josh, Changemylife, Little Miss Lost, Eva (Forum Admin), Smashed & Odaat. I really appreciate the support and advice. I will frequently reread these early posts, as a reminder of our solidarity and also, as a warning not to lose my way again.

I am at a lunch tomorrow celebrating my Auntie's 80th and on wednesday travel to Surrey to help celebrate my sisters 70th. It really wouldn't do to spoil the celebrations by saying I had been gambling again. Last night my friend lent me money to tide me over, she is worried in case I gamble with it but I feel confident that is not going to happen. I can say with all honesty I have no intention or desire to gamble, but in the early hours of this morning I did wake up twice dreaming I was gambling on a fobt machine. I must be on my guard against the enemy within.

It is now day 2 gamble free and am totally committed to not gambling. My gambling episode was stupid and irresponsible but it was just a blip on my journey to freedom. I am back on the recovery road shoulder to shoulder with my GamCare friends.

I hope you have a great time at these birthday parties - you bloody enjoy 'em Stephen.

You are so honest my friend.

We're all here for you and hope to encourage and help in our own way. I reiterate - your honesty is amazing - a lot of people aren't.

Im not going to ask you about motivation/incentive to bet but please believe me a lot of people on this forum have had kind and considerate advice and kindness from you including me.Thank you.

Best wishes, Phil.

Thanks Mixer. Hope your having a good weekend.

I have had no problems today, went to the gym for a swim and did some college homework. The relapse is behind me now and I'm determined not to let it happen again. Heading for Guru and 500 days gamble free. I think I will keep counting the days at least until I reach that target.

Thanks Phil, I really appreciate the support and will frequently re-read these early posts if ever I feel vulnerable.

Hope everyone's having a good gamble free weekend. Stephen

Hey Stephen. You are already a Guru in my mind. Sitting there in an open cave next to a flickering flame. With your big grey whispy beard, acoustic guitar and a happy smiling face. None of us are perfect, but we strive on in the face of adversity.