New Life!

Dear New Mike,

We are pleased that you have come to the forum, we hope it will be a source of support and some comfort. It sounds as though it is a very tough time for you and your family. We support all of you and anyone else who is affected by gambling.  You sound determined to make some positive changes.  In case you are not aware we offer free treatment for problem gambling. You can speak to an adviser on our helpline or netline  for one to one support and to discuss  treatment options. Ensure that you have something in place regarding any savings and for future wages etc. Involving others to help you manage your money or take control of your money are what some of our forum members do to protect themselves.  

We hope that gradually you come out of the dark place that you find yourself in. Keep posting!

Best Wishes

Forum Admin

Thank you for the nice words Admin. 

Hi new life , I’m new in here, spent thousands and have nothing to show for it only a feeling that I wanted only to do good but I put my time and effort into something that would not do  anything in return for me. I thought I would strike lucky and win big and all my problems would be answered but it never happened. I realised that as a kid I wanted to make my mum proud and put a smile on her face as she was always unhappy. I now know that was not my responsibility as a child but whenever there was a problem I would try to make things better and bring the help somehow. Gambling fools us into thinking it will help if we follow certain rules. We stick to the rules and do everything we are told by the casinos and in turn we get nothing but we keep on trying to get them to see we are good for it and that they will see this quality we have and reward us. It’s just not set up like that and although they may give us small gifts to say thank you it’s not enough of a deal they have made with us. In reality they never close down or go bust like we do, they never allow you to walk away feeling good that you did your best they leave you with nothing and make you feel rubbish. Firstly your not rubbish and you put your life and sole into the contract and now its time to see it for what it is, a con which saw your gullibility and took advantage of it. Stop today and realise that you are a good person who tried to do good but you choose the wrong business partner. Your hunger to succeed in life was abused by this system and that you won’t allow it anymore. People won’t believe you at first but in time once you start to believe in yourself you will show others around you that you are serious and with the same qualities you once had before they were taken advantage of by these gambling places you will get your life back on track. We are all sometimes taken in by things that seem too good to be true and gambling is one of them. From now in do not let anyone or anything take advantage of you even if you think your chances may look good unless you are sure you are going to come out unscathed don’t do it. Gambling is not to be repeated like going to work or spending time with loved ones it’s not going to give you anything but leave you with nothing and it’s now time for you to treat it in the same way giving it nothing, not your money , your time or your thoughts. Good luck my friend I know you can turn it around and give yourself what you deserve one day at a time. Each moment you don’t waste any more money and time on gambling is a step forward to your new life.  

Good luck pal.its the fight of your life, go win it.

Thanks Holycrosser.

I know is hard as I have been fighting this for a long time but is the first time I have admitted and seek for professional help.

Good Luck you can do this 

Evening everyone,

So first day of recovery started today! All good ATM but I had a really long day and I am knackered.i drove 200 miles to have my first meeting with a psychologist and went really well.i will post more tomorrow as my eyes are slowly closing. #staystrong

Hi

The recovery program helped me help myself recognize that my addictions and obsessions were not healthy.

When in action I was burying and suppressing my feelings and my emotions.

The recovery program helped me set up healthy boundaries.

The recovery program helped me understand that I was emotionally vulnerable long before my first bet or my  first drink.

The recovery program helped me understand my emotional triggers.

My emotional triggers were my pains my fears my frustrations my loneliness and my boredom.

Yet why my reluctance to admit to myself and other I was emotionally vulnerable.

Why my reluctance to ask for help.

Why my reluctance to use the telephone list.

Why my reluctance to exchange unhealthy habits in to healthy habits.

Why my reluctance to put more time and effort in to my recovery.

I am a non religious person.

Yet I embrace spiritual values.

Today I am a very selfish person.

The recovery program helped me understand that talking about money lost was not helping me.

The recovery program helped me understand that talking about being in action was not helping me.

The recovery program helped me understand that talking living in the past was not helping me.

The recovery program helped me understand that living in past stunted my growth today.

My anger told me that my hurt inner child was not healed.

My own resentments told me that my hurt inner child was not healed.

How much time and effort am I willing to put in to my recovery.

How much do I put in myself today.

When does the self abuse end and my recovery start.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham.

Hi all,

So a bit of update of how things went in the past few days.

So on Thursday I went to see a psychologist and after 1 and half h session we agree to go and see her every month and have a Skype session every week. It helped me a lot just by saying everything I had on my chest as I never used to speak with anyone about my problems...I do believe she can help and she told me things I never knew existed in me 🙂 I gambling free since Thursday and I feel really positive about that ..I think i try and keep like that so I can be proud when I go on Skype and say to her I have not gambled. My wife let me leave in the house after a few night at my friend's house but she is still determined to start a new life without me.I feel like I can win her back if obviously I quit gambling as I love her and she loves me. Is now 4 days GF and feel great ..I had 7 quid in my pocket today and my wife was at work gambling was in my head but I went and bought some ice-cream for me and my kids and enjoyed eating that in the park ...is a long way to go but i feel everything is possible . From next week I will have a second job so money will not be a problem I am just trying to keep myself busy and show my wife I am willing to change once and for all. Hope everyone is keeping strong. If I can do it everybody can that's for sure! #staystrong

Hi all,

Today was a good day ... really busy at work so gambling was out of my head....managed to spare £20 and I made a payment on my credit card.

Finished work at 15:00 and then decided to go out in the rain with the kids to jump in the mudy puddles for a good hour ,lots of fun and my heart was full of joy. Now getting some dinner and then a movie with the kids. I wish all days where like that and now starting to realize how much precious time I lost gambling. 5 days GF and counting! #Staystrong

Lots of love from Mike

Day 6 of GF I here I am trying to keep busy at work as usual. Looking forward to my Skype session with the psychologist tomorrow at 09:00 and I should be proud of myself that I went a week without gambling. Still in early days but God I have a good feeling inside me .

#Staystrong