New Start, new me…

Stay strong you got this. I understand how you feel cos no one understands it even when your try explaining…all the best and hopefully you pull through 

You can stop if you want to be strong take each day one by one, best wishes

It’s very tough when we strive to do better for ourselves and our families with the help of us on here and all of the systems set up in this modern world we should count our selves lucky

Always take each days as it comes. I wake up every day and tell myself "Just for today I will not gamble" - Its worked for me. If you feel you're struggling with the addiction you should seek help. 

For me when I gambled. I could have won xxxx and it still would never be enough. The danger was that I loss chaser even if initially I won. 

Life is better gamble free! Ive spent many years in and out of recovery...Things do get better.

Hi

I walked in to the recovery program not understanding why I would try and escape people life and sitauions because I felt emotionally vulnerable.

To cause my self pain suffereing a self abuse and deny the healthy things in my life was not was not normal, it was very unhealthy.

But only I could talk to my self our of this self destructive addiction.

Only when I got more honest with my self cold I get more honest with people that loved me.

Each time I went back to my addictions and obsessions were lessons I could learn from if I chooce to.

I lose control I would say that fear and the ad renaline took over my decision making.

Yes it is a very sad unhealthy vicious circle of self destruction.

Yes once in action it is hard to stop lying to your self and others.

Yes once in my unhealthy action it is was very much an adrenaine rush being consumed by my fears and pnic I did not want to face my self or other people.

Money was just the fuel for my addiction.

Money was never going to heal my pains.

Money was never going to reduce my fears or help me be a healthier person.  

The unhealthy addiction and obsessions affected my relationship and with me loving or respecting my self.

The unhealthy addiction and obsessions adversely affected my relationship of intimacy with mysef and with other people. 

In the recovery program  you get to learn and understand your self when you are feeling emotional vulnerable and what y our emotional triggers are.

I will did with my tomorows when I get there.

The most important day in my life is today.

Just for today only I will not gamble.

Just for today only I will not smoke.

Just for today only I will not hurt my self or other people.

Just for today I will write down my needs, my wants, and my goals. 

Just for today only I will exchange an unhealthy habit in to a healthy habit.

Just for today only I will understand that I am not evil stupid dumb stupid.

Just for today only I will understand that I am an unhealthy person that can become a much healthier person if I make the choice to do so.

Just for today only I will learn to respect my self.

Just for today only I will learn to love my self.

Just for today only I will invest in to my self more time and effort in to living a much healthier life.

Being in the recovery program I was a witness to many people who made many healthy changes in their life.

Being in the recovery program I was I was abale to understand the fact if they could do it I can if I set my mind to it.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham

@bm241pin5d 

I too am a loss chaser. 
it’s crazy I could win xxxxx on Monday, but if I was losing a tenth of that on Tuesday I’d still chase. I’d suggest three quarters of the times I gamble I can initially win, but when balance goes down I chase, raise stakes, get hot, get agitated. I’m getting hot talking about it. But talking about it helps. I too hane have spells of abstinence and spells of gambling. My Gamstop recently came to an end (5 years) and I hoped I could gamble in a controlled manner. Not a chance. It wasn’t long before I was back in my old ways. Fortunately I excluded again before I did really bad damage. The depression I felt the day after was awful. I just find it so bad that the slots affect us the way they do. The way they get inside our heads. But that’s what they’re programmed to do. I’m not one of these people that try to say gambling /slots should ne abolished because we all know many can gamble sensibly and within their limits. But the random slots that are programmed the way they are should be. They are the C*****e of gambling. 

Totally understand its like a blur the weekend is gone P**f along with your wages and dignity.  I feel that maybe my brain is now fff.k and not helping me make good choices 

@hd2r19mj8c

Yeah my Gamstop came up not to long ago - but I know now that it can't be a part of my life ever again and reactivated it for another 5 years.

Loss chasing became dangerous for me especially if I'd won beforehand - I never remembered at those points the pain, anxiety, stress & shame I was about to feel when it was all gone. 

@Mast2021 yes I had many occasions that payday came and it'd be pretty much gone before the end of the day. Wondering how I'd get through the next month on pretty much nothing made me more stressed and inclined to play.