new to this - day 1

So I have come back on here and read through all of this. A lot has changed since my last post. I started gambling again in the november 2011. In £7000 debt, the money isnt an issue. I dont earn a lot and the debt will be paid its the issue of having to stop gambling. And I have realised this is going to be something I have to deal with for the rest of my life! Gambling does not make me happy and it changes me into a horrible and nasty person. So after losing a lot of money today this is my new diary to make a fresh start to finally stop for good.

Back again nearly a year later - 25k in debt!! This really has to stop, today is the start of my new life gambling free. I cannot go on feeling this way. Sleepless nights, and not recognising who I am. I am 25 next month, I can clear all debt in the next 4years if I stick to it. I really have to change my life around otherwise I am going to live a very unhappy and sad life!

Hi j100 sorry to hear you a among a long list of us that this horrible illness has took over your life.i will keep an eye out for you on here as I am starting at day 1 myself tomorrow.my loss today has made my mind up to get out and away from this s**t.take it 1 day at a time and get those gamble free days racking up.;-) take it easy x

Scottyboy is done wae this horrible disease!

Thanks scottyboy - I wish you the best of luck. 1 day at a time 🙂 I am going to post as often as possible to keep myself motivated to beating this!

Thanks.take care x

Scottyboy

j100

welcome back to the forum ,you for sure seem to follow the traits of the compulsive gambler, it is in my mind a progressive addiction, the stakes and losses grow with time, the destruction and misery with it.

It is a life choice, you hold the key to making change, it really is in your hands, yes take all the help out there, it will help a great deal, but the bottom line is it is you that has to really want to end the destruction.

With irony there is a way for us to win

Abstinence, by actually not gambling you will become a winner, at worst you will not add to the debt.

I took over twenty years to realise the extent of the destruction gambling waged upon not just my life but that of those I professed to love.

You really do have a great opportunity

My advice give recovery a real chance.

Enjoy it, be proud of it.

duncs stepping forward never back

Thanks for the wise words there, its something only I can do for myself. I Have an opportunity to turn my life around, I have gambled for 4 years now but in theory if I stop now then I can make a real difference in my life

If I carry on then I have no idea where I will end up and it what state of mind. I feel I have reached rock bottom and feel it is time to really sort this addiction out.

Can't handle the lies I have to tell people, sleepless nights I have with worry! Tomorrow is a brand new day and a beginning of the rest of my life! Thanks for the support guys, you always feel like nobody else is going through this. But coming on here you realise how many people gambling affects.

J100

I will just add don't obsess about the debt being the only thing you have to deal with, yes face them, set out some plans to repay what you owe, you made them so I believe have the responsibility to pay them, but also look at why you gamble and set about looking at how to erradicate them.

For me the emotional damage, the scars of those lies and destructive behaviour are the really important things to focus upon.

If you find the root cause you will be able to enjoy a life choice.

One which is

I DID WIN BECAUSE I DID STOP.

Duncs stepping forward never back

Jst popped on to say goodluck today on no bet.

Scottyboy

thank you - good luck also

I am going to beat this and stay strong. Still feeling very fragile and hurt from the recent loss but I know the feeling will go, but that's when I need to fight this

J100 x

Hey j100, I have a similar amount of debt as you, around £24k and it really does hurt. I know exactly what you are going through. I have been gambling for 17 years and it's taking me this long to realise that I have a problem and must stop. I would normally just bet on the football, but online casinos got me hooked. I would stay in control when betting sport, but solución lose my head with black jack.

You cannot win, and once we win we will chase more winnings to erase all our debt....if we then won enough to erase our debt, would that be enough?? In my case probably not, the likelihood is adding to the existing debt and when would that stop.

At least it's only taken you 4 years to hit rock bottom, it took me 17 years. It's not just the money - the amount of time I spent during those 17 years is a crazy thought and that's one thing that you can't get back - time!

I would also add yourself into the 2014 challenge. It's certainly motivated me in the early stages of recovery.

I'm day 18 now, and feeling good, I have my ups and downs, but I want to kick this.

Stay strong!

Onwards and upwards, Jonathan

I never thought I'd end up like this, the past 6months I have completely spiralled out of control.

Yes the debt hurts and will take a long time to repay, but today I have sat down and done a plan for this.

But I need to tackle the issue of not just paying the debt but to completely stop altogether.

I feel very strong this time as I have hit rock bottom, I know I can turn life around with a lot of hard work.

It's going to be a long and very hard journey but I will beat this!

J100 x

Having a really bad day today, feel like I don't even want to be around anymore. I wouldn't do anything silly, just feeling very fed up and wish all this pain would go away.

I have nobody to talk to, I wish I could open to somebody close but I just can't!

Hi Jodie

Sorry that you are feeling really down but don't be too hard on yourself. Gambling can definitely contribute greatly for the way we feel once we reach rock bottom. Try to see this as a positive - it was not until I reached real rock bottom that I decided enough was enough and joined this site.

Isolation can be a terrible thing too. If you feel you can't really speak to any of your friends or family, remember, you always have the support on here on a daily basis. It might be an idea if you had a one to one call with the gamcare staff, just whilst you are feeling down. It's always good to talk I think.

Just remember, tomorrow is a new day and today will have passed. Take each day as it comes for now and just try to be in the present. This will hopefully help you not to worry as much.

Take care.

Feb.

Im feeling a lot better today, everything just got on top of me yesterday. Today is a brand new day so need to pick myself up.

I had a promotion in work awhile ago which my pay package has not been reflected in this yet, but I am hoping I should get my big payrise within the next month or two, which will help massively towards me paying my debts off.

You really do have to hit rock bottom before you see a clearer picture of your gambling and who it turns you into. I am not my old self and im going to not just focus on not gambling, paying debts but also to find myself again and go back to the "old" me.

Day 2 - no gambling!

J100 x