Work over for the day, going to to to the gym to clear my head and keep me active. Going to put my mind into the gym from now.
Feeling slightly better today, but worrying so much over these debts. I can just about afford to pay them back at the moment. Just upsets me I cannot go away with friends or any trips away for a very long time because of my stupidity!
Well done on staying away my friend,i have been working all day and not had a bet but the minute I was alone driving home am thinking along the same lines as you.why was I so stupid to get into this mess 🙁 we will fix it in time but if we gamble again its all over. Take care
Scottyboy x
Thanks scottyboy. I know the pain will ease it just takes time. I am just looking forward to the day where I have no thoughts of betting or worrying.
Just have to be patient - hopefully I will read this diary in 6months/ a year / 2 years down the line and be bet free!
J100 x
Day 3 complete!
Paid yesterday aswell.. managed to pay all bills and what a little off the credit cards. Not much but its a start and none of this money has been gambled!
Feeling positive
Very strong urges today which I am finding very difficult. Also finding it hard thinking about how much debt ive got myself into.
Feel like im in a bit of a bad place today, just wish I could switch off to all of this.
How much of a mug I have been the past 4 years! I know I can turn my life around with a lot of hard work and patience, just seems so far away. When all your friends are booking holidays buying houses etc, and I have maxed out 3 credit cards, overdraft and 2 loans. Really need some good advice or some help to get through this 🙁
I am in the same boat the now,just been payed 2days ago and after trying to pay some of my debts am left with nothing.spent the whole day yesterday thinking why have I done this to myself.aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh.but if I stay away from gambling I know this will get better in time,time is what we never want to hear but thats it or else go back gambling and the hole will get so deep there will be no way out.whatever you do dont make that choice to bet and keep up good work the holidays ect will come. Scottyboy is no betting today for a better tomorrow. X
Scottyboy
I do wish you the best and glad you have decided to stop gambling. Disco
Well today has been the hardest day of my life! I've finally sat down and opened up to my parents about my gambling problem. Broke down in tears and explained everything.
Very disappointed in me, which I am myself. But thought they fly off the handle which they never.
They are taking control of my finances and I will be repaying all the debt, I am going on a very tight budget but this will teach me a lesson.
Also have to go for counselling which I will enquire about tomorrow, I truly have hit rock bottom but the only way is up for me now.
J100
Woken up today feeling like yesterday was one big nightmare, feeling very low, ashamed and upset today. But today is my real day 1 of being clean and honest with people.
Just hurts how stupid I have been and how much I have let my parents down. I truly have to kick this problem now.
Need some advice on GA meetings? And how I go about it, is it literally just finding where a local one is and turning up?
Feeling the lack of support on this diary 🙁
Hi.. yes its literally about going on the GA website finding a meeting and turning up. You will be made welcome. Regards.. S.A
Hi j100 hope you are ok.stick with this site it will defo help,you have just hit the stage where nothing will make you feel better right now.even tho your parents looked disappointed,you can hardly expect them to be happy pal.but deep down they will be happy you have chose to stand up and be counted for our actions.they will now help you all the way.dont let me do this challenge on my on lol we need you here posting.stay strong. No bet today for a better tomorrow. Xx
Scottyboy
Sorry I've had a really down day, but things have improved. I am thankful my debts will now be sorted, luckily I have the best parents who are taking a loan out for me and I make the repayments. They are having all control of my finances and I will be getting "pocket" money each week to live off.
But I have to tackle my mental health state, why I gamble. I am going to the doctors next week as I think I have signs of bipolar or some other mental health issues. I will be attending GA meetings also.
Fresh start for me now.
Hi j100 well done to you! I went to meetings myself but they wer just not for me,i done alot better just posting on here in the past.everyone is different tho and they might do the trick for you.good to hear you are in control now.parents never let you down,its now down to yourself to not gamble and keep them happy with your progress 😉 1 day at a time.keep up good work x
Scottyboy
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