No going back but learning from the past

Hi Sharon hope your happy and well. First day of my creative writing course tomorrow, bit apprehensive but will give it my best shot, don't really know much about english grammar so I will probably struggle with it. Nothing ventured nothing gained eh.....stephen

Morning Sharon . Hope your happy and well, thought I'd let you know I enjoyed the creative writing yesterday , good teacher and the other people in the class are pleasant, think I will enjoy it. I'm also going to start an English course ( 2 hours on a monday ) to help with my grammar, that's free which is a bonus. Thanks to you and other friends who encouraged me to give it a try, I appreciate that ....stephen

Hi Sharon. Chucking it down with rain here in Hull, got drenched coming home. Noticed on a few diaries occasions when people get a bit down in the dumps and it sometimes happens to me. Naturally everyone has sad days and it passes. However if I start feeling sad or remorseful the alarm bells start ringing. 5 years ago I had a good GF period lasting over 5 months. One afternoon I was having a walk, feeling a bit despondent and remorseful. At some point it turned to self pity, the addiction was telling me abstaining was pointless and how I could now control the gambling, thoughts came along telling me it would do me good to have a bet and it would make me happier. Next thing I was in the bookies on a fobt machine. That was the start of an awful period of gambling that only ended when I came to GamCare. Hope you don't mind me posting that negative story on your diary, I needed to get it off my chest and I respect your views.....stephen

Stephen of course you can post anytime for sure. It'S important for us all to support and be there for each other as we're all in the same boat. You've achieved so much and are more than aware of the consequences of going back to gambling. I totally get what your saying though, I feel vulnerable sometimes and then remember how awful I felt trapped in the cycle of gambling. Always here to lend an ear, take care my friend S:)

Thankyou Sharon, feeling more upbeat today. Love your posts on the diaries, great little gems of advice and encouragement, short and to the point. I babble on for ages and don't really say much.

Seems only yesterday I was singing 180 on your diary and now your 190 days gamble free, that is really a massive achievement and you should be really proud. It's been an emotional rollercoaster but you've kept looking forward with courage and conviction. Take care and keep blazing that trail, there's a lot of us following in your footsteps....stephen

Sharon, hi there. I just want to say that I've got lots of respect for your resilience and kind nature. You know that you've done an amazing job balancing motherhood and everything else.

Thank you for your input on the forum.

Hi Change many thanks for such a sincere post, I spent such a long time in the cycle of gambling that I totally lost sight of what's important. So now I'm in recovery I appreciate what is good in my life more than ever. Major achievementioned for yourself nearly a year which is v.inspiring for everyone. I'very read your diary and you sure have had a bumpy ride! Have a great weekend, take care S:)

Hi Sharon

Just a week away from your day 200, something to be very proud of. This is your time now, I hope you are enjoying the calm and tranquility of a gamble free head.

Stephen, it's good to post feelings bad and good, no point in denying our true thoughts and feelings as we need to feel those too or it can lead to troubled paths.

Stay strong all.

Matt

Hi Sharon ! A week away from 200 days ! How about that huh ! You're amazing! Keep up the good work.... no coming back now 🙂

Thanks Sars am so glad to be out of the horrible cycle but am still on red alert!! Just want to be normal, well not that normal lol S:)

Hi Sharon. Sorry you were feeling down at the weekend, hope your feeling better now. You've come a long way since last March when you decided you'd had enough of gambling. I imagine in some ways it must seem like ages ago but I guess the painful memories will still be fresh in your mind.

Enjoying my Creative Writing course at adult education college. Only 7 of us, all friendly and the tutor is really nice. It's quite relaxed and not like school was 50 years ago. They all laugh and the tutor tells me off as I put my hand up when I want to say something, old habits die hard eh. Take care and be gentle with yourself....stephen

Morning Sharon. Just to wish you a happily contented mind boggling awesome weekend. I am having a few difficulties with the firework display organisers ! They're moaning and groaning about the difficulties surrounding my choice of display for monday nights 200 Day GF party. All I asked for is ' SHARON SUPERSTAR 200 ' to light up the october sky. I said to them ' get your act together, Sharons done all the hard work ...stephen

Thanks Stephen, great post lol. Hope you're having a good weekend too, sounds like your courses are fun? Looking forwardro 200 days which doesn't seem possible, time flies especially when your living a GF life. Take care S:)

Hi Sharon , just noticed you'd posted on my diary and wanted to say thanks for your kind word's :)) .

I don't think weve spoken for a while but I try and read as many post's as I can fit in and your's are amongst them , your doing so well now a couple of day's away from your double century :)) I know a lot on here don't go for the whole " Day counting thing " but it was invaluable for me to see the day's racking up in the early stages of recovery and really spurred me on when the day's wern't so good , the day's march on much quicker these day's without so much as athoiught for gambling but I still can't resist a little smile to myself when I open the day counter occasionally :))

It's great that your reaping the reward's of no longer gambling , noticing what's important in life once again and even though sometimes the devil decides to have a little wee we in the corner of your house it's great to just see it as it is " Normal life " and that's something we could never have coped with while in the grip of addiction ( not sure why I said the devil weeing ) it just seemed to sum it up LoL ! .

Anyway I just wanted to say Hi and I'm sure I'll speak to you on Monday with all the other well wishers amongst the crew :)) .

Keep doing what's working Sharon and thank's for your support on the forum :))

Alan x

Hi Alan, sure we haven't spoken for a while but I'm always glad to see you popping up on other peoples diaries offering help and with a great sense of humour too. I agree the day counter is good to keep track of. I must say up until not that long ago I was on a real emotional rollercoaster on a daily basis which has faded now, but I'm not complacent and it isn't forgotten. I think I've just learnt not to punish myself mentally(much of this comes from taking advice from the good people of this forum) So thanks again Alan you really are a tower of strength and compassion. Enjoy the rest of the weekend S:)