No going back but learning from the past

I'm not sure why but for the first time in a while have been swept away in a wave of self pity and gloom, haven't gambled but feel at a bit of a standstill in all areas. Have been reading through my diary to reassure myself and to show how far I have come. I'm not in the same place and I'm not that person anymore, just takes a lot to be strong and have your guard up all the time. We'll tomorrow is another (GF) day, onwards and upwards, take care all S:)

I get like that you can feel full of positivity but there are always reminders of your mistakes, and always get the "What if I did this" moments or I could of stopped earlier and not totally self destroyed myself financially. Its life and people want to tell you that you can't do this or that, you've had your time, you've made your bed, but we have to want more, to see and do and taste things and not get caught in the groundhog day loop.

Hi Sharon. Thankyou for the post on my diary. Wishing you a good weekend and a well deserved rest from work.

My relatives are getting really ancient, been invited to my Aunties 80th celebration in a weeks time and the week after will be celebrating my sisters 70th. Good for me being only 67, I will feel quite young ha ha.

240 Days Gamble Free tomorrow and I know from your diaries you have battled every step of the way. Massive respect to you Sharon for your courage. You have brightened up the recovery road and I will always be grateful for that ...stephen

Thank you Stephen, I feel a world away from the beginning of my time here and this forum really has got me through some dark times. Saw a great quote 'like a hangover neither triumphs or disasters last forever. They both pass and a new day arrives' This backs up the odaat theory which works for me but although I don't take my past actions lightly I'm done with mentally beating myself up and not enjoy life, I just can't do it anymore. So I will allow myself a set time per day to worry, think about debt etc then move on with my day. I have thought a lot about 'the darkest hour is just before dawn' and this was me every morning after a binge the night before but not anymore. So have a great GF weekend everyone and be kind to yourselves S 🙂

As you say sharon, it's time to put away that stick. We just have to accept it was just another chapter in our life and now it's time to turn the page.
You're doing really well with your new chapter, not only with helping yourself but also helping many others along the way.
Memories of the morning after the binge the night before can still be vividly recalled. Upon waking now don't forget to congratulate yourself, think about how much better you feel mentally and love the new you because you deserve to be happy! X

Thanks LML It's hard to break the thought cycle of 'I am awful becsuse I have caused this etc' but I'm tryibg really hard to cut mysrlf some slack and look after myself. Best wishes to you my friebd and take care Sx

Morning Sharon. Hope your having a good week. Around 8 months now since you last gambled which is absolutely brilliant. It is sometimes really difficult when the addiction bombards us with negative thoughts and emotions. Take care and keep your chin up cos your wonderful...stephen

well done on your continued success Sharon

Wilsy

Thank you both for positive comments, makes the world od difference to not be alone on this tough road, take care S:)

Thankyou for posting on my diary Sharon. I feel so bad and utterly ashamed for letting down myself and my friends on the diaries. Take care ...stephen

Hi Sharon, well done on hitting 245 days gamble free. An incredible achievement!! I feel inspired reading some of your original posts compared to now.

Thankyou for the post on my diary Sharon. I feel really stupid but i'm not going to let it beat me. I've learnt a lot in the last 6 months and i'm not going to throw it all away. Stephen

Hi Sharon ,

Nearly 250 days gf for you my friend !! Very inspiring ! Well done for staying strong ! Imaging another 750 days that’s 1000 days hahaha 🙂

Sars

Hi Sharon. You have been a great role model for everyone and I hope I can follow your example this time.

I know sometimes you feel sad, but you persevere and keep going forward. Very proud of you. Stephen x

Thank you Stephen for your kind words S:)