No more

Day 30. No thoughts about gambling. Know everyone is different but this feels too easy and it worries me why. My wife and I have put goals in place for the next couple of years. Don't know if this structure and something to aim for is what's giving me what I need. Got another meeting on Mon. Hopefully get some answers from that. Looking forward to it and looking forward to the future. Not going to let complacency creep in though.

Day 31. Went to my 2nd GA meeting tonight. Top of discussion was "Is stopping gambling enough?" Up until tonight I thought it was. Listening to some of the guys though then thinking about some of the things I've done and my own character defects I realise stopping isn't enough. I need to have a long hard look at myself. On the plus side another gambling free day and not one thought about it.

Congratulations on your 1st month 🙂

If it helps, I have found recovery easy too...Accepting we are beaten by gambling, drawing a line under our past & having everything out in the open so that we can work @ moving forwards together is a good recipe! Chuck in your GA meetings & you won't go far wrong!

Stay on guard & enjoy these good days - ODAAT

Thanks ODAAT. You're comments are appreciated. If you found recovery easy do you ever / did you ever wonder why you didn't just stop if it was this easy? That's the one thing that's bothering me and I don't know the answer. When I mentioned my thoughts on this at the meeting tonight the comment I got was "analysing is paralysing." It may well be but I need an answer to it as it's frustrating me why it's so easy not to gamble

Almost every day for a very long time but now, not so much! When I attended a GA meeting, I asked "How long does the honeymoon period last?" because I couldn't get my head round why it was suddenly 'easy' when I had tried so very many times before! Looking back now, all the nights of frustration @ myself, pouring over my accounts & realising I could be debt free in increasing number of years everytime I did them if I did not gamble again, was just words. Every new opportunity to gamble, I was able to convince myself that I could put a dent in the debt & be straight sooner & if it failed, well I could 'afford' to lose the 20 I was going to stake. The times I got straight through death or downsizing, I had spare money to gamble with so I could try & make more & before long, the cycle of debt continued. & the 20 'stake' soon became 100 & win or lose, I never stopped until the shop closed or I ran out of money anyway. Going on line to see how I could 'control' my gambling, finding a way to only lose what I was prepared to like the ads said or walking away if I was up led me to realise that as a CG, I couldn't. I was terrified @ first but it was absolutely right!

Gambling couldn't cure my financial woes, it was the cause of it, I'd known it for years but had been too arrogant to accept I had a problem, that I needed help!

You have drawn that line, accepted your losses, told your wife & are getting outside support! Are you going to get urges, yes, probably but whether it's the day count that protects you, or the blockers, or a person, in recovery, I will ask for support if I need it. BR (before recovery), I went it alone with Mr Gamble for company encouraging me to do it. That's the difference, accepting I am beat & doing everything to fight it instead of everything I can to enable myself. I can't go back to the person I was when gambling & I know that so my energy is focused elsewhere.

I still struggle to accept that my issues weren't just purely financial because for nigh on 30 years I though I was doing it to get rich. Now I accept I may have been doing it as a comfort for an other than perfect life but I have my whole life to work on recovery so I am just enjoying being gamble free. I'm one of the lucky ones not needing answers but you are right to be digging for them.

Alan135 has had the same question & I say to him, don't sweat it, rather it be easy than fighting urges all the time like some people have to! If you keep on your guard, keep making progress, moving forwards, you may find the answer comes to you! I'm not sure that this will help @ all but I will leave you with something that almost took my breath away @ GA & that was a guy struggling with urges who had an intact triangle. Others were just as shocked as I was. It's much easier to do something that you shouldn't when it's there in front of you, if you have to put time & effort into getting round your barriers, it gives us thinking time to come to our senses! The saying is something like hanging around in a barbers shop, you'll get a cut soon enough. With the right barriers in place, the temptation isn't so great!

Embrace it & stay on your guard - ODAAT

ODAAT you're a star. Thanks so much for putting your time and effort in to the response. It makes a lot of sense. I hope that I'll be able to write as well as you and share my experiences to help other people in the same position in the near future. Thanks again

Enough'senough wrote:

Day 31. Went to my 2nd GA meeting tonight. Top of discussion was "Is stopping gambling enough?" Up until tonight I thought it was. Listening to some of the guys though then thinking about some of the things I've done and my own character defects I realise stopping isn't enough. I need to have a long hard look at myself. On the plus side another gambling free day and not one thought about it.

Well done and keep perservering! The important thing I try and never forget is there is so much support in recovery if I want it. Keep getting involved. Tri

Thanks Tri. Hope you're doing well

Day 36. Football season started and no interest in having a bet. Feels like a lot's going on just now that's keeping me occupied but genuinely not interested one bit and haven't even once thought about gambling. Still trying to sort out the aftermath of it but whatever news we get is just a bonus as we have set realistic and achievable targets.

Day 39. Spoke to my sponsor 2day and enjoyed the chat. Still no thoughts about gambling whatsoever. Looking forward to a weekend away with wife and kids. Definitely turned a corner.

Day 43. A bit of good news today, payday loan company offers me £1.6k redress on the back of my complaint. Some unexpectedly good news that'll go some way to helping the financial situation. Still waiting to hear back from another 5 lenders. Enjoyed my meeting on Thursday, really taking a lot out of it. Onwards and upwards.

Day 47 - paid off my last debt and now other than my mortgage I am debt free. What a great feeling! I'm living a better, healthier, more honest and transparent life than I was when I was gambling. I just wish I had managed to do this years ago.

Day 50. Feeling a real sense of achievement today.

75 days without a bet today. Things going pretty well. Just need to slow down a bit. Still can't get the "I want everything now" mentality out of my head. Still, proud of the progress I've made and appreciate the support of my wife and the members of my GA meeting.

Just wanted to swing past to say well done on the 75 days. That's a fantastic achievement! I hope I can reach that.

All the best and keep it up.

RA