No more slots!

Hi GJ.

I have gambled for well over 30yrs, once went a year without gambling and some times 3/4 weeks. I am now at 5 weeks and a day. I know in my heart without GA, councelling ill go back to it. Im going to my first GA meeting on tuesday. I havent drank in over 21 yrs and a lot of that in the early days was AA, so here is hoping. Those on lines slots can be ****

Hi Stew pots thanks for the message! I've even read articles on how the online slots manufacturers make them addictive to induce more play and still I go back! I've considered counselling today for the first time but I'm dubious as to whether this would help. I think I gamble through bordom or greed or both I'm not sure.

Just going in to day 1 now and really positive about recovery. Need to stick this one out and keep on the straight and narrow.

Yesterday I asked to leave a casino and be self excluded, to my surprise the response was, 'you seem to have had some bad luck, I've loaded your account with £20. So when that went I asked again. The next time it was loaded with free spins. I had to beg them to self exclude me, I think that's terrible! More fuel to the fire to stop lining the pockets of these awful companies!

Onwards and upwards

Morning,

There's a thread by Oldham in the Overcoming section that helps with multiple SE.

re the errant casino, threaten to report them to the Gambling Commission. You weren't having bad luck and there's no such thing as anything free. You paid. Over and over, in secret, presumably behind your family's back. And what you paid to entertain yourself by spinning has gone, you've spent it and it's not available to be spent on anything else.

To overcome the addiction, it's you doing what it takes that will change your situation. Blocking software, parental controls, removing your access to money. And you'll need support from GC, your family and GA meetings.

It's doable, by you, for you.

CW

Day 2

Thanks for the message CW! I've took your advice and made a complaint, northing will probably happen but hopefully they won't do it to anyone else. I've put most of the blocks in place, just need to stay in control like you say and not think that I can be cured, it is an illness i'll carry around for life.

Self excluded every casino I have an open account with today so feel more empowered. Keeping busy by keeping fit and this is making me feel loads better too. Working over the weekend which has helped take my mind away from all the money i've lost.

Need to keep going!

Thanks for reading,

James

Day 4

No major urges over the last couple of days as the anger is still very much present which is probably helping for now.

Trying to keep busy, got a few days off work now so planning as much as possible.

Money situation isn't great but able to keep head above water for now and just have to be grateful I stopped when I did.

Onwards and upwards!

James

Day 6

Had a short day in work today, bank home earlier than expected so had to be on my guard for urges. Turned out to be okay, kept myself busy and got loads of admin done and some DIY on the house. If I'd have gambled, I'd have sat down and gambled hard without breaks. Time would go nowhere and nothing would get done.

So starting to see the benifits of not gambling already. This is good because I'm not going to see the financial gains for a while.

I really hope I can last a lot longer than other recent failed attempts and start to get my life back.

Thanks for reading

James

Good to see you posting more oftenJames, nice to be on Day 6 rather than the day 1 post again, i think i mentioned it to you on another thread that your diary doesnt have to be the bad stuff. you can post about the mini win you had today, just a moment of realisation that life is better without the gambling being part of it.

KTF

Hi KTF,

Thanks for your ongoing support. I guess I was too embarassed to write again on that diary as I felt like I'd failed myself and everyone who wrote on it. Posting more is definitely helping and like you say, its not always the big stuff you need to write about but more identifying that the days were you just get through and not gamble are actually small victories over the bookies. Fantastic way of putting it!

Day 15,

No major thoughts over the last week as I've been busy with work. Did a 100 mile charity bike ride at the weekend which gave me a good sense of pride. When I'm not gambling my life is so much better, its hard to see why I keep going back to waste my money!

I've been trying to sort my finances out too to stop me turning to gambling for a 'quick fix'. I've set managable payments which will mean I will have money to spend for myself too.

Onwards and upwards, got to keep winning

James

Day 19

Keeping busy with work, not much chance to think about gambling, just the odd minor urge but nothing too hard to get through. The first week was really tough but it is getting slightly easier but I know i must stay on my guard.

Payday tomorrow and really need to stay away from gambling when I have the money. If I can stay off the slots I should repay my debts in the next 6 months.

Onwards and upwards, everyday without gambling is a good one!

James

Day 28,

Four weeks gone without gambling and feel great for it! It amazes me how careful I am with money when I'm not gambling. When gambling it's a case of how quick can I get rid of it!

Put myself down for a load of overtime over Christmas, will be working pretty much everyday over Christmas but this will nearly see off all my gambling debt from this last slip which was just over £1500.

It's almost like a punishment for gambling having to work over Christmas, I'll be gutted missing out but I need to learn my lesson. The plan is for a fresh start in 2017 with no gambling debts over my head.

Things are going well, I'm self excluded from most casinos and have blocking software so the urges are less as I know its now difficult for me to gamble. Need to stay on my guard and not get tempted by the urges.

Onwards and upwards

James

Unfortnately i've had another slip, so frustrated at myself! To be honest I've struggled to get away from online slots lately and go around 3 days before I gamble again.

Just gambled another £200 in less than half an hour! Everytime I gamble I deposit around £200 a at time so its landing me in even more debt!

Really need to focus again and get back on these forums regularly, its the only thing I know that works. I have put all the blocks in place but I can get around them to gamble if I really want so its got to be me that does this.

Even though I know I wont win I keep going back just to play the slots, so stupid and time to get my head straight! I don't know whats up with me, I don't want to be defined by being a gambling addict anymore, its pathetic. I never have money, missed opportunities, rediculous lies and excuses.....it gets exhausting!

Onwards and upwards, day 1 tomorrow.

Thanks for reading

James

Hi James Sorry to learn of your slip, do you know what the triggers are? You know you can do this because you have done it before, put the blocks in place and make sure you cannot get around them, best wishes on your recovery x

Day 4

Thanks anon100 for the post. I do know what I need to do, along with the blocks I need to be tougher on myself. It's just not an exceptable lifestyle and I need to have more self decipline. Enough is enough now if I want this enough I need to fight for it.

As I've mentioned before the slots are proving really hard to get away from. I'm missing them real bad so I'm trying to keep my mind busy to stop thinking about them.

I'm normally better with the urges after around a week it's just getting there.

Onwards and upwards

James