Ok here i go!

I don't play well with others on best of days!

Not right fussed at moment getting abit of flack of my pals that go to bookies only a bit of banter but can deal with it

Afternoon blown thought I would swing by and see how you are doing? Hopefully haven't interrupted you watching Bridget Jones or anything like that?

Any how don't worry about what your mate's are doing. They ain't paying your bills
Chances are they got problems of their own

Peace

Not only swinging you do pal so don't worry about it!

Doing average today, got daughter so bookies doesn't even come to mind:

Still slightly annoyed about chat room last night but know just being padantic.

Just been reading the family and friends section as I find it the most sobering.

I do try and stay away from giving advice as I'm pretty ubrupt

Well I think you are good at it Blown...you don't wrap it up in fancy words...say it as it is. You are living with the consequences of gambling and the difficulties of giving up one day at a time. Day 16...soon be three weeks...you didn't think you could do this 17 days ago.

Before everything was bookies everything in my mind revolved around it, started off going with pals for a "laugh" then found my self going on my own,, then lieing about where I was , every penny I had could be made more at bookies. I could justify every single time every single 20 note,

Can remember selling things that were worth more just to get to the bookies, going in with the best intent to only spend 40 quid, leave money in car except for that 40, loosing that walking straight out grabbing what ever wad was in car , walking straight back in and feeding and feeding the machine thinking I'll be happy to get what iv put in back out, then I'll be happy to get half back out, then walking out broke feeling ashamed and wondering what I could do to buy my t or cigs (I'd probably just blown a grand )

Thought and genuinly believed I knew the machine and I knew it was good to pay out because it was freezing up, or not paying out so it was building up to a big win, it was paying out little bits so was paying, I'd put too much in for it not to pay out, it wasn't kicking me straight off so was going to pay out.

I genuinly and honestly believed that.

But I had to hit rock bottom it had to be that choice of run motor straight into a wall. Or quit!

I was actually googerling painless ways of killing your self and working out how and where I could do it that I wouldn't upset anyone if they found me. Then I ended up on here.

I read diarys and realised I'm not only person to be taken down by this and there's people that have been a whole lot worse then me and pulled through. I thought I'd give it a whirl, I didn't realise then that it would fill the gap in my life that bookies was and that I'd have people that actually care about me quitting!

When I told my best mate it took me days to build up courage I'm not very good with admitting weekness I like people to think I can get through owt. And no one knows bout me and bookies.

I text him and told him his reply was

"Why didn't you tell me could have helped"

Told him it took some courage to build up, he's not text me back since that hurts me badly I'd genuinly do owt for lad. The hurt from that would normally be able to push me back to bookies but it hasn't as I just come on here! Headaches have calmed down a bit now. I'm not stupid enough to think iv recovered already and I'll be fine. I haven't how ever I hate what the bookies has done to me more then anything and that is enough to keep me away. This website reminds me everyday why we stay away with my hatred and this site I know I can stay away

Maybe your mate is wondering how he didn't know? Wondering why you couldn't tell him? If he is a good mate, give him the benefit of the doubt, and send another text just making sure he is ok. Could say you can't go near bookies, but what about a pint? Just a suggestion.

You know what this is me I'm not aplogising iv not stolen or hurt anyone in my self destruction.

To be fair I don't need mates I'm concentrating on my self I did send another text a few days later with no reply. A mutual asscoisate drove past me when I was stood at a bus stop in freezing cold with my daughter. With a smirk. Never liked the bloke anyway.

I might be down and out at moment but it won't last for ever i built my self from nothing to something in a year last time. Aiming for 6 months this time

Ignore them Blown....And if your 'mate' couldn't be bothered getting back to you then he's not true friend and you're better off without him!

Stay on the right path....You're doing great! Might see you in chat later 🙂

Take care

Mari x

Hey Blown,

I was wondering about you in chat tonight, and wanted to call a halt in your diary and say hey. You really have done well my friend. I recognise a lot of the stuff that you talk about, saying about only spending £40 and then loosing, selling things..Yeah been there.

You have done the hard part, making the decision to go and leave that life behind you. Stop thinking about what you had, it is gone, like my savings were gone..But what you have in it's place is self respect and a future. A future that is bright, and gamble free. These next few months will be difficult....keep at it. From reading your diary, the group that you socialised with in the bookies, may not be the best people to surround yourself with. We all need to surround ourselves with positive people that are on our vibe...Hearing that somone lost or won £750, could tip the balance..

Keep strong, hope to see you in chat this week.

Juliex

Morning guys.

Didn't come on last night had some stuff on.

So beggining of a new week, woke up read couple of diarys with a coffee, now off to gym fresh week of not gamberling. Yes it pops into my head I don't know how many times a day. But then the thought of future with out gamberling and having nice things again is a lot stronger so don't see it being a issue

Pointless saying good luck guys

You don't get luck you create your own.

Sent you a text re CV - Did you get it ?

Sbb

Yes pal I did sorry had my daughter was meant to get i back to you today. I don't really have a cv but will fire what I have across to you later.

Again pal thank you for taking time

Blownitagaib wrote:

Yes pal I did sorry had my daughter was meant to get i back to you today. I don't really have a cv but will fire what I have across to you later.

Again pal thank you for taking time

No rush mate, as long as you got my details 🙂

Hey there,

It is great that you have your CV on the go. I have done interview skills course and do a bit of interviewing from time to time for work. If you need any pointers or that, just give me a shout. I can just draft you up a quick guide to the best tips of giving the best of you at interview...No pressure, but just wanted to offer...

Have a good evening

Julie