On Top of the World!!!!

Lovely weekend with my family and great start to the working week. Aside from being without the numbness, regret and lack of money the other big plus about not gambling or thinking about gambling is the time and energy that I have to focus on the important things of real life. My career is taking off again and am replacing savings with hard earned real money instead of trying to win it back. I have a lot work and studying for a course coming up in the next few months alongside my career but I know I can do it because I will not be wasting time and mental energy with gambling.

Well done diggorboy,you sound like your in a great place mentally,its definetly a place i want to be.

I tried to win back what i lost to get back to the 21st nov,which never works,day 1 again for me.

Great to read your moving forward and putting the gambling nitemare behind you.

all the best Rob.

Had a great weekend. Was able to watch rugby without feeling the slightest urge which was a great feeling! Yesterday was my son's 10th birthday party which was wonderful. Reinforcing the important things in life for me. My wife has been having to take responsibility for so many things over the past few years both financially and in terms of organising and planning(due of course to my gambling) that our family has only functioned because of her. I am now in a place to be able to contribute properly again and to pay her back. I have bought her something quite extravagant for Valentines day which was a good feeling and a also a good way to start remembering the true worth of money (which gambling has destroyed for me.) Another week of work and family ahead AND I LOVE IT!

Well done diggorboy,its great your able to enjoy sport without the stress and anxiety and eventuall loss of money gambling brings,your doing really well,keep it up and dont get sucked in.

Ive changed my name on my diary from robwillwin,im back to day 2,tho my perhaps my latest failure has made me really think i have to put serious blocks up in order to combat this illness,ive giving all financial control to my partner,tough but needs must.

On tuesday i acted on a crazy thought through boredom at work that i could bet the odd fiver,win a couple of quid,feed my addiction with small stakes.The fiver was lost,followed by 20,then 30,-i was so P***** off that i got sucked in, a payday loan of 300 was then deposited ,the gambling mist had descended,nothing would stop me,come wed nite i was suicidal. -Its not the money,its loss of self control.

Time to start again,so im back on day 2,but i gota new self belief,i got myself out of the pickle i was in,skint for a month,but aint we all.

Keep going strong diggor boy,i will follow your progress,

all the best Rob.

Great idea to hand over control of finances. Also really look at your triggers, they are very similar for lots of us, Boredom, excitement of sport etc. Break habits, do different things! You spoke about feeling suicidal, if things are really that bad you owe it to yourself and your family to make changes. Don't just sit there hoping things will be different counting each day but get out and make a new life for yourself without gambling. It WILL be better!

About to have an exciting weekend working on some lovely shows. Then home for a great Sunday out with my family. No gambling. No way.

My son is on half term and I have spent the day helping him with homework, playing with him and watching a few fave songs on youtube. I have no urges, no thoughts about gambling and am just appreciating how lucky I am and how I must never do anything to jeopardise these precious moments. In a few years I guess he won't want to do as much with me so I want to be able to say I made the most of his childhood and my fatherhood. This time last year I was looking at a year of debt ahead of me this year it is a very different story. My career is doing very well and I am enthused. All my energies are channelled in the right direction everything is going well but I know that however far away I am from my last bet I am always the same distance from my next one. Right now I cannot see me gambling again but I will never forget the senseless waste of time and money that it is or what it did to me. I am not just an ex gambler counting the days but someone who is striving to make his and his family's life better through positive deeds and action...bit of a ramble today but I am a very happy non gambler!

Great post Diggoryboy. They are the sort of posts I love to read. Knowing that someone has taken back their life. I am also enjoying spending more time with my kids and really value that time as I want to enjoy being a good dad. I need to be able to look back and feel I gave my kids a good start in life. How could I possibly do that as an addicted gambler.

My debts are still very much at the forefront of my mind and I'm looking at a few years before I can be debt free but I will get there.

Have a great week and thanks for the inspirational post.

G

I have a week with my son at school and very little 9 to 5 work to do. I have some decent money in my account so in the past I would have been straight to the bookies. I wouldn't have even thought about it. Just habit and empty compulsion. Today I will practice to improve my act. Do some stretching and gym work and then really get downto study for a qualification I am doing. I will not waste time! I will not waste money and I will make the most of the wonderful gamble free day that I have in front of me. This is my choice and at the end of the day when I am home with my family I will be so thankful that I made this choice.

Coming to the end of a good week. My objectives at the start of this week were to practice, exercise and then get down to study. Have done them all...and more. I didn't make "not gambling" an objective I just knew that it didn't need any special effort. If I keep on concentrating on the important things like work, health and family there just isn't any space in my brain for such a vile addiction. Will work hard today then have a great weekend with my family. That's enough.

Nice one DiggoryBoy. Looks like you're in a good place and life is looking wonderful. Nice to read someone else who can affirm all that is good about giving up gambling. Far better things to do with our time.

G

It is so lovely to have a clear mind. When people talk to me I listen to what they say. I am no longer rushing and doing work badly just to get to the bookies. I genuinely do a proper days work and don't have to lie when I see my wife about what I have spent the day doing. When my son tells me about his day I can engage in conversation and discuss it with him. I just find myself smiling for no reason. I have patience. I have time to think about other people. For so long I wanted to be where I am now. As I stumbled out of a bookies or walked upstairs after a desperate, secret night time on line binge I would ask myself "Why did I just do that? It always happens" or "if I can just get myself free from this addiction and think clearly.." For years I struggled and couldn't stop. Now I feel on the other side. I am where I wanted to be. I am free. I can live. I can work. It is my choice. I am not going back...It is so lovely to have a clear mind...

Hello Diggoryboy,

I just read through your posts, and congradulations on returning to your gamble free life. I'am a newly recovering addict myself, but I'am finding each day and week that goes by, my mind is clearing up from the mess gambling created. It's a tuff road but one I must take, well done for having the courage to pick yourself back up. Stay strong.

Chicagoguy

Another week gone another week of accomplishments and moving on with life. Having dinner with some good friends tonight. I remember when we visited them a couple of years back I had spent the day donating loads of money to bookies and spent the evening smiling and joking whilst hiding my agony. I do not miss the secrecy and double life just as much as I do not miss the pointless addiction. I will have a great weekend and I hope everyone else on here does too.

Started the week quite well. Have to really get down to some work today. Some work in June which I assumed was confirmed became a little less secure. Losing work in the past would have felt like losing money gambling and been a major trigger for me to try and "win" it back. Although it didn't feel good to have possibly lost some income I wasn't tempted this time, and then guess what ? The work did become confirmed and life is good again! Each trigger that doesn't affect me is another step towards normality and happiness and that is where I am heading.