On Top of the World!!!!

Just paid for MOT, Service and Road Tax. In the past this would have been a trigger for me to have gambled to try and win money to help with/pay for these expenses. I, like so many of us here had destroyed my sense of the value of money. I could risk/lose thousands but resent having to pay £200 for road tax. Not any more. Pay it and get on with life in the real world.

Triggers!!! 1)There is something about this time of year. Due to the rhythmic nature of my work I often find myself with a bit of time on my hands in early/mid Sep before things get busy in the next couple of weeks. 2)There are also certain sporting events which habitually can drag me back into gambling. 3)Just been paid for some work. 4) The pain of losing is getting further away. 5) A few annoying unexpected financial setbacks. 6) 4!!! new bookies have opened in my city. Put all this together and this is the perfect storm of all triggers. BUT instead of gambling I put the money out of reach, self excluded from the bookies and got back on here and posted. Even 10 months after stopping this can be a rough ride. I wish I didn't need to self exclude and do other such things but after 20 years or more of gambling I have to fight this thing with all I can. Most days my life as an ex gambler is joyous and I would laugh at the idea of gambling but some days it is not. Today is one of those days, but I didn't gamble. I am beating this habit. I am breaking this cycle.

October. I made the decision to stop last November. I have had such a good year achieving many things and making a great financial recovery. This is quite simply down to me not gambling. So many times in my past I was desperate to be where I am now. I am free and with less than 2 months to go before my freedom has lasted for a year. I was so down but now I can look forward to a life without gambling and the debt, despair, deceit and agony that it ALWAYS brings. IT IS OVER!!! I may still have urges. I may still experience triggers but I am stronger than them because I will never forget the misery that this vile addiction brought me for so many years and the happiness peace and financial stability that stopping has given me. I have given myself a second chance and I will take it. I repeat to myself and everyone here. IT IS OVER!!!

Indeed, you are an inspiration! I try to read a lot of diaries, both happy and sad ones. You folk who are experiencing success give me hope that I'll get there some day! Congrats on continuing the fight and continuing to win!

Hi there well done on your continued success, I love reading diaries that have turned there lives around and are beating this addiction. It's really inspirational. It reminds me that it can be done and that I have to do it. It also shows me it's worth it when sometimes crazily enough it seems that I should still gamble. I know I can't and its reading success stories like yours that remind me why I'm here and what I wan't to achieve.

Thanks for joining the thread. Your doing great anyway but hopefully the thread will just keep you focused and it'll be great to celebrate your first year gamble free with you, that really is some achievement. Stay strong mate. Well done again to you and look forward to seeing you at the weekly check ins.

Had a few urges today. Brought on by thoughts of extra money for Christmas presents and having a bit of a wage cut. A bit scarey BUT I responded by putting my wages into an account that I can't access. (Something I do every month) A bit worrying that I was so tempted after such a long time but I am stronger than this. I have had one of the best years of my adult life and it will be topped off by completing a year gamble free. I WILL NOT LET GAMBLING RUIN THIS! I don't gamble anymore and every day I go to bed and wake up a winner.

Hey thanks for the encouraging post, really appreciated. I think it's incredible how much words of encouragement can impact on your thought process. It's like having an army of friends ready to battle with the enemy and when you are backed into a corner feeling vulnerable, you call in the troops to ensure you win the battle for the day. Yes the war isn't over but you live to fight on ( with your cash in your pocket). Keep it up friend.

Still gamble free. Still having the odd urge. Still giving myself as little access to £ as possible just to be sure. I hate the way gambling is so easy, so accessible, so socially acceptable. Whenever I hear gambling spokespeople talking and justifying how "the great majority of gamblers are in control and just do it as a respectable leisure pursuit", I get so angry. Gambling brings misery. It destroys lives. I hate reading posts on here equally from people who are new to the site or from people who have been keeping diaries and really struggled to fight this addiction for months to improve theirs and their families lives and then succumb once again. There have always been problem gamblers but any fool can see that FOBTs and online gambling is MUCH MUCH WORSE in terms of the ease with which someone can secretly blow thousands and thousands of pounds in minutes. They are evil and wrong and our spineless politicians will do nothing so we have to help each other as much as we can. I hate gambling. I really, really hate it!

Just about one year since I stopped. Not gambling has allowed me to financially recover and be able to concentrate on my family and work. This has been a remarkable turnaround. In many ways my greatest ever achievement. I have a great sense of contentment and am pretty confident that I won't gamble again BUT I think I hoped that by now it would all feel more final... but I still get urges. Certain things still trigger damaging thoughts and it is clear that gambling has psychologically damaged my attitude to money. I still limit my access to money and still self exclude whenever a new bookies opens. Compared to this time last time I am in a different world and it is a world that I will stay in. December/Christmas 2012 was the catalyst for me stopping one year on I am so happy that I did.

After a few months with the occasional urge am back to gambling being nowhere in my thought processes. This Christmas will be a massive, joyous celebration. I love my life, I love my family, I love my career! Gambling nearly destroyed all of them but through my own effort and the support of people on this website I am winning! I will always feel some pain and guilt at the wasted time and money but I believe that having fought back to this position where I feel financially and mentally normal then the experience of my gambling Hell will mean I appreciate where I am and what I have so much more than If I had never gambled. I cannot undo the past but I can ensure that I never inflict this on me or my my oved ones again. One year of being a non gambler(After 20+years!) I am now starting to believe that it is all over. It has to be zero tolerance. No gambling! No interest! No way I am going back!

diggerboy

Fella thanks for sharing, simply fantastic.

From me a huge well done.

Today that is great medicine.

I hope you xmas brings you all the celebration it deserves, you without doubt earnt it.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Diggerboy

It was so nice to read your thread and well done on your achievements, if give me so much hope for my son. It is a real boost to me to see people find their way and build a great road to a recovery well done.

I am supporting my son on his journey and it is sometimes hard for me, so it is wonderful to see that you are so positive and doing so well

Have a great Christmas and keep on the road to recovery x Jax

Well done great inspiration to us all x

Your last 2 posts are fantastic. Massive congrats for the year gamble free it really is a massive milestone and you should be so proud. Enjoy your Christmas you really deserve it and I'm certain that it'll be a much better Christmas being gamble free than if you were gambling that's for d**n sure. Enjoy your new life keep it up keep inspiring and I'll keep trying to follow your lead.

Just popping on here to say my life continues its onward progress. Gambling occupies 0% of my thoughts. My work is successful, I can concentrate on my family(Which is important as my father-in-law is in his last few weeks), my finances are secure and I can properly contribute to my family. I am in a very different place these days. I am a long way past fighting an addiction. I am normal. I don't gamble. The view from here looks great. Come and join me!