On track, don't look back!

Good job on fighting your urges. You're doing the right thing. You will have down days and I think it's mixture of annoyance at having lost money and the psychological addiction that comes with gambling. Conquer both and you'll be okay. Truth is though, and I believe this, that the psychological addiction starts to break when you admit you have a problem and start and put it in writing. What you've written shows you can do that.

Gambling gives you nothing but illusions, I've always thought. Well done for starting a diary here and I wish you well on your journey. It is and will be worth it.

-Alex

Paul

In paying off £50 of your debt, rather than gambling, you have won massively my friend.

I too have been tempted many times to try and gamble myself out of the mess that my addiction has gotten me into. I've found that even if I win in the short term, it only makes my problems worse over time.

You've done really well to get to Day 5. I know that the urge to gamble can be incredibly intense, but these do fade over time and you'll be stronger each time you overcome the urge to gamble.

It will get better over time.

Best wishes

Yamada

Thanks for the supportive words. I wonder if you believe in someone having an addictive personality? I do so I'm going to start back in the gym tomorrow and try and get addicted to that! If you knew me you'd laugh at that idea. If I get a fraction of my gambling addiction I'll be lean and mean in no time. I'm going to try to post in the diary most days to give me some drive and a goal. Hopefully, I'll be more positive in those posts

Hi Paul

Don't want to call you silly haha, well done on paying £50 its a big achievement it all adds up so in my eyes you're defo a winner : -)

I've been really silly Hollie :-/ maxed my credit card up and my over draft so I've got a lot of making up to do.... It's going to be hard work but I have to do it!!! And I'm going to do with out just to do it cos I don't deserve anything nice at the moment best of luck to you sorry for going on we are all in the same boat need to get this debt gone I want to be happy Hollie again.

Hollie xx

Thanks Hollie

I'm starting day 6 and its going to be a challenge. I work a split shift so I'm at home in the afternoon-dangerous! Gonna take my 2 dogs out for the longest walk they've ever had. Share the pain!!

Dare I look forward to Christmas yet??

I'll start by dealing with today.

Good luck to you. I don't feel qualified to give you any advice. It would be total hypocrisy but I wish you strength cos I know what you feel.

Just one day at a time. Thats all any of us can do. Take things slow, just dont gamble today, forget tomorrow deal with that when it comes. You take every day as it comes and dont gamble for that day before you know it another week has past and then your counting the months that fly past - I mean how is it novemeber already!!!

Thanks for signing up to the christmas thread, hope it can be another tool to help you through your recovery. Be a great way to start the new year 3 months gamble free under our belts and one big celebration between all those completing the challenge. But as i said and as i try to do every day, just one day at a time. I WILL NOT GAMBLE TODAY!!!!!!

Just completed a full week gamble free. Lots of deep thinking and beating myself up. Lots of tears reading my own posts. Almost like I'm on the outside looking in. Great to have somewhere to write this.

£22,043

That's my total debt right now.

My promise to myself today is that this shall only decrease!

I will post the updated figure monthly for my own sanity.

In fact, right now I will pay off another £50 so that it begins with 21.

Thanks for the advice Dave, I will repeat your mantra 'I WILL NOT GAMBLE TODAY'

I Will NOT GAMBLE TODAY!!!

In bed. Early night. I DID NOT gamble today! 9 days

Well done Paul. I'm on day 9 myself. I Keep thinking I can't let this beat me and I'm determind it won't. We can beat this. Stay strong! X

Thanks for the support lia. As another weekend beckons I am sure the demon will come knocking. He's not coming in. Not this weekend. I'm going to fill my weekend with my partner and baby girl. Today and over the weekend I will not gamble!!!!!! The last few days have been very upbeat for me. Although I am often pulled into a depression by thoughts of my debt. One thing that keeps me going is that I know that that debt is only going to get smaller. 2 weeks ago it was only getting bigger. I long for normality. But what is that?

Just taken my little girl swimming. A lovely taste of normal life as I have no money riding on anything and know that I won't have today. Have I turned the corner on day 11? Please be true!!!

Good luck everyone

When I make it through today it will be 2 weeks. I think I've actually accepted that the money is gone and won't be coming back. Previously no matter how much I'd lost, as long as I had something 'on' there was hope of winning it all back. That would be my 'cure'. Now I am sure that if I had broken even I would still be gambling and putting myself in a worse situation. There is no cure for who I am. I am a compulsive gambler. There is only control!!! It is interesting that I try to control everything in my life but I can't control myself.