One day at a time

Keep up the good work sonic , well done for ignoring peer pressure last week

Good skills choosing 'No' - I know you said no urges but it wouldn't have surprised me to hear that the addictions were whispering to you, go on, have a go, it will be different this time?!

I know you have limited money but don't underestimate how well you are doing managing it! Keep choosing 'No' - ODAAT

Hi ODAAT,

Im not really a big fan of describing my thoughts as voices in my head, would make me think im going crazy!! haha

... But yeah I've had brief moments thinking I could easily make a few quid by doing this or that.. But I never seriously considered doing it.

Helps that ive self excluded from the bookmakers i had online accounts with

Now my weekends have just been keeping a watch on my dreamteams rather than football scores and my bets.

My Goodness, you would be most concerned @ some of my behaviour then! I have moved on from my gambling days, telling myself 'that's it I'm done' on a regular basis & it only lasting til the withdrawal limits reset to actually 'ha' ing outloud & sometimes treating myself to a little dance when I walk past somewhere that would be damaging were I not in recovery!

My urges (sounds better than voices in my head) have changed quite subtly from convincing me I could make money to suggesting that gambling would be fun...Neither has worked. Before recovery I believed every d**n lie the addiction told me, now I know I cannot win because I cannot stop & the gambling itself was never the issue, it was the damage it caused once the last £1 was lost!

Hopefully the footie is more enjoyable for you now?

Stay strong - ODAAT

Hi Mark,

I'm using today to catch up with everyone. Good to see your still gambling free.

Just having a little chuckle to myself about the voices. I have them, I sometimes go as far as having a full blown conversation with them (not just about gambling either!) Only ever if I'm on my own though, I'm not quite the crazy lady arguing with herself in the middle of the high street...yet anyway.

I also have a question (before I can decide whether I can post in your diary again) Sunderland fan or Liverpool?

Jess x

Hi Jess,

Well I have to admit talking to myself now and again, guess we're all a little crazy deep down lol

... Im neither Sunderland or Liverpool to be honest (Leeds Utd). Its just my best mate works for Bidvest, sponsers for Sunderland. He got 4 free tickets so I tagged along. Hes a Liverpool fan and we were sat with all the Sunderland fans haha. Who do you support then? Sunderland or Newcastle??

Ive done the same many times NT. Ironic name for lad brokes... yes the lads always end up broke when leaving...

Todays shock fa cup results just prove how hard it is for us to win. Hell if a normal gambler struggles to win how on earth are us compulsive gamblers gonna survive out there in the big bad gambling world!

Swings and roundabouts I guess.

Last week aparently all the favoured teams won and cost the bookies and fortune which I was pleased about , you always hear about this weekend just gone and how some old bloke won a million from a quid.

I often wonder if the people who they write about are even real.

How are you getting on sonic ?

This is a little gem that I copied and pasted from another thread on here. I imagine its true for a lot of us!
Imagine inside your head two different brains. They're both made of your nerve cells and they're both inside your skull, but they work independently and each comes to its own conclusions.
Brain 1 seeks pleasure. It loves the rush of the occasional winning moment.
Brain 2 does reasoning and strategy. It loves to plan for your future prosperity, and advise you on rational tactics to get there.
Brain 1 says "gamble". Brain 2 says "stop". Thus the experience of Mixed Emotions.
When Brain 2 explains the math, Brain 1 doesn't listen because it doesn't even know what math is. It's an animal. It doesn't plan. It just seeks pleasure.
So when the two disagree, neither one backs down. Brain 2 doesn't back down because it knows it has a valid point. Brain1 doesn't back down because it DOESN'T EVEN KNOW an argument is happening! That's just not how it works! It has ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA that "soon enough you will be in debt again". It doesn't do math. It doesn't know what debt is. It doesn't understand threats. It just keeps trying to get its “winning moment” thrill.
Left to their own devices, the two brains will battle each other in a Pythonesque futility:
“This isn't an argument. This is contradiction!”
“No it isn't.”
“Yes it is.”
By default, your "self" (wherever THAT is in the skull) obeys whoever shouts louder, brain 1 or 2. Which means you never know who will win on a given day. Which means you'll relapse over and over.
For me, beating gambling means better refereeing of the conflict. When brain 1 shouts louder and refuses to listen to argument, he gets ejected from the game for unacceptable misconduct. The winner is chosen on the basis of better debate instead of loudness.
“That's a yellow card for telling me to visualize the thrill of winning. Oh! That's two yellow cards! You're being sent off!”

Somethings been on my mind and need to get it off my chest without causing offence which may be difficult!!

So a couple of days ago I suggested the following to a Gamcare member who (in my opinion) I have an established relationship with;

"This will prob sound mad but bear with me... So lasts nights bonus ball was 17... so why not set yourself a personal goal to now go 17 days gamble free, on completing those 17 days treat yourself or your husband/kids with something, a day out, a gift, anything.. Then on the next available lotto draw whatever bonus number comes out treat that number as another 'target'. If its a high number then you'll simply gave a longer period for your next well deserved 'treat'
worth a try??"

Well it appears that my suggestion caused some offence in fact ive read it was "the most offensive bit of advice given in my time in recovery".

.... Well im just not standing for that, no f***g way!! Proper P****d off to be fair!!

Anyway off my chest now.. Sort of..

You would think that id suggested remortgaging the house and stickin 50 grand on Chelsea to win the league to recoup losses over the years!!

Hi John. In spite of my post just now I have to say im not too bad thanks. Over a month totally gamble free now. Not had the funds tho so not really had massive urges. Payday this Friday so February will be more of a challenge for me.

Stay strong this weekend mate, post on here or the challenge forum if you are feeling weak or use the telephone list that I can give you if you email [email protected] and you can then speak to a fellow soldier. Read this weeks update on the challenge about my slip in November, it always ends the same way, make the right choices this payday weekend mate and make that choice not to gamble!

Day 38

The morning after payday... No gambling yesterday. Never had the opportunity to and the day went by with no problems...

There will be plenty of football on this afternoon but right now I dont even have the slightest interest of trying my luck.

Im determined not to ruin my 2015 aim no be gamble free.

Saying that Im in a bonus ball lottery 'game' at work. I have 2 numbers (41 and 43). So thats 8 quid a month. If either number comes out on thr sat draws you win the pot of 49 quid for that week.

Some may say that Im not gamble free but im not stressing myself over the intricates of all that. Gambling to ME is placing bets with the 'industry' and not our lotto 'game' at work - thats just a social office thing which has no trigger whatsoever for me to actually gamble.

Enjoying the Aus tennis final for what it is, great match so far.

I didnt bet big on tennis in the past as there really isnt any value to be had (in my opinion). But have to say im enjoying the match without stressing about the results of bets I may have placed.