Day 2 for me today, and it's payday (could not have come at a worse time). Not enough money to cover the bills or take family out and the urge to get that 'one big win' to solve my problems is kicking in.
I always think that when i have the urge to gamble it's like having on one shoulder a little devil like character whispering "it can only take a tenner to win the jackpot" and on the other shoulder an angel like character pointing out the facts.... that gambling will not solve my financial problems, but it will make them worse and drive me into borrowing money from family and friends under false pretence, thus hurting the people closest to me and destroying any lingering trust and support that probably shouldn't be there anymore. After giving this careful consideration, surely the analogy of little devil/ little angel means that i am not in complete control of my actions, and that i leave the decision of me gambling to a squabble between the good and bad thoughts going around my head.
So i guess the plan is to try and figure out how i can do better at learning how to control my thoughts, my urges, my addiction.
The thoughts and words of people on this site have been really helpful, more than i ever thought. And so thankfully i have found something that i hope will take my mind off gambling....... study. I forced myself into studying for something that will make my life better in the long term, and hopefully by doing this it will give the little devil sitting on my shoulder a kick inbetween the legs, or at least when i hear the whispers telling me that gambling is worth it, i can mentally whisper back "P**s off i'm not interested".
The little devil will always be there, but training your mind and preparing yourself correctly to keep busy is a step in the right direction.
Looking forward to day 3 already.
Reggie.
Well done Reggie keep it up i am on day 6 and i know exactly how you feel. Its friday night and the urge is very strong but i will not give in in fact i'm more addicted to Gamcare at the moment reading all these stories is good for me knowing that i sm not alone and not going mad and that there is light at the end of the tunnrl (even though it will be a long tunnel for me) i will get there
Hi reggie23, I can see you have been around for a while & hope that this time your journey to kick the devil between the legs is much smoother! 15 years is indeed a long time but I am in recovery now with almost twice as long under my belt & if I can do it anyone can!
Personally, I think payday could have come @ a worse time, day -1 because then not only would you not have enough to cover the bills or take the family out but you'd be trying to figure out how to get through the month! Yes, a few more days in recovery may have helped you with the urges but you have beat them today & that it all any of us need to do - ODAAT
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