Dear diary day 25
Life is returning to some degree of normality after much of the previous year(s) have been spent destroying life. My partner returned from seeing her family in NZ and it is amazing to have her back. She doesn't know the full story as it would be very sensitive I would risk losing her, but my family knows and is supporting me in this process. I will eventually need to tell my partner everything, but it's just not the right time after her spending a fantastic Xmas / NY with family and returning to a cold Dark UK. Given I am not, and will not be gambling she will over time see the difference in me, our relationship and all around us.
Not tempted to gamble, and feeling strong. I know there will be difficult times ahead and my resistance levels won't perhaps be what they are at this raw point in my life where only 3 weeks ago I was trying to destroy myself.
Honesty, integrity and discipline are traits I have to ensure are engrained into my life going forward. No slipping backwards into the madness that is fobts and online betting.
Of all my betting over the years other than the emotional high of the very first win, I can't really think of any other positives. I became completely emotionally desensitized to winning and losing. It was the norm to leave the house, visit a bookies before 9am and then arrive at work having won or usually lost money. I've no idea how I've managed to hold down a role whilst being in that mindset, but the positive is I am still employed and I'm 100% committed to achieving success and hard working.
GA tonight and looking forward to this as a chance to get some things off my chest. It's really encouraging to hear those that have abstained for years but still attend as they know the implications of just one bet.
This is the biggest challenge I've every faced in life and I hope all others have success in defeating and this corrosive habit.
have a gamble free enjoyable week.
Hi Andy,
Just catching up with everyone today. Good to see you're still gambling free and sounding so positive. Long may it continue I say.
Take care my friend
Jess
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