Not gambled since June 8th (£75 since September 25th 2011 grrrr)
Around 60 days and i'll of done a year with only a few cheap slips...
ughhhh
Hiya Fatuesque...
Great to see your name pop up there...
I guess we are all different ..and maybe like you say now is time to put the past behind you and move on...
I don't ever think "how stupid" but when I see some of the regular postees myself included ..its just people on a forum being their own version of "normal" and sometimes reads more like a social site which is a lovely habit to cultivate rather than the isolation we all came from.
For me ..I cant relate to the person I was then 8 months go ..as its like i'm talking about another person...(you remember those dark days of diary one as you posted to me and was a part of my journey)..but now I can relate to normal life and peoples various quirky personalities that shine through after being so crippled by this.....
I stick around out of a deep sense of loyalty because 95% of folk who have supported me through thick and thin were are are all gamblers in recovery,so I like to pop in to newcomers diaries and offer support from the other side to make folk feel welcome when they may think all non gamblers will be judgemental......it's my way of giving back...
My posts are tapering off on my own thread and maybe I shall also put my diary to sleep too...for me it will be like Linus giving up a comfort blanket..
I don't want to forget the person I was as its a timely reminder to never go back...but thanks to this forum and people like yourself..it has been an absolute life saver and I am so glad it exists.
It may have been too late to save my relationship but I am definately probably Gamcares biggest fan....
I wish you well and will always remember your kindness and bravery! for even coming onto my diary in those dark days....
Take care.....you did good.
Rach and Doo xx
Not gambled since my day at the seaside...blown £125 on gambling in total in the past year. Stopped drinking too which i suppose adds to it. Still have the odd blow out and will try to stop that over the next year but not bad over the course of a year.
1 month and 3 days since a £50 slip.
Not gambled recently but i have a dillema. My business is going so well and i have more money saved than i ever had in my life...but it's burning a hole in my pocket and i''ve started to think of gambling again. I won't act on it though.
It's bizarre but i'm a little saddened by the money but i don't know why...it's like there's less to aim for now. Like a meal that doesn't quite fill you up. It's the same as when i used to win £20 with £1 and then put it all back in because i wanted the jackpot and end up with nothing.
This is part and parcel of your recovery. The next bridge to cross, it's a simple as that. We all go from skint that's what generally brings us here, financial rock bottom. It's relatively easier not to gamble when you've no money. After a while we accrue money, this will be a truer test of your character and determination. Do you want to fail now at only the second stage? Of course you don't. The reason why you and your business is doing so well is because you're free from this illness. Do you want to return to those bleak, miserable times again for the sake of a bet, even one. Again of course you don't, you're too sensible for that. So what do you do? Invest the money back into the business, give it to a friend to mind or just sit it out and treat the urges with disdain whilst applauding yourself for showing true strength. You have to decide this. Yet I implore you not to return to even just one 'harmless' bet because that is the quickest way to the poor house and months upon years of further misery and self hatred. You simply have to get through this second stage, those who are strong will, those who are weak will fail, you are strong, keep strong and keep focused.
Steve
That's very true and i never thought of it like that before...
Not gambled since 5th September. Business going well and I've got 5 grand saved....which may not sound much to most but the most I ever had before was a grand and that was like 12 years ago. Also my Mrs has found a job so now I'm not paying for everything it takes a lot of the pressure off me.
Having all that money saved for YOURSELF has to be a great feeling. You should be really proud of this!
NT
Not gambled since that day at the seaside 2 months ago.
No gambling
Well I made 4 months clean but I gambled £4 last night. Managed to hold off for hours but i was out with friends having a drink and after a few too many i caved in and put some change in. I hate the feeling you get when you think a machine is mocking you (useless holds, needing 1 for a bonus and getting 2, all of it really)
Not going to be too harsh though as things are going well for me nowadays.
progress not perfection x
No gambling since the £4. My business is going haywire and i've built up 5 grand in the past 2 months. Thinking about starting more businesses if it doesn't divide my time too much.
The mrs is pregnant too. Had the scan the other day and it was weird seeing the baby moving.
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