Re-building My Life

Tomso

Fella sometimes life gifts rewards worth more than gold.

Today you did that for me.

My friend simply I salute you.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Day 68.

I have been reading one or two diaries tonight and I realised more than ever that I have a lot to be appreciative of. Also, I am proud of the person I am today but more than that I am proud of the person I remained during the really bad times when gambling came close to destroying me.

Today, I realise that although between my ears I was in turmoil during the bad times I managed best I could to not allow it to affect the person I have always been, which is a fairly decent and likeable human being. My wife, my family, my friends and my work colleagues still identified with the nice guy that they had known for a decent length of time. During those bad times I never allowed gambling to change me into a nasty, jealous, vengeful man full of hatred for myself and others.

If I had become a nasty, jealous, vengeful man full of hatred I would probably be spending all weekend on my own with nobody in my life to care for or to spend time with or to enjoy life with. This would lead to a very unhappy existence - a life of regret, a life full of excuses for why I turned out how I turned out. Then again, I was never bad trying to become good. I was good who took a wrong turn and made some wrong choices. Now I am returning to good. Maybe if you are bad to begin with you remain bad forever. I don't know I am starting to ramble now. Anyway, in my opinion gambling is a waste of time.

Tomso.

Hi Tomso.

Well done on reaching day 68. An interesting last post. I guess different people react in different ways to the addiction. You didn't allow it to interfere with the relationship you had with your family and that has to be commended.

Good luck on the next 68 days of abstinence.

Day 69

I must say how great it is to be on this journey again. People often look too far down the road and forget about the here and now. Here and now I am far more productive than I was 69 days ago. Whether it be odd jobs around the house, decorating, car maintenance or general tasks that have been put off for too long. Now I have the time and patience to do the things I used to put off.

The time wasted on gambling is not just the time spent in the bookies but rather the time overall consumed by the thoughts and dread and regret that gambling provided.

I have found myself at times this weekend being on my own and with my own thoughts and thinking that I am happy and content and that is all I have wanted.

Life is being good to me at the moment.

Within the next two weeks I will be a dad again to another baby boy or girl. Who knows. I have things to look forward to.

Tomso.

Hi Tomso... I also sometimes forget to live in the hear and now and spend my time stressing about the future. The future of course hasn't happened yet so no use getting overly stressed about it.

Glad to see that your doing the things that you'd always put off if gambling was upper most in your thoughts. Ive done a bit of decorating and cleaning today as well as a good run... so that's positive. Hope your still enjoying your early morning runs and well done on your gamble free time... Regards... S.A

Hi Tomso

That's brilliant news mate about your little one due to arrive in the new couple of weeks. You must be super proud.

Also, your last post could have been written by myself!! i kid you not.. I feel exactly the same as you, life is been generally pretty ok at the moment and i'm happy and content, productive like yourself and getting lots of jobs done that i'd never ever have got done when gambling.

Also you mention been in the present. That's the key mate. Been mindful and enjoying the present. I've been doing that a lot recently. I used to constantly live in the past and then jump to the future and back to the past.. nightmare.. i'm just taking life for now and enjoying the ride.

Anyway, just wanted to say well done on your 69 days free of gambling.. I'm 92 days. Hopefully we can both hit a YEAR free.. would be some achievement

Take care mate

Craig

Hey Tomso

Lovely to read your last post. You are right, it is all about the "here and now"! I think reading your early posts, you appeared a little consumed about paying things back asap and I wondered if you were being a little optimistic? You are doing so well "right now" and that is all that matters. If you continue to do your best "right now" and not think of the future too much, it will really help you to just achieve what you can for the moment and also enjoy it whilst it is happening.

What a lovely thing to look forward to - a new baby! Wishing you and your partner the best of luck.

Take care and continue to strive ahead as you are doing.

Feb.

Day 72

I amazed at how quickly my 72 days have passed by. For the whole of last year I was in turmoil and yet here I am only 72 days into my recovery and I feel completely different. February has flown by and this time next month I will be heading towards 100 days. That will be a real achievement for me.

So many newcomers on the forum and I wish them all well. I hope each and every one finds strength to commit to their recovery.

I have been thinking about others who have drifted away from the site and I hope they are doing well. I haven't read a post from Wilsy in a while and I hope he is doing well. Castle will be grand no doubt but I worry for Alexis20k5Y. He came back to us for a brief time and I suspect he is having a difficult time at the moment. I hope I am wrong.

Tomso.

Hello Tomso. Great to see you going so well and feeling great. It's great to see the change and how far you've come and still striving forward. Treble figure club is a great club to be in and you'll be a member soon enough that's a great achievement. Well done to you mate. Keep it up!

Day 73.

Two months ago today I quit smoking and I am amazed that after years of trying I am finally on my way. The non gambling days continue to add up also and the amount of personal money I now spend has never been lower. I now have money to pay off my debts but more importantly to treat my wife and kids to nice things or nice days out. Life is being lived and not regretted.

I read today that new legislation comes into play for roulette machines in the bookies where the punter can limit the amount he gambles and time he plays for. This is wild and would never have worked for me. I played with a big bank roll and was fully ready to accept that I might lose three hundred quid on my way to winning five hundred. The longer I played (survived) the better and more confident I became that my numbers would come in big. I would never cut myself off at a limit. Imagine setting a limit to thirty minutes and your time is up and you are down - what problem gambler could accept that. That is control. I was out of control. I have a smile from ear to ear typing this. I am so, so happy that I do not have to stress myself any longer with this rubbish.

Tomso.

Tomso.

tomso

fella great to see your journey grows my friend.

I wrote about that elephant the gambling industry wheeled into room today on my own thread.

In my mind utterly ridiculous!!!!

Still as you say not an issue for us any longer

Keep making the right choice

most of all keep enjoying it.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Hi Tomso... I see your ticking along nicely. I think that roulette machines and all slot machines should be outlawed. There only purpose is to take peoples money. They are cruel. The only win is not to play and your not playing and I'm not playing and many people on this site are not playing either... so that's a good thing. Regards... S.A

Hey Tomso,

Great to see you in high spirits, keep making the right choice and gifting urself and ur loved ones the life you all so deserve.

All the best and keep on keeping on!!

Day at a time

S x

Hi Tomso

As always sending my best wishes to you and your family pleased things are goin well for you long may it continue

Castle2

Day 76

New baby has arrived and I am delighted. Looking forward to my wife and baby returning home and life getting back to normal.

Working hard at not taking things for granted. My baby has arrived during a time when I have peace and happiness in my life without the destruction and uncertainty that gambling brought to my life. I am committed to never allowing gambling back into my life.

Tomso.