Tomso,
Well done keep it going your fighting well against the odss and this time your winning. Feels good to beat the odds huh? I am wishing you all the success and hope to read more tallied up days G free. Rooting and tooting for you. Don't become like me a parentage loser waster and in mega debt. Keep coming here and posting G free days.
All the best for you
CasinoRoyaLoser
Tomso
Fella I get what you wrote today wholeheartedly the honeymoon periods come and go, nothing material to show for them.
But in parrallel the losses to hide are not there either.
Coulda woulda shoulda is something we could all write a book about!!
But in the here and now my friend you are doing something amazing, those milestones will keep coming your way, best thing is you hold recovery, it actually is your choice.
Be very proud of that
Duncs stepping forward never back.
To feel a lull Tomso is to some extent understandable. Yet remember you will never get to see totally and appreciate, just what you have saved by deciding to stop gambling now. We've all made financial mistakes in the past but it never does anyone any good to dwell on them. I'm sure you know all this already but it's easy to reflect with regret. Often 'getting out of jail' feels better than a win but you have nothing to show for it. All a matter now of deciding what you need to take forward, thinking wise, to the next level. I'm thoroughly aware financial pressures are relentless with a young family but don't beat yourself up, you have done brilliantly lately, you did it all for yourself and those you hold dear. Only people on here know how difficult, frustrating and mind wrecking it is. You've saved a lot if people, including yourself, from potential misery. Be proud, and look forward with relief to a pleasant future.
Steve
To feel a lull Tomso is to some extent understandable. Yet remember you will never get to see totally and appreciate, just what you have saved by deciding to stop gambling now. We've all made financial mistakes in the past but it never does anyone any good to dwell on them. I'm sure you know all this already but it's easy to reflect with regret. Often 'getting out of jail' feels better than a win but you have nothing to show for it. All a matter now of deciding what you need to take forward, thinking wise, to the next level. I'm thoroughly aware financial pressures are relentless with a young family but don't beat yourself up, you have done brilliantly lately, you did it all for yourself and those you hold dear. Only people on here know how difficult, frustrating and mind wrecking it is. You've saved a lot if people, including yourself, from potential misery. Be proud, and look forward with relief to a pleasant future.
Steve
Apologies for repeating my post so many times, can't work it out because I haven't used my phone all evening until now. Maybe I sat on it or something or there is a glitch somewhere on the forum. Who knows? If it happens again then it's not me cos I'm going asleep now. Night all.
Hey thanks for the for the positive post in my diary. It changed my outlook on the day i have since written a different post in there with different attitude. You and others really helped me today. I really feel the pain today and sometimes just a few positive words from people like you can swing my moods to positive ones. Thanks you mate. It hits home hard exactly why I you others are doing this.
CL
Day 108
I have finally had to admit defeat in my bid to keep my beloved car and have changed vehicles to a far bigger and more spacious car. The wife is very pleased with this decision. I now realise that I am a big old dad who drives a people carrier. Enough said about that.
It is time for me to start bringing other things into my life again. I miss my boxing and need to get back into that. It does so much for me getting all that pumped up adrenaline out of my system. Also need to find a pattern for my running. I went out this morning and feel great because of it if only I could find time for this everyday.
Happy enough with my lot so far this year without the drama and destruction of gambling. Just need to compliment this now by getting my teeth into something that I love and can be motivated by. Posted S.A. earlier in the week about his marathon plans for the year and I think I might do the Inverness marathon again. It was totally amazing and a lovely weekend spent in the Highlands and now that I drive a tank I've got loads of space for the wife and kids and all our stuff.
Tomso.
Hi Tomso... and good to see that your continue to go well on the not gambling front.
As for marathons, after an intense burst of training in the first few weeks on the new year, ive eased off a fair bit, partly because of the long cycles I do going to work, am just too knackered to then go out running..so just recently running has been confined to the weekends. Am not gonna do a spring marathon this year... because am not ready for a sub-4 hour time.. which is my goal. I usually do the north dorset village marathon (a pretty and rural run)... last year I got sunstroke and was sick lol... but atleast I finished.
I will probably do the Wolves marathon in the autumn. Its not the prettiest of routes but its near to where I live. I'd love to do marathons in different parts on the country but I just don't have the money to do that. I should use this as motivation to find ways to earn more money.
Anyway am rambling... sounds like getting back to boxing will compliment your running nicely. Regards... S.A
Tomso
Fella glad to read the decisions in your life are bountyfull and although some are maybe not what you want but what you need,I guess that's all part of growing up lol.
I often thought that my Sarah had another baby to look after all the time I went at it, actually in truth I was worse than a child, petullent, never listened to great advice and the worst of all traits the selfishness I let into my life through gambling.
Today I do believe we live the polar opposite.
Regards the running and the time you need, my advice make the time fella, we could always find time to waste in front of a machine to add destruction to our lives, so today make time in a positive fashion.
Me today off to work shortly, have made a half hour by getting up whilst the house sleeps to come here and top up my resolve.
An amazing thing,recovery the gift that never stops giving
Duncs stepping forward never back.
Day 110
Great weekend this weekend. No gambling and no thoughts of gambling. Not interested in horses so grand national weekend has never been a problem for me.
Went swimming with the oldest boy on Saturday morning and starting him with swimming lessons in three weeks. Also, went to see a football club that runs coaching for 4-6 year olds and will be starting that in a couple of weeks as well. I love doing stuff life that with my kids. We are most definitely an active family who like to be fit and enjoy sports and the great outdoors. Disappointed that I am not allowed to take both boys swimming. Need two adults for that and the misses doesn't do swimming pools.
Amazing afternoon at the football yesterday. Dead and buried at half time and heading for the trap door only to turn it all around in the second half Roy of the Rovers style to take all three points. You simply cannot beat that for entertainment. The trumpets who left at half time once again make a mockery of their support for the club. We never leave early. Old boy beside me leaves five minutes early every week even when we are winning. Mental.
Still shattered with getting up at three in the morning with the baby. She is such a little princess you can't get upset about it. She is rocking away in a little chair beside me right now all dressed in pink while listening to some classics on YouTube while I type away.
No matter how tired I am tomorrow morning I am getting up at crazy o'clock to get out a run. The light mornings are upon us and I love them. Me, the birds and blue skies without any wind. Crazy that but the best running conditions are always half five in the morning in the spring/summer. Cannot beat it.
The biggest sign of my recovery so far during this quit happened today. I went shopping and bought myself some nice new clothes. During action this never happens and every penny is a penny I can't afford to spend on anything other than that d**n roulette machine. Not today.
Anyway, as this post should suggest I am in a good place just now and feel happy. Tomorrow is a different day and I don't know what will happen but I do know if I want to continue to be happy I need to make the right decisions no matter what else happens in my ever changing life.
Tomso.
Hi Tomso,
Wow , thank you for posting to me after all this time, bought a tear to my eye and also made me realise how powerful and strong this forum can be for people 🙂
Great to see you notching up those days and it's giving me strength to really try again (how many times !) to give it another good shot!
Love the time your spending with the family and it's sounds great all that you do.
I'm so proud of you and imagine the look of the little ones faces as Dad attempts to show them the ways to the great outdoors .
Footy , oh yes I agree , only true fans stay to the end no matter what the score and it's a great feeling when they come back from a bad start , bloody penalties yesterday (blind ref, but maybe I'm bias lol ) was a pity but proud of my Hammers :-).
Will be good to see those days ever increasing and it really was a boost to get a post from someone I've been with from the start.
Thank you
Take care
Be strong
Lucy
Day 116
Quick post this morning because I haven't posted all week. Things are fine but hectic. Very tired and surviving on about five hours sleep per day. Not very healthy but things will change in a few weeks I think.
No gambling and that is the most important thing.
Tomso.
Tomso
Fella glad to read you are still gamble free, because what you write is so true
To arrest the punt is the most important thing,because without it we would not be able to focus on anything else.
The gift of abstinence is the one selfish choice that will actually gift those folk in our life we profess to care about too.
Keep making the right one
Abstain and maintain
Duncs stepping forward never back.
Tomso
Thanks for your post
To answer your question the answer has to be yes not been as active on the forum played a part in my relapse , this site is amazing the power and strength it brings I underestimated , my mind played the usual trick by fooling me into thinking that one small bet won't hurt and of course that was it I couldn't stop not until the cycle of destruction had passed all this I'm sure you can relate too fortunately the financial loss was not disastrous but it could have been and that's the fear going forward hence why I made the decision to post more again
As we always say recovery is bespoke so for yourself only you can decide what's best , I have always struggled with the balance of this site but for now I know I need to stay close and work through this period
The positives for us both is we have so much knowledge and know how to deal with slips which I accept will happen from time to time we are only human and mistakes will be made
We both will keep trying that I know
Castle2
Day 134
Not posted in a while and only checked in today to read updates from Castle and Wilsy who I have been side by side with on this journey for a long time. Two very decent people I hope can find steady and safe ground once again on their journey of recovery.
I have always thought that Castle and I are two peas in a pod. Many things he types are similar to the thoughts that I have. He mentioned yesterday how he sometimes has an unhealthy relationship with this forum and that is exactly how I have felt in the past month, hence my lack of posts.
I love this forum and it has helped me more than once bring peace and calm back to my life. The problem is sometimes I spend too much time reading diaries than is probably healthy. The wife is delighted that I am not down the bookies playing roulette but instead I was in the dining room hiding behind the laptop keeping all my thoughts to myself and still withdrawn to an extent.
This month I have been happy and doing very well. The light nights have opened the door to better running, some golf and I have re-joined the boxing gym. Yawn, yawn I have given up smoking again for the millionth time and even managed a night out last week with lots of drink and no cigs, which is probably the first time I have managed this.
My priority very much remains to not gamble. This come first always. I have to admit though that I am probably happier now than I have been in a decent length of time. Going to bed without gambling worry is magnificent. Getting up without gambling worry is fabulous. One day at a time and this will continue.
No room for complacency. One bet and I will be totally gubbed. No doubt about that. I will never be able to control this. Each day I try very hard to not hurt myself with the evil self destructive side of me constantly trying to undo all my good work. I suppose as compulsive people we all have a bit of this.
No bet today.
Tomso.
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