Read my last page.... how could I?!!

Thanks everyone for your kind words of encouragement. Am still gamble free - HOWEVER I thought I had a little money in my bank account and when I checked it last night, I was horrified! Some of the sites I was on A WEEK AGO didn't clear in my account until yesterday! I was always under the impression that making a deposit to a site was instantly out of my bank account but that's not the case! Am livid - seems that my genuine attempts (and so far successful) to completely stop this addiction are thwarted! I WONT GIVE IN......the cheating sites have made me more resolute in my determination!!! GOOD LUCK TO US ALL AND LETS FIGHT THE FIGHT. We can beat this thing. Helen. X

Hi Helen

Well done on staying strong and positive

Suzanne xx

Well done, please stay strong, together we can beat this illness! I have managed to hide my gambling from my friend and family. Wish they could understand what I'm going through. Reading other diaries does help.

Night night

Annie x

Hi Helen,

I'm new to this (three days in now) and will be posting my own diary soon, but I've been reading everyone else's in the meantime they really help me to focus on recovery so please do keep posting and stay strong. I think you've showed tremendous strength in returning here after minor slip ups and as with everyone's diary that I've read I see the similarities with my own situation and I'm in awe of commitment people are showing to recovery whilst going through the hell of compulsive gambling.

I don't think I'm well placed to give advice just yet but I did think I had one thing to offer. You have mentioned that the source of a relapse was a bonus offer email coming to your email account which in a moment of weakness you pursued. i think the gambling block software is a great idea (I'm doing the same thing) but as well as this I noticed that although the casinos I excluded from (whom I specifically asked to remove my personal data and to remove me from any mailing lists and they responded that they had) will still send me promotional offers, or more sneakily their "partner" casinos will send introductory offers ...

So. I've set rules on my email account such that any email with "slots", "casino", "Vegas", "partner lounge", "bet" in the senders email address are immediately deleted (you can also filter on the contents of the email itself or the email subject /title) ive set one rule for each if the words above. I have the option ticked such that it's "deleted dont even place it in my deleted items folder" ,I did this partly out if shame at still seeing the emails that remind me of gambling and the terrible things I've done, but also as a safe guard against the situation you describe. Essentially I want to see NOTHING to do with casinos that might remind me if gambling.

It's a small piece of advice but I think lots of little things like this can build up into effctive barriers. If you don't know how to set rules on your email inbox (sorry I'm really not trying to patronise here so slap me if i am 🙂 ) then reply or post on one of my threads and tell me which email program you use (I'm using windows live mail / outlook) and ill look at it and see where the rules settings are and if they allow you to so this (most if not all do allow this type of filter)

Keep up the recovery, you are doing brilliantly

FM.

Hi everyone! Thanks again for your recent posts into my diary - most helpful - so far, I'm doing well. FALLENMAN - I have to admit to being a technophobe! Haven't a clue as to how the "filtering system" works. All I know is I use googlemail - it's from my phone so that it keeps me off the laptop which for me, is temptation. Fortunately, I can't gamble via my phone. Being gamble free for over a week now is beginning to show me a new perspective on the whole hideous business and it is this......

I have read many, many posts on this site. ALL are of course coming from people who are, like me, desperate to ditch this destructive habit. What strikes me is that all of us (I dare say this!) present as educated and articulate people! For the life of me, I can't understand why WE have succumbed to this soul-destroying addiction upon which we teeter on the very brink of madness! Are these the actions of intelligent people?! It's obvious that the gambling demon will knock on anyone's door and lure us in to a life of loss - financial and emotional, not to mention the total destruction of one's self esteem. BUT by the same token, why can't we accept that anyone with a modicum of intelligence should without hesitation, kick this demon into touch without a second thought? It baffles me. I know we're ALL here to help and support each other in our individual efforts to be free of this dreadful addiction - I think we have to start (or certainly consider) that we are, EACH AND EVERY ONE OF US, worth much more than this!! Our self esteem and credibility are the most valuable things we possess in our lives....LETS ALL REBUILD THEM!! I want to stay strong and I WILL NOT GAMBLE. I want to get back to the person I used to be!!! LETS ALL DO THIS! Helen. Xxx

Hi Helen,

I have taken a look at Gmail and it is a bit irritating in that it doesnt allow you to set up a filter based on a partial senders address i.e. you would need to type the entire address into the filter which I dont think helps you much. It does allow you to filter on words in the Subject line (title of email) or the message body (the email itself) so you could still set it to exclude an email cotaining ”free spins” or ”introductory bonus” etc - there is a possibility you might lose some genuine emails this way I guess but its up to you. To set the filters you require you need to do the following:

1) Log into Gmail online via your laptop. I dont think the app on your phone allows access to the settings you need but once you have set these rules online, they will also apply to the email you recieve on your phone or tablet device.

2) Navigate to the ”Settings” page (link top right of Inbox page)

3) When you are on the settings page you will see the following tabs: General , Accounts ,Labels, Filters , Forwarding and POP/IMAP - From these click the ”Filters” tab

4) Use the ”Subject” Line to filter on the emails Heading, use the ”Has the Words” line to filter on the body of the message. You could also use both of these combined if you wished.

5) Think of the trigger phrases you want to filter on e.g. if you wanted to kill all emails with Bonus Offer, or Free Spins in the wording, you would enter in the Has the words field: ”Free Spins” OR ”Bonus Offer”. The key here is to surround the phrase you want with speech marks and seperate each phrase with OR. In this way your mail will filter out on all these phrases.

6) When you have added all the phrases you think you need click the ”next step” button.

7) Next you decide what to do with the messages you have filtered - I would tick ”Delete It”.

8) Finally click ”Create Filter”

9) Gmail should list how many and which filters you currently have in place at this point.

There is also a test facility which allows you to try the filter out on existing messages.

I hope this helps. Also, I echo your thoughts on gambling, the posts on here are not written by degenerates and idiots there are eloquently written and heartfelt stories here. This is not the prose of a stupid person, you would think we would have the good sense to resist and acknowledge that gambling can ONLY lead to pain and suffering, its not just a bit of fun. I cant answer the question however, I think its just part of the human condition - we are flawed enough to succumb to certain things regardless of our intelligence, and other intelligent but greedy and corrupt humans know that they can turn that into profit..... like you I no longer wish to allow them to profit from me.

Best Regards and keep up the recovery.

FM.

Thanks FM! I will act on your advice re filtering .... that should keep me busy for a few hours. You've explained the process so clearly .... many thanks! Take care and keep posting..... my very best wishes for your TOTAL recovery. Helen. X

Hi Helen,

Thanks a lot for your post on my diary, I really needed your kind words of advice yesterday and really did help pick me up out of a hole.

Glad to see your are still fighting those urges! I also gambled on online slots and still receiving annoying emails offering free spins! I just laugh at them, they are only about 2p a spin which isn't very generous given the amount we wager!

Keep up the good work

James

Hello Diary! Haven't gambled since we spoke last....2 weeks free now. Mind, no money in bank account - had a few urges tho! Am I lost?! Hope not - have been good at giving out the advice on this site - the last thing I need is to end up with egg on my face!! Pay day for me

On the 5th - so many debts to pay out of it - won't leave me with much for a month but should be plenty as long as I stay off lap top in search for somewhere I'm not excluded from!! I WILL NOT GAMBLE - FEELING STRONG. God bless us all! Helen. X

Hi Helen

2 weeks of not gambling is great

You are doing it by abstaining and maintaining one day at a time

Stay strong and focused

Take care

Suzanne xx

Hi Helen,

Have just read your diary and it has really helped thanks, just struggling after a relapse but having read this has stopped me from doing the usual, might go and have an early night now instead of stay up until 3am gambling like I have done when I usually have nothing to do on a Saturday evening.

Well done for 2 weeks, keep it up, no complacency.

Dan.

Ok and I apologise before I start....(still not gambled so keep ur hair on!) am going to be utterly boring now so feel free to switch off my diary when you feel like. It's occurred to me - I gambled(or gamble) as a result of unhappiness. Isn't gambling a comfort? A substitute? For what? Ah well - my husband and I went through a seriously difficult patch in our marriage. - I truely believed he didn't love me. His obsession with work, his own hobbies which have never included me. I met someone.... I was besotted and thought he felt the same way. Cut to the "chase" this person is still in my life tho not to the same extent.....I realise my husband and I are so together.... We talked it all thro.... will always be together. The gambling kicked in somewhere along this line.... Can't remember exactly when.... My gambling was such a comfort. Sorry, am rambling.... had a few drinks but still a lot better than being in the lap top! No need to reply to this nonsense!!! Thanks. Helen. X

Hi Helen,

I can truly understand what you are saying, I get lonely and it can sometimes be a comfort, but also a very destructive relationship. We both know, as does everyone else on here, just how destructive. So keep up the good work and stay strong. Ty for your support

Take care and best wishes

Cheryl xxx

Hi Helen,

I've not read the entirety of your diary so forgive me if this is already taken care of - but blocking software on your laptop would instantly solve your problem with the "free bonus" type emails. It wouldn't stop these emails triggering an urge, but would stop you from acting upon it.

This step was an invaluable one for me. It really helped me to stay on the straight and narrow. With an addiction, it is realistic to expect to have weak moments. As internet gambling access is pretty much 24/7 it makes sense to have a block in place for those moments of weakness.

Wishing you the best of luck in your recovery,

f x

Hi Helen

I agree with you that gambling seems like a comfort, a crutch when things are bad but have realised that after the gambling binge, guess what? The problems are still there. I blew 4,000 in one afternoon on online slots the day my daughter was told she had cancer. Did it help? No except to take my mind off things for a while. Problem still there after the binge? Oh yes and 4000 down (not even spare money, desperately needed money for something else). I should add that she is in the all clear now.

What I am trying to say is that you have realised what can trigger gambling and now realised how much better life is without it.

Keep up the good work.

Elfie x