Read my last page.... how could I?!!

You are an inspiration to me. I follow your progress and you are doing so well. I hope I can be as strong as you. Take care.... Heather x

Thank you CHERYL for your post...I so hope you are feeling a little better and much more positive....you MUST be determined because you are still posting. That means an awful lot and remember.....all those feelings you have GO TOWARDS your total recovery.....be strong! God bless! Helen. X

Oh and HEATHER....thanks to you too for your lovely words....stay strong and focused. WE CAN BEAT THIS AWFUL ADDICTION. Keep posting. I haven't checked.....hope you have started a diary? Helen. X

Hi Helen,

Although I can't help myself it doesn't mean I don't want to support you and others. Just wish I could have been strong like you and I wish you luck and strength for your continued recovery from this totally devastating addiction. If you read my last post you will see where I am at

Take care and best wishes

Cheryl xxx

Morning Helen

Hope you are ok, well done on abstaining particularly after payday. Keep strong and stay focused

Take care and best wishes

Cheryl xxx

Good morning everyone and dear diary! WILL NOT GAMBLE..... am feeling stronger each day. The BEST thing about this "no-gambling lark" is actually recovery. When I am (was) gambling and totally spent up and had gambled any winnings and then more - I felt so ill! I felt physically sick, shaky, sweaty, tormented with worry about my finances - yet still, could think of nothing else other than getting money into my account to try win back the 10000's I have lost. This is going to be a hard few months for me (even tho it will take me years to pay off my debts) but having said that - I feel as though I'm recovering from a serious illness and I tell you in all honesty, I MUST have been seriously ill. Looking at life, taking more time for family and friends without staring 'zombie-like' at a screen watching spinning things and pressing buttons to throw money away - it's a genuine sickness! I always believed that the word 'disease' when applied to gambling was a euphemism for 'habit'.. I now truely believe that HABIT is a word used by the most cynical....compulsive gambling is most definitely a DISEASE! I'm sorry to ramble on but I wanted to say....it's not that long since I abstained (17 Aug) but if I can see an improvement in my health and well-being so soon (even tho still very hard up) IF I CAN DO IT ANYBODY CAN! I feel I am the stage where there are two things I MUST remember which are vital to my recovery:

1. Don't get complacent and think I've recovered and

2. Forget about the 10000's I've lost.

I will stay focused on those points and NOT GAMBLE. I hope anyone, at whatever stage in recovery they are, might understand my sentiments.....get well, that's the first thing....life will go on! WE ALL HAVE TO STAY STRONG.!

CHERYL.... hope you are feeling bit better and staying positive. You are a great support to everyone here. PLEASE continue with your fight and get YOUR health and well-being back where it should be...with YOU. Take care everyone....this is the start of a new week. LETS GO FOR IT!! Helen. X

well done helen and thanks for your ongoing support

tri

A very big well done to you Helen for another day gamble free and I could not put your words about this disease any better keep strong and although it's 4 weeks today for me I know I have a he'll of a long way to go but 1 day at a time and we all can beat this disease thanks and keep strong x

Well said hun. Those b*****d slots will take us down no more. Keep going. Stay strong!!! I think like you this site has and is our saviour. Running around in secret hell is exactly that. Take care hun xx

Hi Helen

Very well done on your recovery so far, brilliant to see you still have a very positive attitude to this recovery, I think this is crucial.

Being complacent is always a worry, it's like the devil on your shoulder telling you that you are 'better' and able to gamble responsibly. We all know this can never happen or we wouldn't be on here! And you're right, that money is long gone, the temptation to win it back will only see the deb increase - as I have found out yesterday!

Keep it up, you're doing really well!

James

Hi Helen

Your posts are getting stronger and more positive and determined

Stay focused moving forwards to a happier healthier and saner life

That's definitely worth abstaining and maintaining for

Well done

Suzanne xx

true suzanne

isn't that a good reason to stop gambling?

Hi Helen,

Ive not been able to post for a few days, but am back now. Just thought I would catch up and say hi, and well done. Your last journal entry is very positive and something I definitely feel myself - when gambling there is a low level stress there all the time, and of course after a bad loss you feel physical sick, and wrack your brains as to what just happened. Also I felt that even when I won, I was consumed with guilt and the secrecy required to keep the win a secret was almost incentive just to lose the money again.

I am happier, and feel better, for not gambling. I have to say the debt i have accrued does temper this happiness slightly as I spend time stressing and worrying about that, but i am trying to do as you say, and forget about the debts for now.

Anyway. Well done you !, and keep on keeping on.

FM

Hello all and dear diary!!! ThNks Suzanne, FM and everyone else who reads my diary.... always need continued support and encouragement....there's nothing quite like it!!! NO GAMBLING FOR ME!! Am definitely feeling so much better - no stressing out - just anger at what I've lost. Spent day ironing.... all those shirts..... and to crown it all, ironing board broke!!! Stay strong everyone....can't spend so much time on forum this evening....got visitors (I'm in the loo)!!! Keep chins up!! I WILL NOT GAMBLE!!! Helen.!,

Hi Helen

Well done on your continued abstention you are doing so well.

Take care and best wishes

Cheryl xxx