Hi folks,
Day 6 without a bet, feels longer than that.I've experienced a range of emotions, just waiting for a flood, I am close to tears not because of money but because I've let myself down and my wife. The monetary cost was not as great as losing my wife's trust. On a postitive note she sent me a text today saying we can get through this together, I must admit that brought me close to tears, I'm emotional at the best of times, I'd felt alone for the last few days and only for the posts I've read here I think things could have been different. GA meeting on Thursday which I am looking forward to, just being with people who know how I feel will be a plus without having to provide explanations for my actions. Till next time.
Paddy
Just think tomorrow will be a WHOLE week without gambling.
You're doing excellently.
Will be interested to know how you get on at Royston. Can't make Thursday but will no doubt be along at some point soon.
Thanks for you post Steve, trying to be positive.
To ratrat, will post on Friday how I get on
Well done paddy 1 week today .I know its hard but you sound like youve got the support you need .Im nearly 3 weeks along now without gambling and its been a nightmare.No point in lying but my head has got better as its gone on also the emotions have settled down.I still remember how i felt the first week,I think i spent most of it in tears and hating what i did.Remember your not alone and read and post on here as much as you can,I found that a great help.Take care mate and stay strong .Betunfair
Hi Betunfair,many thanks for your post, they mean a lot to me. Things are a little easier, my head is still messed up but I'm looking forward to tomorrows GA meeting. I had a gambling dream last night, it felt like it was so real, fortunately woke up this morning, knowing it had'nt happened.In for the long haul.
Paddy
Hi, tonights the night I've been feeling calm most of the week but now I am getting jittery knowing that tonight may decide my fate. I am going to GA with an open mind. I don't have too many problems sharing stuff, so I am hopeful. Feel a bit teary and I don't have the urge to bet so can't really work out whats up with me. Will post later.
Paddy
Good luck for tonight.
f.
Hi Paddy
Hope all goes well for you tonight
Look foward to hearing all about it
Take Care
Stay Strong
Kim xx
Hi to all of you, your support has been of great help, got to a GA meeting last night and what a relief, it was great to chat face to face with people who understand me. I have a clear head today, no gambling rubbish floating around,today I am the person I want to be.
Paddy
Well done paddy glad to hear your getting your head together and the meeting went well.Take care Betunfair
Hi to you all,
Yesterday suffered a bit of anticlimax after the meeting, feeling really sorry for myself and thinking about ending it all, even when I have so much going for me. My wife is being very supportive, I still have money and life could be much worse. Woke up in a better frame of mind this morning.One of the GA members that I met on Thursday
rang me this morning, it was great to speak to him.I went to visit a friend this morning, he was my regular golf partner, to cut a long story short, I felt I had to confess that I had cheated on two occasions to win golf matches and had felt guilty afterwards and too embarressed to confess when I had won. Although surprised, he said it was fine and when was I going to start playing again. I needed to clear my head as it has been bugging me for a while and I really respect him as a person.It was'nt easy but I am glad I've done something about it. Regards,
Paddy
Hi, I am trying to remove all aspects of gambling from my life. I collect the money for the work lottery syndicate of which I am no longer a part,never considered lottery to be gambling,strange.I also used to run a football game for about 13 of us, did'nt consider that gambling either, having read some of GA's literature I can now see how it was creeping up on me. Life at home is better and though I'm sure there are reservations about my recovery, at least we are functioning like a family. I believe since I took the first step and admitted I am powerless over gambling and my life was unmanageable, I have gained a new freedom. My head has cleared and though I have had thoughts of bets in my head I have not acted on them.What a difference a day makes.Regards,Paddy
Today has been difficult, my head keeps flirting back to gambling deeds that came off. Rubbish I know, I don't want to bet and I am happy to face what comes today. An employee of the firm I gambled with was coming to Newmarket and wanted a meeting, I told him what had started as fun has now got out of control and I no longer want to have an account. Funny, felt better after the call. Found someone to come the meeting with me on Thursday, should make the journey more interesting.
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