Reece's recovery Diary

Day 2

finished my day shift already which is Great

still thinking about all the monies lost and the stress off my parents finding out and my girlfriend as I'm meant to be going to fright night for Halloween but with no money

now the hard bit comes as I need to kill time but I will not bet!!

also just come back from w**********l as I self excluded myself AGAIN!!!

Hi people if your reading worse possible day of my life today

had a great shift today at work finished early was home by 12

Went to w**********l got my self excluded as you can see from previous post,

fell asleep when I got back I was woken up by my mother as my hard working father who has done everything for me brought me two cars for both my 18 and 21st just for me to go behind his back so disgustingly to take his hard working cash just to gamble away has found out his money is missing so now I've been kicked out but thankfully my auntie has taken me in for the night, I can't explain how I feel right now tears and tears just want to run away from life I'm so sorry to my father for my disgusting behaviour I'm a thief he said I deserve every bad word his said about me I'm not looking for sympathy just people who haven't got to the extent of doing that just do not cross that line, not only have I been kicked out and burn bridges with him I've now been dumped in my 2 year relationship by my beautiful girlfriend I don't know what to do because she was everything to me but this horrible horrible gambling has taken over my life any advice guys?

Hi, not sure what to say really mate as I doubt anything is going to make you feel better. All I know is that gambling makes people do a lot of things they're not proud of - I certainly have. You need to regain people's trust again and that won't happen overnight but maybe people will calm down a bit and give you a chance to explain why you've behaved the way you have. There is no magic button make to everything OK again though, something we all would like.

You're only young, in a few years time this could just be a bad time you've moved on from but it's had work - although there is plenty of people out there to help you get through it.

this can be a bad addiction reece

many blame themselves for gambling addiction and yes the fight has to start with me but there's lots of help

counselling, places like GA and support

hope you get some help

tri

Thank you all for your replies appreciate the support just need to get my self back on track take each day at a time!!

Day 3 at work plodding a long wishing I could turn back 5 years ago

stayed at my aunties last night lookin at my lovely cousins who are 7 and 11 wishing I was that age again

my other aunties salon was robbed and burgald today heart breaking disgusting thinking to myself I'm no better after taking money which wasn't mine from my father

thinking about him today feel horrible and to my lovely now ex girlfriend as she works for my auntie at the shop

it's starting to kick in that I'm losing everything not a good day really but hey works a horrible shift aswell going to be here allday but it's sort of taking things of my mind!!

Day 4 haven't thought about gambling because of the consequences of gambling that I've lost my misses and kicked out my dad phoned me last night but didn't want to answer but found out why he wants me to go home and wants me to be honest tell him everything and just be open I'm scared if I'm honest I feel so ashamed and embarrassed and guilty I think I should leave it couple more days but if he wants that then I owe him that surely any advice guys?

Day 5 feeling the ache about my misses a little bit still not speaking to the old man which hopefully soon I can break that ice and have a chat really awkward but hopefully next couple days we can talk not thinking about gambling I'm certain it ain't going to happen bit more of a positive day meet misses for coffee had big chat were going to work on our relationship take things slow has lifted me a bit I can't lose this have to fight for everything build bridges with everyone show them I'm not a pathetic gambler

I WILL DO THIS whatever it takes to get my life back get the real Reece back !!!! ,!

Hi Reese, Well done on coming here and hopefully you can turn your life around. There are good people on here take their advice and stick round here no matter what. I have been fighting gambling addiction since I was 16 and to tell you the truth I have done all you have and more. This disease makes devils out of good people. I don't know why I gamble but I do know I have the power to stop. It's easier if you break things down to as small a time frame as you need. I leave you with this life will improve imeasureably once you don't gamble but that is no guarantee that you will always remain gamble free. Good Luck mate and hopefully we can get recovery together.

Hi Reece, it sounds like you are making some positive strides in beating this.

Some advice I would give is in regards to speaking to your father. I would do this as soon as possible, don't put it off because you feel ashamed or awkward, as those feels will just grow with time and make it harder to get that relationship back. He has reached out to you, go to him and talk. He will listen and you will probably have to hear some harsh things but acknowledge them and take it and rebuild that relationship before it's too late.

i hope your recovery continues to be positive and you stay strong.

Buckeroo

Thanks again for the great support

day 6/7

day 6 was an okay day still no gamble got back from work and thought I'd take the other half to cinema unfortunately she finished work late so we went to nandos instead which was nice but she had phone calls from her dad say to keep away etc etx which is upsetting but still fighting for our relationship

come home dad turned round and said I think it's time for our chat which took a lot of my chest opened up about everything and he told me how he feels but it's the route on a forward steps of building our relationship up again

day 7 didn't wake up for work woops but boss understands why I never went in as I was up still at 3am that night talking to dad he's ok about it I have a lot of support around me which is given me another positive step because I now feel like I can talk and go to absolutely anyone !

everythinf treated myself to few bits of clobber and not even worrying about it slowly but hopefully surely I'm getting somewhere

thanks!

Day 8

had a good day finished work early again managed to have no urges even doing nothing hopefully that can keep like that which I doubt very much

went to the doctors basically I've been referred to physcosics team 🙁

see how this goes down

went to fireworks with missus but you know what woman are like they take ages so we was late got there and saw about 30 seconds worth of fireworks then went for dinner I love her too bloody bits just hope we can keep strong through it all

Day 9

had a lovely but wet evening with my girlfriend actually got to see some fireworks lol

looking good with us ATM

Upwards and onwards

Day 10 on my second shift of the day

waiting for tommorows shift to lol

just trying to get the money in and giving my gf and family what I can mums birthday today happy birthday ma lol

jist want to get out of debt now

still haven't gambled not bothered me going doctors being able to say things to dad with out being secretive as there's nothing to hide is helping a lot!!

still great support from my family