Regaining control after slip

Hi blues, you have come back to the right place. If you keep posting on a regular basis then the urges will subside over time. Maybe you started getting back on with life and forget the blocks etc that are needed to stop permanently. It sounds like you care very much for your family and you have proved this by paying some of your debts back. Start again, put blocks in place, post and read as much as you can. You've done it before you can do it again. Russ

Thanks for your words, maybe complacency was the reason I dont know, but we must all try to resist the temptation I guess. When I told my father in 07, his reaction was "Just stop", my mother just went to pieces and my wife was angry. Financially, it doesnt affect my parents, but my mother felt she had failed in some way - I told her she hadn't , I had been an idiot qand will put it right - that was end of the story with my parents actually, hasnt been mentioned since. My wife goes through spells of anger, especially when times are tight which I understand totally and realise just how lucky I am to have her. I didnt gamble yesterday, the urges are of medium strength today, but I dont have the funds with me so this is GREAT! Here's to day two...All the best to everyone on this forum, we can beat it

Hi Blues, I to are regaining control after a few slips, i don't really know why i went back to gambling but all i know is after such self distruction it is definetely over. I think we, "or in my case", want to self distruct from things that may have happened in our life, a bit like someone who self harms, we know it is no good for us but we keep on doing it, beating our selves up! I had issues in my life and i know for a fact i turned to gambling to try and make me feel better! What a waste of a lot of money!! I hope over time your urges cease! I have only stopped gambling since 4th August and since then had money paid into my account and although i think about it most days the urge is not very strong!! It has actually sickened me to the back teeth now and i am spending all my money i get in the future on my family and home! Who knows why i started and who knows why my urge is now so strong to stop! Life is a funnything! So Blues don't be tempted anymore put your family first! L X

Further 60 lost today, feel like s**t...fresh start tomorrow? maybe some of us are not strong enough to beat it and may get used to having zero cash and zero life

Hey blues,

I was at that zero cash and zero life point for a few months before I could turn the corner. The very bottom end of depression matched with no way out I could discern at the time is how it felt.

If you aren't strong enough to beat it by yourself, then put some blocks in the way. Let your wife control the finances, if it's gambling with cash at the bookies, get your bank to reduce the cash limit on your card to the bare minimum, or if it's online, swap your debit card for a cashcard.

I remember that last slip I madeso vividly, I try and remember it when I get the temptation. Going from 6 months wages up to 6 months wages down in 3 hours online was ludicrous for me, and I hate myself for that.

Take it one step at the time bro, you will feel like the lowest of the low at the moment, but *** that fresh start, and move forward. You are strong enough to beat it with the right blocks in place.

All the best,

Ryan

Blues,

Seem to remember us poating on each others diaries back in 2007. Like you, I thought I had it beat - WRONG! Like you, I thought one bet would not hurt - WRONG! Like you, I thought I could now gamble sensibly - you know the answer.

However, you're back and you know why - cos deep down you HAVE to beat this thing and that can only be done one way - NEVER gambling again. Yes, you're going to need all those blocks in place, plenty of will power and loads of support BUT you can do this. Hand over the finances, lose the cards, self-exclude and install Gambloc and then you're a little closer to a much better life.

Keep posting mate & stay strong.

All the best

Hatch

Blues,

I feel your pain. Keep posting on this site and get back to basics. You know what you need to do: Put the controls in place. Did you mention it to your family about the slip ? I'm guessing not.... I would recommend mentioning it to them as it will help you. It may not sound like it, but it will.

P.s. A recovering gambler should not have access to £400. After this happened, you should not have been carrying £60 around with you. I know, it is easy for me to say, but I think it is worth looking at those things again.

Best of strength,

Brian

Folks,

Thanks so much for your replies, given me a boost. You are right, I shouldnt have access to that sort of money, but as a gambler, we find a way. Life is spiralling pretty quick at the minute, but I know what I have to do. Funny thing is , this time last year was when I had the last major slip-this time isnt so bad....yet,

Hope you all the best of luck in your recoveries...

Darren (Blues)

Dont think rock bottom has quite been hit, but i'm listening to GA stories at this moment and i have blown more money today - my children and wife do not need to suffer. Take care all

After losing more money yesterday, I went to my first GA meeting last night. The weird thing is, that even when I was in the bookmakers, I knew I had to and wanted to attend GA yesterday evening. I told my wife of my slip yesterday evening, she is understandably upset and has told me to move out. My two children were crying and it really was one of the lowest moments of my life, made s**t by this horrible disease. There are no excuses for me, I WANT to stop, GA was the first step of a long, horrible painful road, but listening to the stories last night made me realise I am a compulsive gambling addict. I am normally a shy kind of person when it comes to public speaking, but I was asked if I wanted to share anything last night and must have spoke for 10 minutes about my journey so far. People seemed to understand and I am going to another meeting this evening to see what else I can learn from people who have BEEN THERE, DONE IT, AND LIVED TO TELL THE TALE,

Good luck all

Blues

Glad to see that your first GA meeting went well and that you were pleasantly surprised as to how long you spoke for.

Yesterday's events when you told your wife and your children crying must be seen as your rock bottom moment. And that's the only bad thing that you could remember in the PAST.

I emphasise the word PAST because the past is gone, the money is gone and it can't be chased. What you need to do now is to remember that rock bottom moment and never, ever to repeat that again.

You certainly WANT to stop just like all of us but it is only YOU that can make the right choices.

It will be a very long haul and there will be many difficult days in the early stage of your recovery. BUT there will be far more positive days.

Even me, now many months in this recovery process, I am having a second tricky day this week where I have been forced to make a couple of difficult choices.

They were both when I was driving in the car going near my previous haunts. Luckily I made the right choices both times and I have come home deeply proud of myself. I had to make more right choices yesterday as well.

And you CAN do the same! Of course, your wife and kids are understandably upset but in time, your wife will realise that you are going through a very difficult but incredibly positive experience where your futures will look brighter.

Sorry for rambling on but I hope that some of this will be useful. We have all been there, done it and lived to tell the tale.

Hope your meeting goes well tonight and remember to talk to your wife about your feelings.

All the very best and stay very strong.

October (64 days to go)

Thanks for yor mail. I have known deep down that I have a problem for the last number of years, but yesterday, there was something different. It is as though i'm actually tired of the ducking, diving, trying to replace lost money, racking my brain etc. I long for a calm, simple life, not just for me but for my family, which they fully and wholly deserve. I went last night because I wanted to go, needed to go, for my family but also for my own sanity.

I wish you all the very best in your recovery

Blues

Blues,

Let me tell you a little about myself in the hope that it might help you....

I understand you have told all about your gambling last year and that was painful. Telling your wife about the 'blip' sounds evem more painful. So what changed? You are saying the right things today, but what made you gamble recently?

I have been through 3 difficult months with my wife, kids and parents etc (just a novice compared with you... although many years trying to quit) ... in getting this addiction out of my life. I have given full access and visibility to my wife so that I cannot gamble without getting caught. ( I could place a couple of £5 bets I guess but nothing big) The value is not the issue though.... it's about how things are different now versus where they were when I was trying to give this up alone. If I bet I betray my wife and kids. Simple as that.

I get medium-strong urges sometimes but I just try to remember the promise that I made. I assume you have made similar promises and broken them?

Give your word to your wife, show her that you are doing everything you can. If you lapse, make sure that you do not have access to funds that would impact the ability to put food on the table and to meet existing repayment commitments. Sounds liek you will have to continue the sharing and controls and talking for a year or two at least. Maybe your wife will come to trust you again eventually.

I know that you know this already. Just a case of recognising the urge for what it is. Choose your family, not the bookies.

Get your finger out !

Brian

Well totally upbeat at this moment - no bet for two days - and never felt as positive in all my years of attempting abstinence.

on the down side, today was an almighty struggle , i was angry for the whole day and to be honest didnt really give too much thought about gambling but I know that the fact i was snappy was due to no bet on the football etc

Take care

Blues