Regaining life, family and memories.

Thanks for your kind words hope! And well done on avoiding the casino, smart decision and that split second decision had the potential to have desasterous effects on your Christmas.

I'm sitting watching the football results, 6 weeks ago I would have 5 betting slips out in front of me watching the results come in. Whilst also being on my iPhone betting in play. Would probs had gambled about £200 by this time 6 weeks ago....if I was down that was it...I was in chase mode. Late KO or casino for me..2 chances at winning my money back. Obviously as we all know this would've ended up badly and usually about £250 down on a Saturday. I would then have to up the stakes come Sunday to win it back.

I'm enjoying the football and few beers without the stress of gambling! Onwards and upwards.

48 1/2 days down.

Hanz

Hi hanz thanks for your post mate nearly 50 days is brilliant congratulations never did football bets really so lucky I can watch them without thinking about it but know its hard but we are not going back to a losers life we have wasted enough time there already enjoy your Saturday.

The bear

Saturday done and smashed. Roll on day 49. Few urges but this forum is my go to if the thoughts go any further than a quick urge.

Day 49 today. Off to play some golf and snooker. Much better life without gambling. Relaxing. Enjoyable. Only stress I have is through work that you would expect. My weekends are now enjoyable away from gambling. Why replace the "buzz" that was just stress and anxiety.

Another day smashed through. 49 down. It becomes 50 days 8am tomorrow morning. My buzz comes from giving up! Brings a genuine smile to my Face! Had a chat with my girlfriend about it all yesterday asking why I no longer gambled. I told her it's because I finally wanted to save and explained how much I was gambling. Supportive and she is looking forward to a nice holiday next week. Really enjoyed today, played some golf with new clubs (could never put money aside for these before I gave up) then took my grandad snooker. He has been ill lately and it's great to see him smiling. When we used to play I used to be on my phone between shots gambling! How horrid. Today we had a good chat about his illness, his thoughts and discussed how "snooker clubs" used to be men's clubs.

Onwards and upwards

Absolutely buzzing!

Hanz.

Also just noticed its 7 weeks! That's by far the longest I've gone without gambling since I was 16!

50 days has now past at 8am this morning. Really enjoying my new found freedom, stress free and more time on my hands. Looking forward to getting today done and marching on to my 2 months when dave999 topic starts and we all fly through to the end of January. When that ends it will be 5 months without gambling. Some tough times to go though I'm sure but for now my name is Hanz and I will not gamble and have no gambled for 50 days.

Onwards and upwards.

Hanz

Spoke to a colleague today. Well my boss really. I always knew he had gambled in the past but never knew he had been GA. He has invited me along to one which I may do in the near future. It was great to speak to someone about it, someone I do not know on a friendship level so could be quite open about my problem and not worry about what he thought. He is someone I look up to at work as he is doing really well for himself and now someone I will take inspiration from. I believe he hasn't gambled for a few years and this is where I wanted to be!

Anyways, 50 days done and smashed! The count continues tomorrow.

Onwards and upwards

Hanz

Locked myself out the house tonight so popped for pint on my own whilst waiting for the girlfriend. It gave me time to read my whole diary. Just wanted to thank everyone that has contributed. Really happy at the moment and hope this continues. The anxiety and mild depression I've always suffered with and docs had thrown tablets at me for has really reduced over the last few weeks and that is largely down to the great people on here! Thank you and all and looking forward to reporting in tomorrow with another day down now!

Onwards and

Upwards

Hanz

Hanz,

I am so glad and happy for you that you have reached day 50, absolutely well done, this is marvellous news.

This recovery journey is not easy as we are dealing with so many issues in our lives but the best thing is that we get back in touch with reality and learn to adjust to the perfect lives we had without gambling in it.

I am so glad you enjoyed your time spent with your grandfather, that time is so precious and what a lovely happy time you had.

Keep up this fantastic work and go to a GA meeting, honestly Hanz your determination to recover will be even stronger.

Best wishes

hope x

Hi hanz

50 days is brilliant mate so pleased you are turning your life around and finding some sanity your diary and your outlook is changing for the better all the time and your finding your life again I'm so happy for you.

The bear

Hanz

A absolutly fantastic thread to read fella, keep up the fantastic work my friend, life will keep improving.

From me a huge well done and keep sharing

Duncs stepping forward never back.

HI Hanz,

Just a quick note to say have a good day, you have done so well, keep up the positive good work you are doing.

Best wishes. JFT

Hope x

Hi All,

Thanks so much for taking part in my diary. I've had a good day today. Off to play football tonight. Tonight would be another day of gambling usually...plenty of football tonight to gamble on.. I would be chasing by loses from Saturday and usually after upping my stakes on Sunday be chasing around £500 for the week now. Time to up the stakes and win it all back...easy isn't it!

When I type it down it seems so strange that my mind thought like that. Very strange that that process worked in the long run. I learnt a lot about myself whilst analysing myself over the last 7 weeks. I used to be a very giving person and would do charity runs and try and help anyone I could. Gambling made me basically the opposite, selfish and very tight (sounds weird) with my money with anything else except gambling!

Today I was very lucky to be able to treat my grandad, who I spoke about being ill in an earlier post. He has always wanted to go Berlin and I have managed to save enough money the last 7 weeks to be able to take him for Christmas with my nan as well. These are the things I should've been doing for years! I'm am fantastically grateful towards people at work that gave me the opportunity and belief in me when I was going through a bad time 18 months ago. Without them I would be in a much tighter position financially.

When I started this journey I knew it would be hard but felt I would get the rewards if I invested in my own well being and mental state by concentrating on the important things in life. I never realised how quickly I would feel the benefits. I had slipped before though and will remain on my guard and on site on a daily basis.

Thanks again for everyone that has contributed. It's such a big helping reading everyone's recovery diaries.

Have a fantastic evening everyone, I'm off to try and shed the pounds I have put on over the last year or so!

Onwards and upwards everyone!

Hanz

Just ready a post from James P and he mentioned penny machines. I used to love these a kid! My nan used to give me a "gold medal" (£2 coin) and I would change these up into 2p and stay down the arcades all day. It sounds strange but I would struggle I leave....this was ages 7/8/9. The more I think about it the more I realise gamble has never been and will never be something I can put pick up and put down. It something I'll never be able to do and for that I am fine with!

Onwards and upwards,

Hanz