Remember that last bet

We will get there Stacey your right the Hirt I've caused this time I didn't think I could cause and I am deeply ashamed of myself but this is good I now know I hate the person I've become and I'm determined to change good luck to you I wish you all the best in your recovery....stay strong.

Ste26

Well day six and apart from still struggling financially from my latest episode I'm feel great things are moving forward with the purchase of our first house(which I nearly lost before we even had it the other day)and things seem a whole lot clearer I'm going to be a very busy guy in the coming months with the new house our holiday and work so il have lots of things to keep me occupied not that I need them because I'm so determined not to put my loved ones through this again.

All I've thought about for six days is gambling but in a good way not thinking about having a bet but thinking about my last bet and how stupid I really was.

Anyway good luck to you all today and be strong.

Ste26

Hey guys just thought I'd check in let you know how day six is going and apart from having a nasty headache and been sat around waiting all day at work it's going well.

Funny thing happened last nite, not funny at the time but is when I look back, me and my partner(who I told everything six days ago) had taken the boss( my son) to his swimming lesson and he likes a bar of chocolate from the vending machine after so my partner who has taken control of everything gave him a two pound coin after a minute or two he comes back and says dad it's not working so I try to get it changed for two one pound coins by putting it in the drinks machine and pressing eject it only gives me one pound and fifty pence it's robbed me when i go back and tell my partner she looks at me like I've took the fifty pence to gamble she asked my son what happened and he varied my story.

this is what it's got to a grown man who works hard and earns a decent wage being quizzed about fifty pence. That's how much damage gambling has done in my relationship.

it's good for me that my partner reacted like this and I hope she continues to do so it keeps everything fresh.

Anyway sorry about going on I'm sure you've all got little stories like that, enjoy the rest of your day.

Ste26

Hi ste just to let u know I was in day 3 today and I failed !!! I spent £400 very disappointed in myself that's everything gone now I have nothing left don't know how to feel what to do feel paralyzed !!! Thanks everyone for the advice but I think I'm beyond help

Hi mike, chin up mate, if you feel so low now look at it like the only way is up.

I think well I know you said it yourself you were struggling to let go of your last loss I know it's very hard when it leaves you with no way out financially but things in a couple of weeks/months will ease, I too am struggling to get over mine but every little knock I take now and my god you take a few when your feeling low just gives me more drive not to go down this sh*tty little road again.

Keep in touch pal, don't let this win,

Ste26

Well here we are into day seven dont really feel like I've achieved anything as yet because of the state I've got myself and my family in financially but at least I havnt gambled which is a start.

Had a massive headache all day yesterday probably from worrying about my finances I suppose, that's gone now which in thankful for.

Today is a new day and the boss is off to a charity race night tonight with all the other kids for a local football team I don't really want him to be having his 50p on the horses with the other kids but he hasn't got the problem I have I suppose it's only a bit of fun to him he'll be more interested in the E numbers on offer i would imagine.

I'm going to get in from work hopefully early we'll see how that goes have some tea and maybe watch a movie with my partner.

That's all I'm going to do today no gambling, no lies, and no hurting anybody.

Hope you all have a nice gamble free day too.

Ste26

Day seven almost over and first milestone I suppose still feel really bad about the mess I've got my family in but that will get better shortly.

This time last week I was laid flat on my bed next to my partner my heart literally making me jump up and down on the bed it was beating that fast watching my phone waiting for a third rate German team to score a goal and guess what they didn't.

But I needed that to start me on the right path again as I got a little lost.

Anyway back on track now for the time being hope everyone is well.

Ste26

Morning all, just waiting around at work again, day 8 today and still not feeling the urge as yet I think it's because I've shocked myself at how low a person can actually get from this and how much damage it can do to the people around them.

I know today I will not gamble hope you guys do the same.

Ste26

Day 9 today and still don't feel like gambling I hate even the sight off a bookies things are going to be ok financially, a bit tight but ok.

Had the surveyors report for the house we were going to buy and it doesn't look good, if it wasn't meant to be then it wasn't meant to be I'm sure we will find one eventually no rush.

Anyway hope you all have a good gamble free day

Ste26

Well done ste I should be on day 6 but instead it's day 3 feeling better now I can honestly say I think it was good I relapsed Thursday as u do have to hit rock bottom befor u can bounce back £3000 in one week if I don't stop. Now let's face it I never will I really do believe u can beat it ste keep going mate I'll post tommorow day #4 🙂

Now then mike I'm glad your thinking a little clearer now and thanks for the vote of confidence we can both do this and I agree you probably needed that last loss to get to rock bottom but that's it now onwards and upwards pal......ste26

Thanks for posting michaelex it is scary your right how we have no control over our action it's like somebody is controlling your body just keep thinking about that last big loss mate it will make you stop because I know you don't want to feel like that again.....ste26

Day 10 today and ga tonight... Can't wait.

I havnt even thought about going into one of them he'll holes since a come clean to my partner 10 days ago, but I dream about it every time I go to sleep its doing my head in I wake up sweating thinking I've gambled again.

I'm still in a mess financially but will be ok in a month or two that's ok had a bit of a set back with the new house has to have more tests maybe a few problems with it but I suppose if its not meant to be its not meant to be. We are looking forward to our Holiday in France in may hopefully my mess will be sorted by then and we can treat it as a little celebration also.

Anyway today I will not gamble good luck to you all

Ste26

Well done for day 10 mate 🙂 day 4 for me huge urges this morning thinking about roullete can't get it out off my head just taking it 1 day at a time 🙂

Fight them urges mike your strong enough even if you think your not well done on day four. I've just got in from ga some unbelievable shares tonight I can't believe how different I feel from one week ago that place is the key to a happy life for me, i now realise just how much of a great life I have got and I am starting to think about things I've got rather than things I havnt.

Anyway night night everyone, il check in again in the morning.

Ste26