Hi everyone this is my first post here. I'm 23 years old have a modest job and still live at home with parents. I won't bore you all with all the details but basically gambling is crippling my life, I have nearly 5k debts and nearly no savings. As in most cases it started with some small footy accumulators then got worse and worse, the stakes got bigger and so did the loses. Discovering online gambling is the biggest mistake in my life.
My main triggers are lonelyness and boredom, im in quite a long distant relationship and only see my girlfriend once a week and have only a few friends which leaves me far too much spare time to kill which is where the gambling comes in. This night I lost 390 alone playing online roulette. I just don't know when to stop, even if I am hundreds of pounds up I just can't stop myself, it's never enough to just walk away.
Enough is enough, I have a beautiful girlfriend, a caring family and a bright future which I'm not going to sabotage any further. I will stop this once for all one way or another before it gets way out of hand. Just reading all your stories has inspired me to give it a real go. I will post here every day my progress against this horrible illness. If it means posting here every time I get the urge then that is what I will do.
Let's all fight this together.
All the best
Liam
You can do it Liam! Welcome to the forum and it's important you keep reading and posting!! You will find great support and encouragemt here. BE STRONG. Every time you get the urge to gamble - get onto the forum instead - you can spend hours here - it REALLY DOES help! Take care and best wishes for your recovery. Helen. X
Hi Helen. Thank you so much for your kind words they really do mean a lot to me. I hope you are well and going strong. I'm feeling very positive to day and trying to see things in a new light. Made it to work without visiting a gambling site for the first time In about a week so progress already. I play 5 a side football every Wed night which is one of my few healthy vices. Apart from looking forward to that I'm just trying to keep my mind focused and occupied, had a few minor urges but still going strong.
All the best.
Liam.
Hi Liam
I've also lost a lot online, best thing to do is pay for betfilter or gamblock. If you are still too skint get K9 web protection and get someone to set a password. This has been the best thing for me, had loads of urges and tried to get around the filters but you just can't.
Keep up the fight
James
yes change id and passwords on betting sites self exclude even give your parents your card ! I have been betting for 34 years the online sites turned a hobby to a addiction and cleared my accounts and credit cards like you I had a long distance relationship I could not see her as gambled ferry and train fare ! it has destroyed many a relationship with my moods and the addiction included stealing. I had to get the best help possible and it is working a few months gambling free and the urge and impulse Vanished don't do any form of Gambling my life at 51 has changed to the better . Gambling is evil and preys on the weak should be outlawed in a supposed civilised society .
Hi Dave and James thank you for your kind advice. Day 1 is finally completed and hopefully it Is the first of many. I'm defiantly going to take you up on your advice, paying for good blocking software will be a sound investment and peanuts compared to the amount have lost and could potentially lose In the future if I do nothing.
Having a long term relationship can defiantly invite triggers with boredom being a key factor so I'm going to try and keep my schedule filled as best as I can by visiting family and calling up some old friends. I am feeling really looking forward to tomorrow and actually excited to the prospect of a second Day of no gambling. Thanks everyone for your support, I mean it, it really has helped me through today.
All the best
Liam
Morning everyone, hope your all well. Day 2 and gladly not much to report. Managed to make it to work again without gambling, whenever I get the urges I just come on here and read some of the stories and that does the trick.
My girlfriend is picking me straight from work and then we are going out for a meal so no opportunity to gamble at all. If you asked me last week if I could go a few days without having a bet I would of said your mad. Hope everyone's recovery is going well, remember keep your mind focused and occupied so not to let the ill thoughts of gambling sneak in.
All the best
Liam
Hey liam
Its day 2 for me too today. Just read your story and I have similarr gambling habits to you. They started with footy accas now its online betting constantly.
I did 5 days last week then failed. I think the slip up will help me in the long run.
Keep in contact as we are similar and are on the same days so let's fight this together mate.
Any tips we should share.
Check out my intro and diary mate
All we have to do is believe
Mba
Hi MBA, hope your well being reading your diary every day at its nice to have someone in near enough in the same boat as me. Day 3 is coming to and end and thankfully very little urge to gamble. I have kept myself busy with work and helping around the house. I have learned even the most boring of household tasks that I rarely help with like hoovering and cleaning can be therapeutic and helps me keep a clear mind.
Tomorrow will be the biggest test yet when I go to the football match with the lads, gunna be hard not to do the usual customary trip to the bookies pre match but I can't keep doing this to myself I'm just going to have to dig deep and say no. Even the smallest of relapses could spiral into that dark road which I no longer want to walk.
All the best
Liam
Hi liam.
Hope yesterday went well, let us know.
Who do you go to see play?
Day 5 for me today. No real urges loads of distractions to keep my mind busy on other things.
Mba
Hi MBA hope your well and glad to see your still going strong. I go to every Sunderland home again when I can.
But the bad news is I had a massive relapse yesterday and today, I just couldn't resist a small bet on the football which then spiralled way out of control back into the dreaded roulette. Bottom line is I was blinded by greed and I'm totally disguisted with myself.
The only positive I can take from it is that I just barely broke even so I'm no worse off financially but that doesn't make me feel any less worse.
My girlfriend has told me for the first time that she's concerned about my gambling. Considering I try and hide it the best I can ; if she's starting to notice then it really is getting out of hand,
At the end of the day all I can do is keep trying and that's exactly what I'll keep doing until I beat this.
Tomorrow is Day 1 (take 2!)
Hi liam,
Sorry to hear about your relapse mate. But its good to hear that you have accepted that was what it was and are starting again. I had a relapse last week and have come back stronger.
I know I'm going to beat this. Get that in your head mate and it should make you stronger.
Not a bad result for Sunderland too.
Mba
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