Hi,
I'm a problem gambler in recovery. In fact, according to my profile here, it's been 686 days since I last gambled. My wife knows about my problem and has been incredible. She still keeps check on me and my finances, but less often and trust has certainly been rebuilt.
However, last night, I had a very weird dream. Totally out of the blue and can't understand where it came from. I don't really remember the dream itself, but remember waking up with that horrible sick feeling of having a bad gambling session. I genuinely believed that I had just gambled £400 away and was worried about telling my wife that I'd relapsed, but knew I had to be honest. It took 60-90 seconds before my brain fully engaged and I realised it was just a dream and I was panicking about nothing.
Let's be very clear. I did NOT gamble last night. I did NOT want to gamble last night. I do NOT want to gamble now. Not even a little bit.
Should I tell my wife about my dream? I want to be honest and open with her and think it's the right thing to tell her. But she worries (rightly so, considering my past) and I don't want to worry her or stress her out unnecessarily.
I'm seeing my counsellor next week and will discuss it with her. I don't know what triggered the dream, but I know they aren't always literal. Dreaming about gambling might not be linked to gambling itself. Stress maybe? I watched an episode of The Lincoln Lawyer just before bed and in that, the main character is recovering from alcohol and drug abuse, so maybe it just triggered a memory or emotion subconsciously? I really don't know.
Do I tell my wife or just put it down to being a bad dream and be more concerned if it happens again?
Thanks.
@mrlyndhurst Firstly, well done for your time bet free.
Secondly, I had a gambling dream as well last night. The memory is drifting away now but I was working in a bar in a casino which I had to leave because I had gambled. I’m not sure on what or how much, but the overwhelming thought I had, and one I always have after a gambling dream, is having to be honest to others and restarting my bet free clock!
On waking up it took a while to realise it was just a dream, no harm done, no starting again.
For me it’s just a dream. I don’t see any harm in telling your wife about it, in fact like most problems, once you share it you can take the power out of it. I think your wife would appreciate your honesty too.
Chris.
Do not tell her. It wasn't real, it was just a dream. No harm done.
Looks as though most of us are dreamers here. Me too last night, but I know what triggered mine.
100% tell her. She has been a rock in your recovery and it’s certainly your subconsciousness kicking in from the film. Films of any misuse whether it be substance or alcohol, reminds me of my gambling peak. Your dream is a talking point with your wife albeit completely harmless and with no intent to gamble today. You talk your mind with your wife so absolutely tell her.
My barber is in (early) recovery like us and I got a haircut yesterday and he was showing me what he’d usually bet on, I got into a debate with him that I just don’t want to look and told him to put his phone away as i’m not interested and he should not be either!
All the best! It’s 360 days on 30 September for me. Never thought i’d make it this far. I’m dreaming all the time and wake up relieved! Horrible place to go back to for sure and a welcome reminder.
I told her. Unsurprisingly, she was supportive as always. She didn't worry or get upset and agreed that it was a subconscious thought that maybe shouldn't be taken too literally or seriously. She did confirm that telling her was the right thing to do and it's important to continue being honest and open.
She is my rock and I shouldn't have even questioned whether to tell her or not.
Oopps looks like I was wrong. I thought if you told her it would upset her, but as it turns out she was supportive and appreciative of your honesty. I stand corrected. So glad it all worked out for the best.
Understand your concern but very common to dream about gambling, when in recovery.
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