sh*t Or Bust

PS

The sun has come out now where I am hope it has where you are and remember our moods will change like the weather

Suzanne x

Thank you Suzanne. Yeah I guess. Reality hits hard. I'm not giving up though. Xx

Sorry to hear your feeling down... Your not alone in this struggle we are all in the same boat.. Keep your chin up and remember any questions or things that are worrying you don't be afraid to ask for advice or support!

Well nearly at the end of day five felt really pants earlier. I'm taking comfort in the fact that I haven't gambled or even played freebies. I'm usually at my most vulnerable when I'm down but not today. I've tried to keep busy amd read alot of your words. They are a comfort. This is such an evil addiction. Everywhere you look there's adverts for another gaming site. It makes you feel sick inside because my first thought is ooh i may be lucky there ha! I am using the mantra. I'll never win because i cannot stop. Over and over. I'm staying strong and keeping focused. Thank you all. Xx

Hi lizt

Well done your mood and feelings have changed already like the weather lol

Think how positive you feel tomorrow morning cos you have not chased more debt and a lovely feeling of not having gambled today

Otherwise you will wake up with more debt and despair and that is not even worth thinking about

Suzanne x

Yes Suzanne. Definitely and i will be really pleased about that. Thank you for your support. You have no idea how good it feels. Just knowing i can speak freely and let it out is such a feeling. Knowing you're not alone. Xxx

Hi ya lizt - how are you doing today? Are you finding it easier as each day passes.. IM not so sure it is.. IM feeling a little down today and gambling is high on my list of thoughts .. Tho i have my councelling coming up in the next few days so i think i have a lot to discuss... Why o why can i not go a significant period of time without thinking of gambling!

Hope all is well lizt and you are still gamble free.its a terrible illness that has got us but we can beat it.its all in the head just got to get in the right frame of mind. Goodluck xx

Scottyboy

Hello All!... Well i'm not sure if it's the tablets or withdrawal but I feel awful... shivering... headache... temperature... not good at all. I am staying strong though!!...my first session is about to happen so will post after that... I have thought a lot about gambling today... nearly went on you tube to watch the "big win" videos... but I haven't... ahhhh this thing is a cow!!! xxx

Need Help!!! hope you are feeling better today...it is so so hard ... stay strong please... we will beat this sending you all the strength I can...we will beat this xx

Thanks for your msg... I am hoping that your councelling goes well and the way you aren't feeling too good may be to do with you getting used to the medication. My thought of gambling is with me although my head must be messed up.. I know in my own head that betting on virtual horses/dogs is a total waste of money but my friends around me are betting and winning on horses and im thinking that maybe id be ok if i did that.. IM giving serious thought to the group of friends i socialise with and how everyone of them has gambling at the front of their thoughts - it may be time to spend less time around them! We will all get there. Good luck

Ok So!!.. I have been away fora few days. Turns out I have the flu I must have picked it up whilst I was away a couple of weeks ago. I feel a bit brighter today but have pretty much been flat on my back for four days. Today is an interesting day. It'sthe first day that I have had proper money in my account. Money that I would usually instantly start to gamble with. I am thinking about it because it is the usual thing I would do. Today though, I am thinking NO WAY!!. I have just watched The Black Dog,you know what I think I have battled with depression for many years and I have tried all manner of crutches and escapes some are easier to manage than others. I reckon I would be joining the AA site if I hadn't got kids.. hangovers and children just don't mix... Instead I found my true destructive companion in online slots and bingo. something that used to have such happy memories for me turned into some sick all consuming disease and until you come here you totally feel like you are the only one who wakes up day after day sick and ashamed and out of control, worthless and depressed and it just confirms what an absolute waste of space you are to yourself fuelling your depression even further. It's a cycle, I see that now!!. I don't think that I will ever be able to enjoy a good game of bingo ever again that is gone now but I can take hold of me and hug myself and say lets go get help. I know so many people who are suffering or who have suffered with depression addiction and mental illness and I have so much compassion for them and always encourage them to seek help and don't be ashamed and yet I treat myself with absolute contempt WHY??. I am such a hippocrite. Apologies for the spelling... I am now day 8 free of gambling and it gives your mind freedom to think clearly. I've said it before and I will say it again finding this site has opened my eyes so much to the pain and suffering we are all going through. It seems we have all got lost. I am on anti depressants now they still have to kick in I think but even after 5 days of tablets and no gambling oh and lying in bed with flu I can see just how unkind to myself I have been. I am currently in the triangle.I have the time and the location and the money. I am on my lap top and even though I have self excluded myself from the sites I play on we all know how easy it is to sign up elsewhere but I am going to read more recovery diaries and post on other peoples threads and pass the time with the people who are as fragile as me. We can beat this, we can xxx

Hi lizt

Well done on 8 days

Stay strong today and win today

Suzanne x

Hi Suzanne. Thank you. How you doing. I have had every opportunity today to get on line and sit gambling away my very hard earned money but I haven't. A few times it has crossed my mind to just have a fiver but i quickly batted it out of my head. I'm not saying I'll be this strong every day but so far I'm doing ok and for that i am truly grateful. Hope everyone is ok out there xx

hiya, well done for your complete honesty and hard work!

i hope you beat the gambling on the head and smack depression in the mouth! i understand exactly what you are saying about mental illness and depression.

confession time : i have bipolar disorder, i dont share this or my gambling with anyone! you are right about giving all the good advice but not taking it yourself, i do exactly the same.

i am keeping my fingers crossed for you, good luck and keep going and being strong.

laura x