sh*t Or Bust

Ditto to what Suzanne said you are doing brilliantly - to just stop doing something that you had been doing for so long is not going to be easy. Even though i cant gamble in betting shops anywhere near to me i have had thoughts about doing it through my iPad and i mean proper thoughts not just fleeting thoughts when i saw adverts on telly. I can only imagine as in in the early stages that while these thoughts are quite prominent they will continue to get weaker as time goes on and you become stronger. Keep it up you are doing great!!!

Again ditto to what Suzanne said! I'm really sorry you are having a bad day, but remember how well you have done so far x you can do this Hun x

best wishes Laura x

Ahhhhhhh oh man!!!!!! Struggled so badly the last few days. Haven't let anyone down least of all myself. Still gamble free but oh this is so tough. I look at my account and think god i could do some damage. Why oh why!!!. I haven't and I won't but how easy would it be. This illness is so nasty!!. I worked today which was good even treated my Co worker to lunch something i would have never done a because i usually wouldn't have the money and b if i had the money my mind would have been on spending it on gambling. Thank you so much for your support and kind words. They got me through. Hope you're ok xx

I think online is so evil. It doesn't even feel like real money till you look at your bank account the next day and you feel sick to the stomach with disbelief! Please don't go near the i pad. You have done amazing and I am taking your lead!! It's always around the corner whispering evil nasty gambling. We can stay strong we can do this. Xx

Hi there lizt.. IM struggling a lot today and cant understand why. I was walking up to my car park on my way to go home from work and i went and checked my bank account and was thinking like you about the damage i could do by going into a different town really out of my way or opening up an online account. I got into my car and went online with thoughts of going online to gamble - instead i went into my bank account and transferred it into my savings account which i cant use online and need to give notice to take money from it. I feel disturbed by my actions today and hope a good nights sleep will help me. Sorry i am pretty down re gambling but i thought i had turned a corner...

You know what it comes when you least expect it. Your mind has a way of forgetting all the truly s**t times when you're just hundreds in minutes and this voice says you can do it . Do it again . There is some sick comfort being in that horrible space . It's almost like we feel like we deserve to be there and stay there because of what we have done before. Don't let it fool you. We don't we deserve to be happy we deserve to be free. We are not bad people we just got lost. I felt really s**t about how easy I could have un done everything I'd achieved over the last few weeks. I was so close to thinking oh f*** it who really gives a s**t. I don't. Thank god i never. You please play strong. I'm on here checking in all the time now. You stay with me. We are going to beat this xx

Sorry predictive text. I hope that makes sense xx

Hi lizt

You are doing really well

The roller coaster may be bumpy but hold on tight

It will soon be tomorrow

Forwards and upwards and not looking back

You are doing it

Stay safe and take care

Suzanne xx

Hi all. Not sure what day I'm on but I am still gamble free. Had some bad days and not so bad days. The voices are there constantly waiting for me to agree with what they say and log on and continue my oh so destructive path. So far i have managed to not give in. I hope and prey i can stay this strong and my voice stays louder than the illness of being a compulsive gambler. I am so grateful for this site. Hope everyone is ok out there xx

Hi lizt

Well done for staying strong

Keep going one day at a time

Suzanne xx

Yes well done you...keep going and i apologies if my slip this past couple of days has dragged you down. Keep going!!!

Thank you!! That means a lot. Today I've been very busy so not much chance to think about gambling. I feel very calm at the moment maybe the tablets have kicked in. I worry that I may be thinking that I am in control and those voices will get the better of me. I know it happens and the next thing you come to and you've blown hundreds again. I've done it many times before. I'm trying really hard to keep my brain in check. Hope everyone is ok out there. I'm looking forward to a quiet weekend and I'm praying i can stay strong big test for me this weekend i will have many opportunities to do what I used to do. While away the weekend gambling . Not this time. I will not gamble!!! Xx

It seems very quiet on the forum ... Don't know if this is necessarily a negative thing but i hope you are doing well and managing to stay away. I cant say that i haven't had the odd thought here and there but every day that i stay away has got to be a move in the right direction. Keep in touch because people think cant help but think the worse if someone hasn't been on in a few days.. Keep smiling! Nh

Hi ya!! Sorry ive been with my partner for a few days and not had chance to post. I'm still gamble free. I've had thoughts real thoughts and usually i would make an excuse to go back to my house and throw hundreds away in minutes just to get that hit whilst i was meant to be feeding the animals or popping home to get something. I didn't do that. Instead I bought my kids some clothes some nice bits. That felt good. How you doing hope you're ok. I really felt for you. Hope you gave yourself a big hug xx

Hi lizt

Well done on making that right choice

Keep going staying strong and positive

Suzanne xx