sh*t Or Bust

Oh god same here. It's everywhere you look. I watch alot of sport mainly formula one and moto gp and every ad break is a betting site. This casino that bingo site. It's everywhere. I watched a programme once with grant Mitchell can't remember his name but he went to Vegas and met all these compulsive gamblers living in tunnels with drug habits such sad stories. I watched it with my partner who has no idea about me at all and I felt so uncomfortable sick ashamed amd at the same time i wanted to shout " that's me"!!!! Not that I'm a drug addict but a compulsive gambler. I don't think I'll ever be able to tell anyone. Maybe when I'm years down the line even then I won't be able to speak the real truth. I admire the people on here who come clean and have really supportive families and partners i probably have too but the shame and guilt would kill me. Xx

I emailed today by the way. Hopefully they will respond soon . Xx

I hope to hear from them soon - I just checked out that Ross kemp thing from Vegas - it's on you tube .... Think I'll watch it on the iPad in bed later.. So do you not think you won't ever tell your partner ... Is it through shame or are you afraid of him ending it. It's a tough thing to do

Oh that's him Ross kemp.!! It's really hard going. Erm . No its definitely my shame and guilt. It's not so much him ending it it would be him telling people why and me having to tell people why. Does that make sense?? . Like i said before he is quite the opposite from me. Maybe he is how I want to be. He's so good with money.lol and I'm so S***e!!! Lol. I'm gonna head off and get these boys of mine sorted for bed. Let me know what you think of the programme. sleep well. Stay strong and let's kick some gambling but tomorrow!!! Xx

Hi there. Thanks for the post in my diary. Just read yours and you are doing so well; congratulations. I never realised how tough abstaining would be. Particularly with all the adverts and reminders. Think it is probably the most worthwhile thing I have ever attempted though. Good luck. Jx

Just watched Ross kemp in Vegas - makes me so grateful for all that I have got but makes me realise as well how featherweight this situation is and losing the head and falling into the trap could lead to situation - we'll I don't think I'll be living in flood channel or mixing meth with 7up but I think you get the point to make. I think this site is amazing ... I feel very lucky to be able to say as much as I do and knowing that in you there is always a friendly pair of ears to listen in you and a voice that is practical and straight talking which is often what's needed sometimes in duncanmac.. Thanks and good night fellow posters.

Hey lizt you ok mate?? Haven't seen you on here today which is unusual. I going good today - thoughts about gambling obviously but not even considered acting on it. Quite pleased with how things are going. Hope you are ok

Morning!! Sorry my youngest has the kent test today so we ended up swatting all evening. Had a long and very busy day at work. Had no time to post!!. Glad to hear you're doing well its such a long old road isn't it. I keep thinking wow ive managed a month which to me is huge but in the great scheme of things i think if people knew they would wonder why I was so excited about being gamble free for a month! Do you know what I mean?? Haven't heard back from the site about sharing info yet have you?? It would have been so easy to drop you a quick line or text yesterday. Looking forward to nice chilled night tonight got another long day ahead. Hope you have a good one. Will definitely be on later. Take care. Oh that Ross kemp thing is quite hard isn't it. I was literally cringing in parts. Thank god we don't live there!!!! Xx

No haven't heard back yet - I reckon that if I was living there i would go crazy. As a gambler I was there for a week but it was so intense I was dying to get out after about three days. I'm off to Glasgow for work today so that's why I'm on the ball so early - I will be on later as opposed to sitting in some dingy bookies playing virtual horse racing at hundred quid a pop..

Glad to hear it!!! Stay away !!! I am just in from work. I treated myself today. Spent nearly a hundred pounds on myself and I felt so guilty!! Wouldn't have batted an eyelid at throwing a hundred at a slot machine!!! How nuts is that. The face cream i bought says it will make me look twenty years younger which of course is b*****ks and yet I used to believe that I could win a jackpot of over three million on one particular slot. I was convinced it would be me next!! Lol . Ahhh what we like!! Xx

Well another and another day gamble free - my hotel is right beside a couple of bookmakers but instead of that I have just booked a table for dinner - gonna go and get food and then have a couple pints and read the paper... Then head to bed and play football manager on iPad. All sounds great in theory.. I hope it all goes to plan.

Well that's good you bloomin well stick to that!! Are you working away on your own then?? I once played bingo in Glasgow a fight broke out between two woman!! . Ok what you having for dinner. If you're on your own I'm going to be there. You are not going to deviate from your plan!!! Right lol xx

Dinner eaten - seafood pasta (very tasty) and now settling into the bar with the paper and gonna sit with a pint and have a read through what's happening. I'm up in Glasgow at meetings so am on my own which is no bad thing because one of the lads I travel with is a big gambler and always looking out casinos etc.. I'm here another couple of nights so hopefully I can abstain!!

Hi ya!! Oh crashed out fairly early last night was shattered. Hope your night went well. I am really struggling today having real urges to gamble. Worst it's been for a long time. Feel really uneasy and anxious. Don't like it. Have thought about gambling since waking up this morning . Been to work but doing a short day today so feel very vulnerable at the mo. Would love some words of support and a boot up my back side please!!!! Xx

Really really struggling folks. Ah this is such an awful sneaky illness. I've been doing so well and so positive . Feel really down and uneasy today. I am consumed with thoughts of on line slots. Why ??? Nothing major has happened . I'm going to need all my strength today to keep away. Please keep me strong. Remind me of all the reasons why I stopped this destructive side of myself. Oh this is hard!!!!! Xx