sh*t Or Bust

Hi Lizt,

Feeling uneasy and anxious is normal and it will pass. You r changing your life around. It is up there with divorce or even bereavement in the stress ratings.

It is no wonder u feel anxious when u look at it like this!!

It would really help to treat yourself during this tough phase. Any treat that's not gambling. The novelty of not gambling has probably worn off and you are at the next stage.

Do the things you like. Treat yourself well. You have gotten through the "raw" feelings. The anxious feelings will pass too.

The best is yet to come.

Suzy (91 days)

Thank you !!!

I went and treated the car to a car wash and a bit of a hoover. Had a drive around sat on the sea front had a cigarette. Did some deep breathing. I think I'll be ok now. I have counselling later so that will give me a boost I'm sure. Phew close shave that one!!! Xx

Sorry only getting to see your message now - I think it's only natural that everyone is gonna get the urge to gamble but the main thing is not to act on it and you have done that so well done you. I'm bored tonight in Glasgow and this is when I'm at my worst tho I don't intend to act on it. Well done again!!!!

Oh god today has been the hardest day. Why i don't know!!! Struggled so bad. Got very angry with the ease that i could have just logged on and blew some money. How much who knows but it was there not so much an urge as in anxious but just do it because it's what I do!! I'm so glad I haven't. Was i bored. Yes maybe. I have a house that needs a real good overhaul but i couldn't do that because that was too close to my lap top. I had to stay out today. Phew that was not nice. Please stay strong tonight. I have been reminded today big time of how vulnerable we are to this sickness. Bloody awful nasty thing. We are so much better than this. I genuinely could be hundreds down now or thousands up lol joke!!! Dinner bath bed for me. Take care tonight. Xx

Hi Lizt,

All the warning bells are flashing...how can you be so close to logging on to lose money?

Have you self-excluded from all the sites?

Throw your bank card in the fire. Do whatever it takes so you don't start a new slot account.

You are doing so well. Those slots will pull you back in.

They are designed by graphic experts to lure you back.

You cannot win.

Get drunk, scream the house down, smash the laptop but do NOT log in to a gambling site.

The urge will pass.

Stay strong.

Suzy

Hi ya!!

Oh thank you for that boot up my backside. I know right. How could I have been so close????? Doesn't make sense. I didn't gamble and feel a whole lot better this morning for not giving in but that was the closest I think ive been since I started here over a month ago. I am excluded from as many as I can but as you know there is always another site if you hunt for it. I really dont know how that came over me. It made me really angry and anxious and really shakey. Any ways onwards and upwards i am still gamble free i think i am on day 37 or 38 something like that. I will keep fighting and please help me to stay strong. Thank you xx

Oh Liz, Liz, Liz

You cannot put in another day like y/day.

You need blocking software so it is impossible to join a new site. Once all the security measures are in place it takes away the pressure.

There's a bunch of us women on here who were probably competing on the same bingo sites....they lured us in with the free spins and the clever graphics. We had to say "well done" when someone else won!! How stupid was that, but we did it!!

Well never again.

Put up the barriers and you will sleep better at night.

Suzy

I know but no one knows about me and you have to put in a password. I'm doing good today and away for a bit over the weekend so will be fine there

i bet you're right about the bingo sites. I used to see the same old names day in day out no matter what time i logged on. I used to think where do they get the money from but now I think where did i get the money from!!!! Honestly what fools eh.

How you doin. It's hard isn't it?? It's everywhere you look.!! Xx

Lizt I think your doing really well keep going bud xx

Thank you John!!

I am fighting every day. Had a bad day couple of days ago. I'm occupying myself with everything but thoughts of gambling today even though I know they are there i will have another gamble free day and go to bed tonight breathe a sigh of relief and be grateful to all the words of support from here. I don't know what I'd do without the people I chat to on here. This dark secret of mine almost finished me off. Thank god i found gam care. Xx

Hi lizt, just sat and read your diary so far, great to read your doing really well and seeing you post here when you feel down is time well spent, you had everything against you time internet and yet you stayed strong self control and strong willed you are in a better place today for that make the most of your free time.

But in all honesty what damage can you do by telling your partner, you are doing more damage by hiding it, read the family and friends side and you see time and time again it's not the money that hurts them it's the lies, be honest with them and they will think better of you. They can help and will want to you have done so much to help yourself already take away the add pressure of temptation so you can enjoy your new found freedom.

Have a great weekend today we will not gamble

Hi ya and thanks. I know i should but i think the shame would kill me at the moment and if it went badly I'm not sure I'm strong enough to cope with the fall out. There's a lot going on at the mo that also needs sorting. I'm spinning so many plates but i am still here and still gamble free. Taking each day as it comes. How's everyone doing out there xx

Hi ya ... Hope you are well and all is going good. I just wanted to say thanks for the support through obviously hard times trying to stay away from gambling. I am going away for work for a few weeks and I'm going to try and stay away from the forum while I'm away - I feel that I'm big and ugly enough to get through this and I feel that while the support on here is great it isn't working for me and I'm going to try a complete break from anything gambling related - forums, email etc. I just want to try and see if this works for me.. Take care and good luck!