Silence-Broke

Hi Glint, I just read through your story and I find you incredibly inspirational! Never give up my friend as there's always a new chapter round the next corner, I'm wishing you all the best in your job searches, I recommend trying if you haven't already taking your cv into towns and handing it in to places that are looking to employ people. I hate this world sometimes, people like you deserve so much better in life! Reading what you have wrote I can immediately understand how smart and determined you are to make a change, most people would roll under a rock and give up but please never do this! You've got the strength in character to make a change. Fortunes will turn in your favour soon, the hard work will pay off.

I'm looking forward to hearing back from you and how you're getting on

All the best

Hi stranger, has that data re-set yet? I'm hungry for some updates...Have you sorted out somewhere to live, still working on your CV & eating (you don't have to push down entire meals in one hit, little & often does the trick).

Hope you are looking after you - ODAAT

Big thanks Rose80, Joseph Taylor and ODAAT.

My CV is never going to look great, I had put a lot of work into my CV. I will look into improving, it was the first CV I had ever done, no doubt it could of been better.

Thought I had done enough. Thought my application had a good chance of getting an interview. It was a decent job, the closing date was moved forward due to the amount of applications. I'm never going to look the best on paper but think I'm capable of impressing in person. Had researched the job, company, health and safety, the area the job was in. I wanted it.

Gambled loads in April after the rejection.

I have data again.

My heart's not in the forum at the moment. Not sure what to do. I'm just going to finish what I came here to do and go an entire calendar month without gambling whilst making sure I post within seven days.

Number of things that have me questioning if GamCare is the right platform for me.

Need some more self-discovery after this month. Want to either do my absolute best on this forum for this forum or use my time elsewhere.

That's not to say I'm leaving. More that I'd only post on other threads with less frequency.

I'm a bit confused.

Without data hadn't been looking for jobs. Could've gone to the library to look - didn't. It will be tough for me. Not much I can do.

If I have an interview I will have to buy clothes which after April's gambling I can't afford.

Have a place to stay. More expensive but it'll do. Could've lived cheaper elsewhere, had/have the option but still try to isolate myself as much as I can.

Eating not easy. Another thing I've not put any effort into because it's easier not to. I will have to and will try little and often, thank you. Think that will be the best way.

Things could be worse. Have a place to live, still have some money saved, my current job is secure and I haven't gambled in May 2016.

Confused. Need to find a way forward.

Might take some time.

Hi Glint are you still gamble free for this month? It's good news hearing you've got money saved, this will increase rapidly if you stick to your word and don't gamble. Keep telling yourself all the luxury stuff you can get with all the money you'll save up from not gambling. Keep telling yourself how bright your future is looking living a gamble free life, I hope the job search is going well and I'll look forward to hearing again from you soon. All the best

Hi,Glint,

Sorry to hear of your disappointment. I get that you were disappointed but setbacks do happen to everyone, you don't have to be an addict for things to go wrong.

re your "what's the point of stopping?" thoughts, is there an element of wanting to gamble and feeling that being regularly on the forum inhibits that? Not a criticism, just the addiction whispering false promises.

Hope you feel better soon but do keep posting. You've a lot to offer other people on here.

BW,

CW

Thank you Joseph Taylor and Cynical wife.

Still not gambled this month.

Made no effort to look for jobs. Very limited what I can do.

Haven't gone into detail about quite how bad my situation is.

All I have ever done is gamble.

All I know.

All I can do.

Cynical wife - think you have summed up my mindset very well. Being here stops me doing what I desire (most the time). I find it difficult. I like gambling. A lot of people write about how they hate it - I don't. I graciously lose all my money, it's just what I do.

This will be my last post on this thread.

I'm lost.

No idea where to go.

I've sort of stopped.

I have a place to live, secure job, long-term girlfriend and have saved more money in the time I have been on the forum than I ever have since I started gambling.

None of the above looks in danger of changing any time soon.

Well, maybe the savings are in constant danger of being gambled away.

I'll stay on the forum. I always follow the progress of others and won't be taking my support away.

If I start another thread it will be a diary.

For now, I'll go away, think things through and try to find a way forward.

I want to have the most positive effect I possibly can. Help people, peace, animals and the planet. Especially the ocean.

I'm off to figure out how.

Thank you to everyone who has contributed to my thread.

Glint, some of us sing in the shower & think we sound like Witney Houston whilst the neighbours are concerned about strangled cats, others look in a mirror & see fat where there is barely even skin...Usually others give a fairer assessment of us than we ever could! You obviously know yourself better than I do but when I read your words, I don't see a man with a speech impediment & all sorts of anxieties, I don't just see a gambler, I see a principled man with an addiction fighting for his life & to improve the lives of people around him!

Sorry to see you leave this thread Glint, I hope to still see your sound advice on the site. Sometimes we need to retreat and gather our wits before we launch into our finest hour - I see so much honestly, pride and determination in some of the things that you write that I will be watching out for your diary so I can join you in your victory march when you do come back. Take care of yourself!

Hai Glint,

Just a quick touch of the base. Thanks for cool post on my diary, I like these proverbs you dig out.

I still notice you pop up here and there and offering support. But, how's about you? Reaching out is a strength, yet us mere humans tend to see it as a weakness.

Everything's out there for all of us, just need to change the places we dig, every now and then.

A new week ahoy, what more could anyone ask for.

Paul

Top post Glint...I laughed so hard the NM wanted in on it & can't work out how you think of those things 🙂 The chat room took a bit of explaining & not because he knows I always find a way to get my words in, edgeways or not 😉 What a result that you had lime flavoured freeze pops to hand (I concur it was genius)...Must be much 'greener' too! Winner 🙂

I'm glad you're not angry with people & understand why you're not angry with gambling but I live in hope that one day, you will put it behind you & start enjoying life.

Rocking the hat on the smiley & never mind my foreword, let me help you type!

IK 🙂

Thanks for dropping by FM Glint, always good to have you in my corner!

Yo My cyber friend.

A rare foray back to this forum and you've managed to plant a grin on this good looking mug of mine as I dig up some of your past posts. You have a good way with words...

Think, it's over to you for an update.

Take care

Thanks for your comment on my post glint.
I've noticed you pop up on lots of diaries. You help so many with your thoughtful, witty and encouraging words.
Hope life is treating you well. Stay strong.

Afternoon Glint , many thanks for the drop by and your kind message , nice to see you around the forum with your incitefull posts . I can relate greatly to your love of gambling as it's something I always enjoyed , even towards the end although I was in turmoil it still gave my warped mind the pleasure it sought , crazy really ? For me it was always the same with smoking . I knew the risks and that eventually it would probably wreck my body but I enjoyed it so much I crried on regardless for many years until a really bad chest infection managed to get me thinking ? I've not smoked for over 20yrs and don't miss it at all and now I'm finally gamble free I'm experiencing the same :))

Best wishes my friend

Alan

Hello Glint, aka Robert The Bruce

As always thanks for your post, im always chuffed to get one. They mean a lot and as Change said and many before him, there always eloquent and full of substance.

I find it a real bi.tch to hear that your on a down ward turn. Things need to change and they will. Easier said than done, yet I know by this strong spirit you display in your writing that you'll turn this corner and head on the upward.

It's very admirable of you to think of people without the basicness of clean water and Internet connection, but, you my friend need to start putting your self first.

I know we can only take so many low or sucker punches and then we take the proverbial fall, but, then it goes to the old saying of ' what doesn't kill us, makes us stronger '.

You introduced me to selective mutism and made me understand some thing I could never quite get about myself, yet, fortunately im maybe at a low end of a sliding scale. Something, which I totally agree with and don't practice enough of is reaching beyond our comfort zones to grow as people. Keep reaching Glint, even if just a little bit each day.

If we look hard enough and keep pushing and most importantly look after ourselves, there's help out there to ease the struggle and make ourselves better.

I'm going to finish this post Glint in quoting something you said n your post to me ' don't settle for anything less than you deserve ' And, you my friend deserves a break...

Strength and Honor, you bring more to this forum than you'll probably realise