Slipping, Falling and Got to Get Up

Desperado scene where Antonio Banderas looks in the mirror and says ' give me the strength to be what I was and forgive me for what I have become' feels appropriate

Hi kryptonite,
Good to see you've started your own diary!
hope it's the last time your wallet feels empty.
Well done for self excluding! Looking forward to reading your post tomorrow night saying that you've taken your photos in and you've succeeded in blocking all online accounts.
If you manage to do that then I'd say you'd have succeeded more than a baby step!
Sending you a bucketful of strength.
You can do it!!!!
Li'l miss L

Thanks LML, it's strange because I had to pick 3 shops but could only think of two. Anyway went for a drive around a cpl hours ago to get the kids off to sleep , random driving and must have passed no less than 8 betting shops , 4 of which are the same brand I excluded from. It's like my gambling senses are the most heightened they have been. Even saw an estate agent sign 'Peter Gamble' and thought strange coincidence. As I'm typing and watching big brother a roulette advert just played. It's everywhere

I failed already wow I did not see that happening. Had to get chips and the bookie (not the main) was there. I thought 'I wonder if they have my exclusion yet, they didn't. I left £5 in the car for chips and took the other £60 cash in to see what I could do. Lost it. Bought the chips and had £2.50 change, what the heck went back and on the first spin for £2 I won £50, the feeling was great. More spins and a change of machine and I walked out with £200. From £2 to £200 is how my mind is working and I'm thinking yesss but know that I failed so quickly wow , forgetting I lost £200 yesterday when saying it as my last gamble. Anyway the exclusion should kick in by tomorrow and hope that is it. Annoying I have to reset my gamble free counter. Weekends are the worst

Ok started self excluding from online accounts and didn't realise they make it difficult to do. One company sends a form I need to fill out, another has no option and another is a simple few clicks but for 6months as the exclusion. I slipped on my last account and thought well I already failed today, and I 'won' , yep £50 later within 5 minutes and I'm feeling bad that I couldn't last a day. I've not tried consciously to stay away from gambling and today realised I've got to get stronger. Anyway lots of exclusions in place, progress

Hi, I said I'd pop by. I hope you managed to sort your photos out?
You say you've not consciously tried to stay away from gambling today so does that mean you're happy with the way things are in your life? Be careful, remember what brought you onto this site in the first place. You got £200 today. Keep it. Remember what's happened to the money you've won in the past - if you're anything like me over the next few days it would have gone back in the machine losing the winnings and then usually a bit more besides.
It's not easy, as you say, you need to be strong. You need to want to make the necessary changes, theres lots of good advice on this site. Your future is in your hands.
All good wishes
Li'l miss L

Hi LML,

Thanks for popping by, it's good to know someone is 'watching' if you know what I mean.please re-read last post as I wrote ' I have not consciously tried to stay away from gambling and today realised I've got to get stronger' meaning yes I do want to change but it's the first time I DID try to stay away consciously. Different to ' I've not tried to stay away consciously today' Yes they have my photos now at main shop and I named the other shop on the form also. Closed most of my online accounts but need to put effort into the two remaining as they require more than clicking, i did however change deposit limit to £5 a month and time limit on one to ten mins, I know that's not good enough and will SE.

Hi, good to read your last post, misunderstanding understood! To take a step back, look at what you're doing and thinking something needs to change is a start.
Well done for taking your photos in and self excluding from the accounts!
I'm sure you've realised from reading the many posts on here blocks have to be made because the temptations are massive - fact!! I only have problems with online gambling so I've had to hand all my cards over to my friend and just use cash. Not what I really want to do but it's so much easier knowing I can't just reach for a card when the urges hit me, which they regularly do as I've explained in my diary. I'm only early days so I'm a novice myself, not really qualified to give out advice.
I'm just looking out for you really and want you to know you're not on your own and there are people here who understand it's not easy.
A new day today, hope it's a good one for you.

lMorning buddy,

Self exclusion is in a way putting a plaster over a broken leg, it won't hear it. Yeah you have made it harder for yourself to gamble, but remember we are all gambling addicts and we will do what it take for us to get tht "buzz"

What I have done and I was a big online app gambler I deleted all those, self excluded, deleted any footy stats app. And being a Saturday I won't watch any the football results I'll try and occupy myself and maybe catch match of the day of the day for the results.

Small changes mate.

I have only been gamble free for only THREE days so I am no way here to offer advice as I am really struggling with being a Saturday and with the new season kicking off (it's a busy day for gambling)

If you have spare time read the forum, join the chat room other will have the very same struggles. And we are all here to help each other.

Have you thought about the GA meetings? I have my first one at 10.00am and I'm sooo nervous but it's another thing I need to do tht will allow me the strength to beat this.

Good luck

Self Exclusion not a a bad route to take. Going to GA keeping a diary avoiding dangers all are helpful. Good Luck

I for the first time ever decided to open up about my gambling today. Got annoyed to start as didn't think my wife was listening or trying to undetstand(she tried to compare it to her buying clothes) anyway I opened up and told her I joined here. We are not in debt but I could have an extra 100k if I wasn't a gambler. I'm half way gone and it felt good opening up, the lies of why I'm always late home came out. The amounts of the year's hasn't been discussed but I think she is happy I'm trying to address a weakness. I repeat I think she is happy because I never really know she is a bit of a stone. I like this site so much because it's other people that just get it

Well done on admitting you have a problem but the trouble with being a compulsive gambler like us is that it's all consuming. It takes our time money and honesty. When I look at all the time I was late home from work cos of the traffic or just popped out for petrol etc our lives revolve around this addiction,maybe your missus isn't a stone maybe she's just been neglected? I realised I had to stop not just for the obvious financial reasons but also it struck me of the lack of time I was spending with my family,the distance I had created between me and my missus. I was consumed by thinking of getting my next spin on the roulette and how I'd sneakily do this. The truth is whilst it's robbing us of money it's robbing us of time and that's the one thing we can't get back 🙁 so make the change self exclude put blocks in place and hopefully over time the haze will lift and try and get back to the way things were. Good luck and keep posting it helps

That's a fair point and good way of looking at it, thanks

4 days so far and I know the true test will be once Friday hits. I have self excluded from my online accounts and from local bookies so that's a good start, I so want to be able to have £50 a month to social gamble but am reading from lots of other posts that there is no such thing. What about if I'm not a CG? Maybe I've just got carried away a few too many times? Surely know with all these blocks I can limit and control it to just £50 a month . That's what keeps going through my head, surely controlled gamblers exist but controlled CG's don't ?