Slipping, Falling and Got to Get Up

Controled gamblers are like aliens. Some will tell you there real. The rest will tell you there loons. Personally I've been both. And I can tell you from failures that it's not really possible no matter how strong you think you are. But that decision should end with you. If you don't want to quit altogether then it's simple dont
No one is going to make you do it
If you read my diary I gave it a shot. And tbh controlled gambaling doesn't quite scratch that itch. It makes it more of a rash if you get my drift.
Deano

Lol name the game I'm in

Tried the diving game top of the App Store but wasn't doing it for me. Will continue to look

Just thought I'd drop by. A week tomorrow gf! Great to see you willing to listen to advice.
Stay strong!!

I failed my first real weekend of trying. I was feeling good avoiding scratch cards , no daily stop at the bookies and knowing I have made things harder for myself to gamble. I even resisted the fruit machines after a beer at the pub on Friday. Saturday I had a night out with wife and the kids were looked after, a nice meal out and then for some cocktails. Unfortunately the proximity to the casino was too much for me to resist. I gave my debit card to my wife, gave her £50 and kept £250 for me. We gambled and then had a drink and then a bit more gambling. I see the difference in how I feel and am while gambling to someone who doesn't have our disease. My wife lost the £50 and didn't seem bothered and wanted to go, I gave her another £50 and said soon, I was winning. I came out of the casino £800 up and gave half to my wife. She still was not full of the excitement I had and have . I can remember some of the big numbers I hit and putting £200 on baccarat and winning. It's crazy and I realise just how much it tantalises my mind. I wake up richer but know I failed, i have reset my counter and hope to put it down to a starting blip. To all those that resisted this weekend, well done from me

Hi kryptonite, how's it going?
Don't beat yourself up too much, take positives from knowing you resisted the temptations as stated at the beginning of your last post.
You came on here because you wanted to make changes in your life. If your gambling free counter is 9 days as stated that's great but if it isn't remember it's never too late to start again.
If you seriously want to stop, you (like most of us) will need to put the blocks in place. No doubt you'll have read about all of these on the site.
Hope this post finds you well.

So I've spent the last 2 months reading Sabine's diary aka Charlys Life. It was amazing and inspiring. The addiction has still been at work and I suppose I was waiting to finish the diary to start my own journey. I want the strength I saw she had and want to stop the dirty, horrible feeling of throwing lots of hard money away in a bookies. The numbers stopped mattering but I have to say , I think about how much I have lost in the last two months alone and think what I could have bought. That just brings bk the feeling of when I would see the bar going up and down on the screen and landing in the green zone for jackpot, it's horrible how that still excites me. The losses feel like a slow turning corkscrew in the heart. I no longer have online accounts and my self exclusion from the bookies didn't work, they still let me gamble. Correction I tried to self exclude when strong , it wasn't valid and I didn't act strongly enough to make them enforce my self exclusion. So begins my journey again.

Krypton

Well done for coming back. But you have to really want to stop gambling.

We all decide to stop after a couple of expensive months. Once you start this process the numbers don't matter and win or lose does not matter.

Gambling is an addiction - sometimes it makes you feel good and sometimes it makes you feel bad. Life is too short to do anything that makes you feel bad. There is enough S*t going on in the world to worry about without us adding to our own misery.

Try and figure out when and when you gamble. Is it when you are stressed or angry, is it just when you drink ? Is it something social

Only you know why you gamble and only you can decide how you can stop these feelings, or replace the gambling urge with something else.

You are an intelligent guy and lucky to have a partner that supports your gambling, but unless you do not change - you will lose your wife. The mood swings and erratic sleeping patterns will make you an a-hole to live with. Is this really what you want ?

Do the right thing...

Almost hit ten days but stupidly had a little bet on horses yesterday, I've never got out of control on horses but have had to reset my gambling free days counter. I wish moderation was a choice, I don't get the same feelings when doing horses it is mild in comparison to slots and roulette. Smokers get nicotine patches or vape, what do gamblers get?