So here it goes.... So glad i found this forum!

I'll look into that defo, good attitude to have that, I've always been quite out going always considered any opportunitys that have come up in my life, Feel like I've kinda In the process of finding a few mates on here even if I never actually meet any in person but I always say, never say never..... You don't know what's around the corner....

So today as posted earlier started off good woke up felt good felt positive slowly started to feel bit lower as day progressed seems to be a night time for me seem to do all my thinking around this time still feel ok saying that tho not too bad.

Not really spoke to anyone about all this coming on here etc and with how hard I'm finding it at the min but told my parter the odd bits and to be honest it's not really a help I feel like to her it's not a big deal where as to me it's feels like a big deal I don't expect her to understand to full extent only people in this situation would but makes me feel like I don't kind of have a right to feel this bad or this way over a gambling problem if that makes any sense hard to write in text how I feel and to explain it, obviously she can see a change in me and I know that there is I'm not my usual self at the min very quiet and not very outgoing at the min which normally I am, think This is maybe why I struggle trying to talk about it feel like people look upon me and think oh it's only a gambling problem you choose to gamble when really to me it's a lot more than that and it's not as simple.

Deffo Seem to spend lot of time on here lately but at min feels like it's all I have and only place I can vent how I feel with out feeling the feelings I've said above.

Feeling a bit lost at the min maybe I'm finding a few holes that I use to just fill in with gambling 🙁

These feelings mate are all normal. As you can see from my diary over the last week I have been feeling very down. We physically withdraw from gambling aswell as mentally withdraw from it. It's hard there will be highs and will be lows. But trust me my friend. After we get through this first stage, there will only be highs because gambling will not bring us down anymore. Have you been in contact with gamcare? They can offer you free councilling. I find it very useful.

Keep your head up mate. Remember- we will not win because we will not stop.

One day at a time mate

Gaz

No not rang it yet deffo going too tomoz tho just need to do it I'm a bad over thinker I over think everything and talk myself in and out of doing things all the time, will do it tomoz tho before weekend as I work loads at weekend don't get chance to do anything then.

Thanks for your keeping in contact tho knowing there is others who feel and have felt how I do makes me feel kind of normal if that even makes sense.....

Hi bud

Well done for making the step to start a diary it certainly helps and it's a a great resource with a wealth of advice and support.

Make that call to Gamcare you will feel better for it you won't be telling them nothing they have not heard before.

I go to GA like ADT and that was the best gamble I ever took. Not easy step to make but worth it. There is a few meetings around the Liverpool area Gary who runs the 2016 challenge on the overcoming gambling section goes to a meeting in aintree. I will bump up a post about GA in the overcoming section which explains how GA works.

Keep reading and posting it helps.

KTF

Thanks KTF

Ye doing this whole thing from reading others stories to doing my own has had a massive impact on helping me, defiantly going to phone and aintree is literally 5 mins away from me so good to know it's so close.

Thanks for the tips and support also means alot.

If I remember rightly it's a Thursday night but I'm sure Gary will confirm that for you.

Well not good today at all feel so down never had great night sleep either, hate going to bed in one mood and not knowing what you'll be like when you wake up think this not being able to control your mood is really grating at me and making me more anxious!

One of my kids birthdays today well she's not actually mine but Yeno how it is close as trying to hide how I feel today don't want to dampen the day but Inside I feel anxious, frustrated and down just hoping is passes soon hate feeling like this feel bit hopeless at the min.

Stay strong mate your doing great

One day at a time

Gaz

Thanks mate trying to just pull myself up now feel like all I do on here is moan and put depressing posts up, decided I'm not going to allow a low mood ruin my day so positive thinking form now....

All the best anyway have a good weekend!

This is what this forum is for mate. They are not depressing posts they are honest and all part of recovery. Keep going mate it will get easier

Hello Rylex

How are you holding up mate?? Don't worry about the moods! Look it does get a bit easier as the weeks do go on. I am on day 27 and i am still up and down but the downs are not lasting as long and can control them better. Like a a wave my friend it goes high and low just grab your surfboard and ride it out.

Look im going to give you some advice . Go and take a walk or jump in the car and go someone quiet and ring gamcare. I promise you, you will come off the phone feeling more positive. these little steps are what lead us places.

Can i make a suggestion to you not today but maybe over the weekend just open up with your lady friend. Tell her the truth about where your head is at and what is going on that will make you feel better. you had a look at my diary, My wife is livid and i dont know what is going to happen but i feel that the burden of lies is off me it has helped me personally.

Hope your ok pal!! Keep going your doing fantasitc!

Thanks ADT think today is just one of them days, been going on little drives on my own so that's what I was thinking next time I do I'll give them a ring, and as for my parter, well it's a bit complicated on that score to complex to go into but she suffers her self with other problems nothing gambling related or anything like that more metal health issues so it's a bit hard to push your problems onto someone who you know has there own struggles her illness is a really complex and hard to understand one took me 5 years to start to get it, she does know how bad my problem is she's been with me at times I've cleared £700-800 on a machine and it's caused us arguments after arguments, maybe that's why I'm finding it bit harder, really appreciate your advice tho.

Think like us all here just need to ride the days like this out and hope for a better one tomorrow, got hit with a big bill also yesterday so don't think that had helped knowing if I didn't gamble it wouldn't of been the issue it's become

Really hope you and your wife get sorted soon, if it's meant to be it will be....

All the best anyway if don't Speak before have a great weekend...

Well finally rang Gamcare today and all that told me to do it you's was right it did help, found it a bit hard at first didn't really know what to say ramled on a bit but she was really nice she refered me to the counciling in my area so have to just wait now for them to get Intouch feel a relief that I've done it and took a further step into beating this and getting my life where I want it to be! And it's all thanks to this forum and you people on it for the encouragement and inspiration.

So after a bad day yesterday feeling great today I know I can do this....

Well done mate! Great step forward to do that. The highs and lows hit me day after day. Never thought it would be this hard but will get there and so will oh mate!