so another day non gambling (or smoking)
had a real urge today to bet was weird but i ignored it totally and it went.
i think bout the good things i can get in my life wen im free of this .how disapointed sum1 would be in me. i wont hurt that person again. this keeps me going!
had a poor day at work tho. why does not aving the buzz get u down wen not aving it is a good thing?
miss chatting this weekend.
got me m1st meeting tomorrow bricking it in a reet state of worry. what if i drive past wen i get there, wot if i purposly be late,im a gambler i lie.
i was not anymore i will go im dan nowthe non gambler i will make this work.i just hope these meetings are what i need i no its not a quick fix but to give me sum ideas and support would be good.i hope i do come out 10 feet tall!!
the thing is wen i been ill want to tell everyone but cant tell a sole! till next day!
Let me know how u get on Dan, I have had alot of strength from the people on here but realise I have a long long long way to go. I need to step it up as always feel I am just minutes away from f*****g up and losing what I can get my hands on, basically I am scared. Need to step it up let me know how GA goes I know it i not great for alot of gamblers but it is said that they r the ones who don't really want to give up. I know both u and I do after finally having moments of clarity.
been to my meeting yesterday and i can say im dan im a compulsive gambler and i havnt gambled since 26th feb.
meeting was good its good to speak to other people who understamd u, give u advice,glad i went will be back there next monday.
i no have goals to work for n i no if i slip up i wont get what i want so i wont slip up.!!
day 20 no gambling!
today im very thankfull for the support i have it helps me along
Hi Dan
Have just read all your diary and I'm impressed with your determination. I'm glad you're here and I'm so glad you found the room. Because the people there will help you in the times when you feel down and lonely. The unity within G.A. is second to none and I know I can call upon any of my G.A. buddies any time, which makes me feel safe and strong. I hope it gives you the same feelings.
Keep up the good work.
God Bless
YSIR
Charly 🙂
another day ahead willl be fun. bit down today evry so often does catch me of gaurd what im doing. but im doing ok i can beat this.
You will beat this if you carry on like this. On the down days think of the good days you have had since stopping then compare to the very worst days when gambling, soon makes you assess any urges that may be creeping in.
cheers guys.
amother day another chance not to bet, need to stop getting down bout the money ive lost and keep looking foward.
cant stop feeling low and alone tho
Yep you gotta forget the money man, it aint coming back.
In fact as I mentioned on my diary, if someone gave me the cast iron option of either
A) Get all my money back , which is substantial
or
B) never bet again
I would choose B B B B B B B B all the time.
gunna forget the money yeah.
went to shop right next to the bookies today never felt the urge to go in.,aint felt anyurges to check who or what is running at all. got too much to lose and im not talking money. another g.a meeting tomorrow be good. nearly at the month mark surprised i got there.
got sum things to look foward to which push me on to make this work.
Cool. nearly one month eh , time flies when you are getting your life back together. Well done Dan glad the urges are subsiding too, if you can get past Cheltenham who gives a f*** about the 315 at Plumpton of Fakenham eh!! Take care and and stay strong and I wish you all the best.
to true mancity.
another g.a meeting looked foward to this one its good to hear from like minded people who have this major problem in common.
Dan you've had a monumental change in your life through sheer hard work and determination and for that I congratulate you. You really are a shining beacon of hope for us all here going through this cr**. You're showing us how its done! I thank you for sticking by me and showing me the way....
ive not done that much but thanks.
just tried to keep my mind of it thats all ave small goals to work for and big ones am rerwarding myself with a meal out with somebody specail this week as it will be a month gamble free and payday!!
still feel weird wen guys at work say wens the national on dan flat season starts soon did u see ruby walsh win again saturday!! NO im a compulsive gambler!! cant say that tho not ready to tell everyone or think i ave to tell everyone.
been wondering if i miss watching racing? not sure i do.
did i like watching races wen i was beting if i hadnt betted on that race? dont think i did really, so all i watched them for was cus i had cash on it. so i dont need to watch gold cup the grand national any of it. cus im not that botherd by the race on its own. so if i dnt watch i cant be tempted!! another day down.
ok so im exactly one month in to my recovery.
also it is pay day. no control over my money so ive yet to find out how much i been paid,not that it really matters as i cant get to it!!!
but ive done a month ,spose two or three months ago i didnt see myself lasting a month then again never had any money but i spose i wouldve borrowed sum. gunna be given cash today for essentials so will be in town with money in my hand first time since i quit.we shall see how it feels. off to gym to see bout joining today hopefully it will replace the need to gamble and the gym can be my addiction.
paying off a debt i ran up while gambling today bit down as that money could be used for other things.the joys of being addicted!
but no more today is a new start a fresh month and hopefully by the end its two months and i hav pennies left will will see.
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