start of a long road

My dear friend Craig,

We have to leave everything behind us, along with the gambling. Some of us lost less or more money, loads of other valuable things that meant a lot in our lives. The bottom line is that we are all stuck with this addiction and the feelings that come with it when we decide that we had enough. The guilt, depression, lack of self respect etc. Glad to be on the same boat with you. And when we get our freedom from this addiction, I will invite you for a few beers under the Cyprus glorious sun ( you haven't jinxed it, it was just a cloudy break ). Cheer up my friend, talk to you soon

Take care and keep fighting it

Aggies

1 month today

Hi Cat.

I just joined yesterday and have been amazed at the support I have already received. Yesterday I was desperate, yet today, I too feel indifferent.. almost like the whole disaster is happening to somebody else and I'm fine. There is much evidence to the contrary - I have made a horrible mess - and yet I can be scarily detached from it sometimes. Thanks for writing about it.

Dear Craig,

Just finished reading your diary. Whilst you are clearly doing it hard, you gave me so much hope! I am so sick of the wastefulness of this condition.. the time, the money, the energy I should be spending elsewhere. Every time I have tried to stop I have fallen off the wagon when I am feeling good! (Well, relatively good - like I have managed to fix some of the financial pressure or something). Once I start, I become insanely drven to continue. To read about you riding out the ups and downs means a lot. Don"t know how to express it but thankyou.

Well day 2 of taking my anti-depressants and have got a few side affects which are supposed to be quite normal but they are quite strange to have.

They do subside over time though (apprantly) and i'm sure in the long run they will make me feel better and i can get my life back on track.

Hi craig

hope you're ok. its a positive step going to the doctors when you feel this low. its a hard thing to do, its hard to do anything.

i've had several courses of anti depressants - some for up to 9 months. in my experience the side effects do subside, they may take a little while to kick in though so dont become disheartened and think they are not working.

i know some people think anti depressants are not the answer but i have found they work - they dont solve the problems in my life but they make me more able to take control and then i can sort the problems. just a few thoughts/experiences i've had, hope it helps.

claire xxx

yes it has helped claire i too know that the anti depressants cant help my gambling but they will let me function normally again i hope.

I am determined to beat my gambling problem but have struggled a bit over the last couple of days thank god i self excluded myself from the sites i played on cos think i might of waivered but so far so good.

Also found myself nearly going into the bookies for a game of roulette but turned around and walked away.

This is the worst i've been re my gambling but one day at a time still gamble free.

Hi Craig, I see you introduced yourself to me, so I thought I would do you the honour of reading your diary in its entirety.

Not to take you back but you are very similar to myself in respect to the way things have been. I won't dwell on it in your diary but I am sure I will be talking about it in mine.

Great to hear you have your medicine now and I really hope they work. Don't give in and whatever your little 'devils' say to you, stay strong and I hope we can get through this together. I feel for you.

PS Good luck for tonite mate!

Well just had my first GA meeting.

It went ok and i will be going again at least i got the first one out of the way.

((((((craig)))))

good for you...i'm not crazy about every little thing (or person) at my meetings...but they *do* benefit me..so I go to get what *I* need...try not to dwell on the rest 🙂

was good to run into you in chat...was called away for a bit by the kiddo's - perhaps will see you again soon.

odaat!

peg

xoxo

Hi Craig,

No longer a ga virgin! lol.

Seriously though, really glad you went. Its good 'live' support and like peg says, just take the bits you need from it.

Hope today is a good one for you 🙂

Jackie

Well done craig, thats brilliant, I went to mine too but it was a 'special' meeting. Next ones on in a fortnight, I'm determined to get there too.

Hope your feeling ok mate, keep your head up high.

We're all here for you.

Ben

Good on you Craig for that taking that first step. Little steps lead to a marathon!!!

We will give you all our support on here too. Joy x

Hey Craig,

Again thanks for getting on to post to me.

Like you mention, its kinda strange we knew all the ins and outs of he games, yet could never hold on to being profitable. Maybe it makes us the biggest fish around, maybe its because of the psycological problems that are built into us. For me finding the answer to this question is what its all about.

Am glad you are staying strong and away from the temptations. Put serious thoughts into the blocking software, talked it through with the other half and am still not sure that is the right step, as although it blocks the use, it isn't helping me to get over the issue. I have so far with will and this site not been back to one, and I hope it stays that way.

I have heard manyt times that willpower is not enough on its own, but it leads me to believe, without trying to use my mind to stop the problem first, I will never know if it was possible.

Kinda sad in a way as it leaves the door open, but at the same time leaves me hope that I can stop myself because I want to. Please please don't take this as me having a dig, it isn't that at all, its my 'first' go at giving it all up, and hopefully the only try I will need, if that makes sense.

I'll be here for you mate, thanks again for the continued support, trust me its needed.

ODAAT - Just for TODAY - I haven't gambled!

Hi Craig, hope your doing ok. Joy x

Hey craig,

Didn't see you on here yesterday, hope everything is ok with you.

JFT!