ok here goes the start of my new life, last week my wife took over control of my finances ,I was reluctant but new I had to give control to her even though I knew she would be able to see what I gambled and what debts I had ,that was on the 3of August so I'm now 10 days gamble free .
Now why do I gamble? I've asked myself so many times and if I knew the answer it would be easy to stop, don't think it works like that ,reasons why I gamble there are many feeling worthless ,boredom ,chasing losses
,and even weirdly wanting to feel the guilt of losing ,I seen somewhere gambling is self harm without the scars think that applies to me
Ok so wife wants me to tell family , I'm not ready don't want to hurt them be a failure to them feeling worthless again this only makes me want to gamble again experience the high but untimatley the guilt of losing , now I can understand the wife wanting them to know but I would love to be able to say I'm you son haven't gambled in 2 , 3, 4,5,.......10 years.
It's the start of the new football season think it's the first time I haven't placed a bet on it in 20 years, feeling mixed emotions ranging from being proud of myself to thinking what am I missing out on but I remind myself that I'm not missing anything only a loss a chase and a massive feeling of guilt .
Feel better for writing this letting some pressure out appreciate any feedback
Rm79
Hi Ryan
Very difficult this addiction thing if you beleive what the bookmakers tell you about gambling. just stop when its not fun anymore. no comment is all i say. re support, if it was me, i'd get as much support as you can. After all the most important person knows and she's still hanging on in there with you!
Enjoy what you've got Ryan but put in place the barriers ASAP to protect yourself. Look at my diary if your not sure what strategies you can use. Tri
Evening buddy,
Admitting that you have a problem isn't easy at the best of times, and while you may have had no choice in admitting the situation to your wife, ultimately it is up to you whether or not you confess the full situation to your family. In one way, confessing to more people makes you more likely to want to succeed, as you will have the communal support of more people, and will feel a responsibility in that way. However, the counter is that you may feel more pressure, either perceived or real, and it may work the other way.
Either way, it is down to you to find the way that best suits your situation and those around you, and whichever you choose I wish you the best of luck in fighting this addiction.
Gambling thrives on secrecy and blowing it open is a really useful tool in recovery. Like many other things there's short term pain and long term gain.
CW
At the end of the day it's your choice who you tell...does your wife want your family to know so that she has some support...if that's the case then I think it would be the best way forward...maybe she feels she can't support you on her own...that she needs them to be around for her...maybe talk to her about that...ask her why she feels they need to know...then go from there.....respect her decision. ...ok it's the hardest thing to fess up...but if that's what it takes....that's what we have to do...like you...I wanted time to get to a better place...but actually when it was out there...it was easier...good luck x
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