Start of the journey!

Hi there. I'll just say I was in a very similar position at your age and can't help but think 'if only I had stopped then'. To beat this addiction there can be no half measures. If you put as much effort in recovery as you did gambling you'll be fine. Remember, recovery is not just abstaining, there's a lot more to it than that. Forget about the money, I know that may sound difficult to do but in all honesty the financial loss is just a by-product of our addiction. You'll be free and clear of the debt in a few years which is no time at all when you think about it! Recovery is for life though.

Your life will be 100% better in recovery than it would be with gambling in it.

All the best

Great advice from Sam. If its as simple as stopping, just do it as the gambling industry says, but if you are still struggling, get in touch with Gamcare and get some options. From counselling to other support like GA, you're not alone in this if you don't want to be. Tri

Hi both - thanks for replying. I've actually had a manic day at work which has kept me sane! I hadn't even thought about gambling, about horses, dogs etc. Im a part owner of 3 greyhounds and will probably have to give that up in order to give gambling up because for me going to the owner nights etc would be too involved. Im almost certain that I have the willpower to do this and the support on here seems great. Gamcare have put me in touch with a councellor and hopefully I can go on from there. All I know is I need to stop for my sanity. 6 nights a week sat losing money on a combination of greyhound racing and football cannot be good for anyones health. Especially when you're sat eating junk food, drinking and watching greyhounds instead of eating well and enjoying time out in the sun with family!

Im not sure how these threads work. Is this just a self diary I write in every day? If so this could be useful. After a hectic day at work I decided I was going to have a productive night, so I cooked tea and spent some time with the family. I had a massive urge to gamble when I saw a highlight of the chelsea game on Facebook. I managed to accept it and resist it after coming back on here and reading a different thread. I felt positive afterwards. It was nice to spend some time with family too, something I hadn't been doing much of!

yes it can be just self reflection. sometimes as sam and I have done, other posters may help and support and you hopefully will support other diaries in the future. thanks for being here jack and being honest. it helps us all when we work together, tri

Checked 1 years worth of online banking. £6,250 lost to pure debit card transactions. I estimate maybe £3k to credit card transactions on gambling. I don't bet on FOBT just sports. Absolutely crazy. For me the financials seem important due to the opportunity cost. I could ticket off about 75% of my bucket list but no, instead I lost £100 on man utd losing.. Its been a real eye opener. I saw on another thread that theres an App called iQuit Gambling, I set it up based on £6,250 / 365 to give me a daily average. It will be interesting to see. In writing this post alone ive saved 11p! Knowing that I could be ~£9k per year up instead of ~£9k per year down is a massive spur on. Contacted a debt charity and going on a debt management plan. All interest frozen and paying back £500 a month, BUT, I will cut up all access to credit and therefore takes money from the triangle. I really am doing this!!

Check in on day 3, I told my girlfriend everything last night barring the debt/debt plan. Thats something I would rather sort on my own, I've just had a payrise and the bump up covers the cost of the debt plan. As far as she's aware im still getting the same money etc. Im ashamed of the debt really. The girlfriend has helped come up with some ideas and ways we're going to tackle this together as overall she was happy I'd made the decision. I didn't hide any gambling from her, only the amounts I lost, but I have a feeling she knew anyway. Im keeping myself busy and also im at a festival this weekend. By the time the festival is over I will have been 1 week bet free. Ive only had one major gambling urge and im past that. Hopefully I they will get smaller over time. Hope everyones day is as positive as it can be. J

Good to see you have a plan for the debt but don't get too caught up on finances. You say you're ashamed of the debt - I used to feel like this too and it inevitably led back to gambling. I just couldn't accept paying X amount every month when I knew it could be put to better use. The result was even more debt and self-loathing etc etc. Gambling affects so much more of our lives than just money - the fact that you are still hiding things from your girlfriend isn't a great start. It's basically lying and of course you may try to convince youself it's not. I did the exact same thing. All my gambling losses came from my money and I felt I didn't need to burden her with that. Secrets and lies won't get you through recovery. It's your choice whether to tell her the whole truth or not but be aware you may need to lie in the future to cover yourself. An example being (again from my own experience) what if she comes to you about going on a holiday next year, one that you should be able to afford? You know yourself you can't afford it and tell her as such then she asks why. Will you tell her about your debt then? Apologies if it sounds like preaching, it's not my intention, just trying to make you aware of obstacles you will face down the road.

In saying all that you have done very well by opening up to her about your problem. It's a big step and one that was necessary. As for the debt and the losses try to let them go. I'd point to the serenity prayer for that one "accept the things I cannot change". As the gamble free days build up you will begin to see things more clearly and make more logical choices.

One last thing, you should think about giving GA and/or counselling a try. Nothing ventured nothing gained!

All the best

If you read the f&f, you'll see that it's not the financial losses the OHs mind, it's being lied to and generally taken for a mug. Just as you wouldn't appreciate her lying to you, in any context.

Honesty is the cornerstone of recovery.

CW

Thanks both. Im here on day 4. I plan to tell her I am just ashamed. I'll probably have to just bite the bullet and tell her. I know she will be supportive. The salary I am on/will be on after my promotion will swallow up the debt repayments anyway - I should be fine living comfortably. That being said, on reflection, you're right - it is lying. We plan on moving in together in January so I think she should be aware before she commits to that. I had a major win on day 4. As I only have stopped gambling for 4 days I still had a winning betslip from the weekend to go and collect, betting in shops isn't my kind of thing but I was desperate last weekend (one of the indcators I needed to stop!) - I managed to walk into the bookies, pick up the winnings, walk right out of there. Might not be a major win, but definitely felt like it for me! 4 gamble free days and to be honest not going to look back to that life, I've told my family and OH about the addiction and how Im dealing with it, I feel better for it. Today is again another beautiful gamble free day and my mind can actually focus on positive things.

Here I am, day 9. I have been away all weekend at a music festival. Not one urge to gamble but had some really bad urges today, fighting them off and trying to keep myself busy. Urges are shorter but seem sharper at the minute.

Okay I lied, day 10 but my god - all I wanted to do today is gamble!! Why ?!?!

My mind is telling me "just set a strict deposit limit, its fine." Im holding out but not sure how long if this urge remains!!

You're always a bet away from disaster.

Stay safe,

CW

Did well, accepted the urge yesterday. Rationalised it and dealt with it. Spoke to both the OH and the mother and they helped massively. No urges today and im suddenly day 11 feeling great. 2 weeks soon, will then be a month and then a year. Im going to a football match Sunday which will be a test but I'll be with supportive friends who know about me not betting! Hope you're all well! !