Okay here we go... It's late and I'm up for work in a few hours but I really need to do this asap so I'll start now with a little one.
​I really need to stop gambling! I've had a problem for years and hit some massive lows. I've said "never again" too many times and always ended up going again. It really has and still is ruining my life. The last few days all I've done when not at work is play roulette on my mobile and in the bookies. I won £1000 on Saturday on a mobile casino site and went out to celebrate. By the morning I had £200 left of it. I'd gotten drunk and reversed 4 of the 5 £200 withdraws. Totally gutted. I waited until it got paid into the bank (yesterday) and then went to the bookies as soon as I got it out! Straight onto the roulette and in 5 minutes had £700... Ten minutes later left with £35. Have to make that last 3 weeks until next payday.
​I just have no control over it. It's so frustrating and I'm not sure how I'm going to find the strength and willpower to stop? I have to try as it's killing me. I feel totally empty and worthless.
​Right, enough rambling. I have to try to sleep.
​Goodnight! I'll try to update tomorrow sometime.
​Den.
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Thanks Allainepo
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Good morning!
​I had planned to write something yesterday but had a rather long day at work and was rather tired when I got home... It wasn't long before I was asleep on the couch!
​Well I still haven't gambled since starting this. I'm on my 2nd day now and am setting myself a short term target of 10 days... That'll be quite an achievement for me if I can manage it. Not a lot more I can write at the moment. I'm off today and tomorrow so going to the gym both days. Healthy body healthy mind and all that kind of thing!
​Alrighty then. I'm off. Hopefully I'll be updating tomorrow with another clean day under my belt!
​Den.
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Hi Den,
Have you told anyone close to you? I know I wouldn't have made it as far as I have alone. Also I think it might be worth selling your smartphone, as i noticed you said you play roulette on it. I used to gamble in the toilet at work on my phone and in my lectures at uni, but i sold it and had a crappy one for 2 months and i haven't gambled since. Counselling also worked for me, so could be worth a shot!
Best of luck mate. Just take it one day at a time. Get your head on the pillow tonight gamble free. That's what I'm still doing 4 months later, but at least I can now spend my money enjoying myself which takes my mind off gambling.
Hey Lego 🙂
​I was gambling in the toilet at work just a few days ago! It's too easy done! I have thought about getting rid of my phone but I'm a bit reluctant to do so as I like playing some online games (not gambling) and would have to stop if I got rid of it. I'll see how I get along for now, hopefully I'll be able to control myself.
​It's no secret about my gambling. When I was younger I kept it to myself but everyone knows now. It does no good keeping quiet about it.
​I think I'm going to see the doctor through the week about getting some anti depressants and to enquire about counselling. I've been on the pills before and they do help. I've also had counselling before with mixed results. Once really helped and another time really didn't! I suppose it depends on who you get.
​Thanks for your message and support.
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Hi Den, welcome to the forum & good to speak to you in chat earlier 🙂
I have heard you may need to 'kiss a few frogs' with the counselling but have you tried any other options for the depression? If you came off the pills before, it suggests you got to grips with it? Remember & use your relaxation techniques now because as you know, they won't kick straight in, even going straight back onto them.
We can't control this...We cannot win because we cannot stop! You need to break your gambling (Time-Money-Location, remove 1 & you cannot gamble) triangle. If you don't get rid of your phone, you should download a blocking software (the helpline should be able to assist with what works on your device, K9 is free Betfilter/Gamblock/NetNanny are all paid for versions). Are you able to hand over your finances to a loved one? There is a number on one of Oldhamktf's threads for a telephone to do multiple exclusions from bookies & you can report you card damaged then scratch off the CVV number on the new one so you can't use it online. What about GA?
No good hoping your willpower will finally kick in...Take action now. Don't wait til you're in your 40's like I did.
Keep working on your body & mind - ODAAT
Thanks ODAAT. And sorry about taking off so quickly in chat... I got visitors just after I started!
​Not sure what blocking software is available for Windows phones as the apps for them are very limited. I'll look into it. I looked into GA meetings and the nearest to me is about 70 miles away! I could maybe go through on the train to the odd meeting if I'm off work but it isn't ideal. I think most of my efforts will be focused on here and looking forward to writing about another gamble free day each day!
​Well I'll maybe speak to you in chat another time.
​Den.
Another day gamble free done 🙂
I've been at the gym most of the weekend running, lifting weights and swimming. It's kept my mind off the gambling while I was there. Back at work tomorrow. I'll not be taking money with me so I won't be tempted... And yes, I am tempted. I'm doing what I can to distract myself but I do want to gamble. I'll keep on trying to resist.
Hello there!​
​No bets today thank you! No urges which is magnificent. I know I'm not "cured" but today was a good day.
Working tomorrow so should be fine and then I have three days off which will be a bit of a test. I'll have to keep myself busy.
Another day done!
​I didn't mention before but I haven't had a drink since I stopped gambling. My self control goes out of the window when I drink. I'd rather just avoid it and I'll save some money that way too!
​I'm off to bed now. Going to the gym with a friend in the morning.
​Goodnight!
I'm really struggling today. I have £14 to last me more than 2 weeks and I've been massively tempted to go to the bookies with it. I know how stupid that is but it's what I've done for 20 plus years and part of me wants to keep doing it.
​I've come on here now to read some diaries and try to get some strength and inspiration from other peoples stories... There are so many people with similar stories and in the same situation as me that are doing so well, it gives me hope and belief that I could change.
​I know it's still early days but seeing my gamble free days growing daily on here makes me want to keep at it. Getting closer to 10 every day! That'll be a great feeling. There's only been 5 or 6 times over the years that I've gone that long without gambling and most of them were only because I had absolutely no money, no credit rating for loans and nothing to sell. I just hope I can stick this out. I'd be gutted now if I messed up again.
​Might post again later tonight? Maybe update tomorrow.
​Den.
£14 or £0 Den? You know how this pans out! Keep fighting the urges, one second @ a time if you have to!
What about phoning the helpline? Going for a walk? Can you get to a supermarket later as it's closing & see what you can buy for pennies then cook it up ready for the next couple of days. Go & see someone, maybe someone who knows of your struggles & tell them you are finally getting help...Maybe one who would like the road trip to a meeting?
Post as much as you want, read until your eyes close, make use of the 7 & 9pm chat rooms. Urges are just wicked thoughts in our minds, they will pass!
You are doing great...Stay safe - ODAAT
Hi Den, those urges come and you did the right thing by coming here and talking about them. Regarding counselling, phone gamcare and get referred by them. I did it on Monday, had my first appt this afternoon and its free. I have an iPhone and also can't use blocking software but I have self excluded everywhere (my gambling was all online) and ordered a new card. My mother scratched off the number when it arrived today and voila! No ability to gamble online. The sense of safety that brings is immense.
You're doing really well. Keep going.
Thanks folks 🙂
​I did go to the supermarket! Needed deodorant and some foods so I now have £8.30! Got quite a lot for £5.70 mind!
​I went to the gym this evening... If I keep going there for a distraction I'll be looking like Arnie in no time! My body's aching a bit but it feels good!
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