Starting again at day 1 :(

Jil,

Well done for getting through the weekend gamble free and for your continued progress. You appear focused and determined and they are two qualities required for long term abstinence. I wish you well. I have a good feeling that you will be successful in recovery.

Tomso.

Hi Jillfe

I really enjoyed your story on your first post, learning about people and how their life has been affected really makes you think about your own life and how gambling has affected me throughout the years

Id love to hear the story continued if you get some time to write about it

I started gambling at 17 and at 31 I have been through all the peaks and troughs that I expect you have

lots of relapses, parents bailing me out over and over, borrowing off friends, avoiding nights out, breakdown of relationships

And somehow about 98% of people in my life don't know im a gambling addict

Who we are is not who we appear to be

Stay strong

NI

Thanks Tomso I really appreciate the support 🙂 I hope you too are doing well. Hi Nlboy, I can really relate to what you are saying there. I hope to get some more put into my story soon been really busy this week and I know exactly what you mean by who we are is not who we appear to be as I especially feel so contradictory in the work that I do. Thanks for you post its so good when people understand.

Well here I am at day 16....well done me, I only made it to day 13 last time but haven't given up giving up. Although pay day will be the real test. 2 more days until my next councellor session, can't remember the last time I was able to tell them I haven't gambled for so long....starting to see the take off on my journey to recovery, think the wheels have just left the ground but soon I'll be flyin on 🙂

Well done jillfe. A cracking and most honest thread if I so say so. Keep up the good work.

A.n.d

Well done. Stay strong! X

Thanks guys 🙂

Well this is day 17 of not gambling, soon be 3 weeks. I can't say that it has bothered me that much which is suprising me, I don't have an empty feeling. Maybe because i am using the last few £'s in my overdraft and I don't have the cash to gamble but because I have got rid of the access when I think about gambling I feel safe that I can't do it. I come on here each day and feel greatful for other peoples stories and comments as they are helping me get through this. Been a busy hectic week which has helped to not think about gambling. I will be happier and prouder this time next month when I have not gambled to get from one pay day to another would be a massive achievement for me so that's my goal for the short term.

Great to have a goal both short and long term and I'm sure you will hit it. Just keep doing what your going and you will get there. Thanks for your post and have a great weekend.

Really happy had a great weekend playing sports, feeling fully revitalized 🙂 not had a minute to sit down, so I'm looking forward to putting my feet up watching a couple of movies and a nice big roast dinner tonight. Haven't thought about gambling apart from when I went to switch my laptop on earlier, it is sunday which is a day I would usually gamble and sometimes on the laptop but the thought soon went away when I thought about being skint at the minute. Have to make sure for next time I get a thought I have something else in my head as could be dangerous if I do have money. 3 weeks tomorrow so keep going me and keep being strong 🙂

Have noticed I am feeling quite uptight and snappy at present, not sure if this is due to not gambling or not!

Three weeks today not gambling, just looked at my minus bank balance, think it would help if you could see some short term benefits of not gambling rather than having to work towards months of getting out of debt.

Hi jillfe

Sundays are my killer day as well. And I was so close to gambling but I made myself look at the deposits and bets id made and it appalled me. Three weeks is such a great effort. Anytime I think about gambling I just think of the pain it caused me and everyone around me. It is just not worth it as there is no benefit!

But I felt what u felt today, that the week I have been gamble free has felt long and a real initial struggle for no financial gain. Three weeks therefore must be extremely difficult. However I now try and think that I have avoided more losses by not gambling and therefore this will result in long term benefits.

I hope any of the above helps, keep in touch x

Hi Stuart, thank u for your reply, really appreciate the support and to know I am not the only 1 🙂

Well I have just passed the 3 week point. I have not slept great at all the last 2 nights, don't know if this is related or not (see how when stuff is going wrong I'm blaming it on not gambling ha)

I was suppose to be going out for a meal on Friday with alot of girls but I have just had to cancel as I'm too skint. Well you know what us women are like, a new dress etc is at least £100 before we even go out! It's pay day on Monday though so going to have to make sure i get all my christmas presents sorted out of that which again will leave me skint. Hopefully start to see the benefits after Christmas when I can start to pay of abit of my debt. Once that is cleared and I can get on my feet again is when I feel I would probably be at most danger as money burns a hole in my pocket. We will see 🙂

o*g what an amazing inspirational woman you are, you should be very proud over what you have achieved, I went to see a aquarios counsellor on Monday found it really helpful to have an actual person who understands to speak to,

Take care and stay strong karl

Thank you for your reply Karl 🙂 I'll find your post and have a read.

I could do with finding some time to write more in my first post and dig deep into my past.

Had a strange thought whilst i was in bed last night, I am feeling quite agitated at the minute and feel like i am going to blow at any minute. The last time I remember feeling like this was when I was about 20 and I use to smoke canabis, I was mentally addicted to canabis and use to feel agitated and angry when I didn't have it, glad those days are over but I can relate to the feelings as though gambling is a mental addiction there are no physical withdrawal symptoms etc but the way I have been feeling is definatley similar not sure if anyone else has experienced anything like this?

Anyhow 3 weeks and 2 days today no gambling. Although I need pay day to come I am not looking forward to it as i know I will get more urges. I am looking forward to about March time though when I should hopefully have cleared most of my debt. Need to give my head a wobble today and stay strong 🙂

Just read your diary for first time, it's very honest and that will help a lot in fighting our addiction.

I understand completely about your agitation. I too smoked cannabis / s***k for about 10 years from the ages 14-24. I'm now 31. When I didn't have my weed, I was all over the place and ultra snappy. Eventually gave up after a struggle but it was a lot easier to quit than gambling is, a lot easier.

Gambling may have no physical withdrawal symptoms but it's harder to train your mind out of a routine which in your case maybe what is happening. Our minds need to be occupied and will yearn the buzz feeling of gambling.

You, like me, are a very compulsive person in relation to the period when you wasn't gambling because although you were not gambling, you were partying all the time thus having some think to keep your attention. We need something in our focus at all times which will help to stay away from gambling.

You seem to be a very interesting person that I would like to hear more about

R x